Off to China in a couple of hours

Any recommendations what can I bring with me? Also, if you
could pick one of the below options, which one would you suggest?

1. Small children to assemble stuff for me to sell.
2. A mail order bride to cook, clean, run errands and pleasure me.
3. Old people to do my laundry.

I guess all of these things can be performed by any Chinese person
and it's easy to find them off the shelf, merely asking in the street,
but, sadly, I can't get all 3 (my luggage weight limit is 34 kg.) Therefore,
I'd appreciate your suggestions.

Thanks,
-S-

Originally posted by Seitse
Any recommendations what can I bring with me? Also, if you
could pick one of the below options, which one would you suggest?

1. Small children to assemble stuff for me to sell.
2. A mail order bride to cook, clean, run errands and pleasure me.
3. Old people to do my laundry.

I guess all of these things can be performed by any Chinese person
and it's ...[text shortened]... (my luggage weight limit is 34 kg.) Therefore,
I'd appreciate your suggestions.

Thanks,
-S-

Originally posted by redbadger
go for the bride (you no mention bums) you ok?

Originally posted by Seitse
All cool here. Not precisely excited to go to China but what the hell. I've been
to worse holes and came out with not more than an STD.

I'll get the bride and report back, my friend.

Originally posted by Seitse
Any recommendations what can I bring with me? Also, if you
could pick one of the below options, which one would you suggest?

1. Small children to assemble stuff for me to sell.
2. A mail order bride to cook, clean, run errands and pleasure me.
3. Old people to do my laundry.

I guess all of these things can be performed by any Chinese person
and it's ea ...[text shortened]... l 3 (my luggage weight limit is 34 kg.) Therefore,
I'd appreciate your suggestions.

Thanks,
-S-

Originally posted by Seitse
Any recommendations what can I bring with me? Also, if you
could pick one of the below options, which one would you suggest?

1. Small children to assemble stuff for me to sell.
2. A mail order bride to cook, clean, run errands and pleasure me.
3. Old people to do my laundry.

I guess all of these things can be performed by any Chinese person
and it's ...[text shortened]... (my luggage weight limit is 34 kg.) Therefore,
I'd appreciate your suggestions.

Thanks,
-S-

Originally posted by vivify
Why can't the bride do the laundry? She's already cooking and cleaning.

Day 1

People spit, pee and defecate in the streets with the same denouement that
I mine my nose for buggers.

Some toilets are at ground level, non-Western style. Pretty scary.

I just bought a microchip prototype at the Schenzhen market from a dude
working at a Blade Runner-style stall. The old geezer looked like
Voldemort on crack.

about the bride-thing: you know that China is a woman import nation, don't you? There is a demographic problem there.

Originally posted by Ponderable
about the bride-thing: you know that China is a woman import nation, don't you? There is a demographic problem there.

Chinese old buggers as laundry crew are overrated.
You must be under influence of comic books about Lucky Luke.
Chinese braids are often violent and not devoted.
Both ld men and girls are grumpy.
(*sorry, GB)

Japanese ode men are good for laundry, and Vietnamese, Japanese and Korean girls for braids.

Originally posted by vandervelde
Chinese old buggers as laundry crew are overrated.
You must be under influence of comic books about Lucky Luke.
Chinese braids are often violent and not devoted.
Both ld men and girls are grumpy.
(*sorry, GB)

Japanese ode men are good for laundry, and Vietnamese, Japanese and Korean girls for braids.

Originally posted by sonhouse
You do realize he is doing no such thing as a trip to China don't you?

Originally posted by sonhouse
You do realize he is doing no such thing as a trip to China don't you?

Day 2

I can confirm that Chinese brides are a no go. Chinese private karaoke hostesses, on
the other side, fake tremendously well their love and devotion. They chopstick fed me
deep fried squid lips and dubious whisky while I was singing horribly to the tune of
'Hey Jude'. The 4 I got for 1 hour clapped, danced around me between songs, and
offered extra services --which I respectfully declined.

As for the laundry, I like my clothe washing like I like my sex: done by myself and by
hand.

I cannot yet comment on the cleaner. The hotel's service lady seems to be Malaysian.
Just in case, I am not wearing neither my Star of David nor my yarmulke. Also, I try
to keep my shekels out of her sight.