This thread is an experiment in seriousness amidst all the fun and frivolity - not that there is anything wrong with the latter! 😉
All of us have at some time of our lives suffered the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune". Pain is an integral part of the human condition.
Often the worst part of pain is that there is no one to share, no one who will listen - because they are all busy with their own pain!
Here is an opportunity for anyone who is prepared to share with the rest of us an incident, or an experience, which caused you physical or emotional pain, and, if you wish, explain how you dealt with it.
There are only two ground rules for this thread:
(1) This is a SHARING and LISTENING thread! Please, no quick fix, elastoplast solutions! In fact, please refrain from giving any advice or suggestions, unless you want to share something about yourself along similar lines.
(2) In particular, no DEBATES or RELIGION please! (That is why it is in THIS Forum!!) Let's not play amateur psychologist nor priest nor pastor. Just try to listen for a change!
I must admit I have no idea if this will work. All I have in the back of my mind is that if you can put something into words, and even share it anonymously with a faceless stranger, it may have a cathartic effect in its own right.
Let's try it and see.......
In peace,
CJ
Originally posted by dfm65Fair enough.
Sounds like it is worth a try...how about an example, to get the ball rolling?
I lost my father in the war when I was just one year old (that dates me!)
My mother married again, and emigrated with her three young children to South Africa.
My step-father was a "good" man, very upright and proper, and very private. I cannot remember one single meaningful conversation with him in all my life! (he died about five years ago) My own son was appalled that I could not bring myself to say anything at all at his funeral...
My pain only appeared later in life. Youngsters think that what they experience is the "norm"! It was actually only when I became an adult that I began to sense what I had been missing. Never had a talk with my father about school, about girls, about sex, or about anything that moved me - although he was always there! I suffered no abuse or ill treatment, only to be ignored and not taken seriously, which is perhaps the worst abuse. I am convinced I would have coped better if I had rather not had a father.
Anyway, I also suffered under guilt, in that I felt I "should" not be so self-pitying; after all, many others had far greater pain. So it was buried deep, and affected my relationships.
It was only fairly recently, actually about three years ago, that under counseling with both my wife and myself that I confronted the issue and made peace with the little boy in me, who had every right to feel what he did. What he needed was not censure and suppression, but validating, and comfort.
A loss will always be a loss, like Macbeth said: what's done cannot be undone. However, with understanding and acceptance comes healing.
CJ