Okay, admittadly, this may not be the most favoured of topics, but I think it is one that we really should explore...
Why?
Because most people do it. And I think there are do's and do not's when it comes to nose picking and if nobody is willing to talk about it, then nobody's going to know if it's a do or a don't.
And we're all better off if everyone knows when it's a don't!
First, let's get to grips with the subject.
Obviously there's a nose involved. Nearly equally as obvious there are fingers involved. Generally speaking there are no thumbs in the matter or pencils, but, there are obviously exceptions. More about them later.
Snot is involved. Let's start off with bogies.
Snot is basically the residue of internal bodily warfare. It's the dead troops being carted out (or shot out, depending on the force of the sneeze) of the nasal tube of death.
Snot can be catagorised in three catagories...
1. Watery snot.
This is the sort of snot we encounter on the faces of ice-hockey players and professional ice-skaters. It sort of drips out of the nose and freezes in one's beard. It's not very good for picking, but can sometimes be found on the cheek of a child or on the sleeve of a construction worker.
2. Slimey snot.
This is the sort that when you pick your nose it forms a sort of slimey rope from your nose and just expands the further you move your index finger from your nasal cavity.
Expert nose pickers can play with it for hours until it becomes:
3. Snot balls
The spungy substance we all like to play with. If you're very lucky you can mine a spungy snot ball out of your nose in one go. More often than not however it is attached to greater amounts of slimey snot.
Eventually this is the snot, however, that we can roll into a ball and flick around a friend's living room.
Like dead bodies, the dead cells (or snot) sometimes need a little motivation to move from A to B. So we apply nose-picking to assist in the excavation.
Most people will use their index fingers or their pinkies to remove Nasallius Snottus Vulgaris, or nasal blockage, as it is sometimes referred to.
However, some abscent minded people will use certain tools. The most common NSV removing tools are:
1. pencils (33% of people have used a pencil)
2. Pens (27% of students sometimes use pens)
3. Knitting needles (45% of nose picking house-wives use them)
4. Screwdrivers (10% of workmen prefer the screwdriver over the index finger)
Nose picking occurs in most everyday settings. The most common place for a man to pick his nose is in the car. The most common place for a women to pick her nose is in somebody elses bathroom or toilet.
Quite often people pick their noses when they think nobody else is looking. This is acceptable.
There are few people who feel they can pick their nose in public. This is not acceptable.
Generally people will play with their snot for an average of 1 minute and 42 seconds. By this time it will have generally turned into spungy snot and is flickable. If it is, it is okay to flick it on these surfaces:
a. The floor of the car
b. The street
c. The living room carpet behind the couch.
It is not acceptable to flick it:
a. onto a window (and car, bus and train windows are no exception)
b. onto the coffee table
c. onto the passenger seat of the car
The attention span of the average nose picker is 2 minutes and 57 seconds. This is quite long! On rare occasions though the pickings may not have turned spungy by this time. Nose pickers tend to panic, for the chances of someone seeing them increases by the second, and they will look around in terror for a place to wipe their slimey snot on (cause you can't flick slime...it's not physically possible).
There are certain places you can wipe slimey snot on:
a. A tissue (this is the preferable option)
b. The back of someone's coat at a football match
c. Under someone elses couch.
There are certain places you should not wipe slimey snot on to:
a. The mirror in the bathroom or the toilet seat
b. Your lover's pillow (they sometimes get switched around)
c. Your hair (this can be quite embarrassing)
And to round off my essay on nose-picking, here's a list of situations in which you should refrain from picking your nose:
a. Holding speaches in front of anyone but friends
b. When on television
c. During job interviews
d. During sex
e. When you've got a bloody nose
Originally posted by shavixmirLMAO 😵 😲 .....because every bit of this is hilariously true....funny post....another rec... 😉
Okay, admittadly, this may not be the most favoured of topics, but I think it is one that we really should explore...
Why?
Because most people do it. And I think there are do's and do not's when it comes to nose picking and i ...[text shortened]... g job interviews
d. During sex
e. When you've got a bloody nose
Originally posted by shavixmirI have NEVER picked my nose... but if I were to do so....
Okay, admittadly, this may not be the most favoured of topics, but I think it is one that we really should explore...
Why?
Because most people do it. And I think there are do's and do not's when it comes to nose picking and i ...[text shortened]... g job interviews
d. During sex
e. When you've got a bloody nose
I would use my pinky. I would always pick in an upward motion, as to scoop any debris from the roof of the nostil in a downward (and outward) motion towards the outside of the nostirl. Going inside towards the bridge of the nose might be painful... I would imagine?!
Anyway, I might hope to have a tissue around... failing that, an napkin... or any scrap of paper that I could throw in the trash. Lets say I couldn't do any of these?!
I MIGHT try and flick it into the trash, the toilet... or even a sink if need be. Out a window, out the door, off the porch, on the sidewalk... somewhere other than my finger, or my body.
Failing all that?!?!?! Geesh!? I guess I might need to wipe this klinging snot on my sock... above the pantline. Where else can it go?
This is all speculation on my part, having NEVER picked my nose.
P
I know this is politically incorrect, but one year I went as a bum for Halloween. Part of my home-made costume was to have a pronounced bugger. Where to get one. Well, I got this sirloin steak and cut of that long piece of fat along the side of it. Then I sauteed it up in a frying pan. Then I pushed it way up my nose so it would stay. It still hung out about a couple of inches past my chin. It was truly disgusting, but for some reason I was not invited to Halloween parties after that.
Originally posted by shavixmirtrue...U deserve a commendation for the shame-proof detailed study of all the aspects of this social impropreity.
Okay, admittadly, this may not be the most favoured of topics, but I think it is one that we really should explore...
Why?
Because most people do it. And I think there are do's and do not's when it comes to nose picking and if nobody is willing to talk about it, then nobody's going to know if it's a do or a don't.
And we're all better of ...[text shortened]... . When on television
c. During job interviews
d. During sex
e. When you've got a bloody nose
However it would not be complete without positive prescriptions in this regard in different social situation. Some years ago I read about this and similar other in abook titled
THE UNBEATABLE CODE
I forget the name of the author or the publisher. That book dealt with positive instructions on dealing with snots, farts, incontinence i.e. involuntary discharge of urine etc. in all sorts of social , formal and informal situations and come out a winner from all embarrassing situations. We all face them but do not talk it out.
Once I went to talk to a professor during the break in a three hour class. He called me into his office and as I stood there talking to him, he pulled a sheet of paper from the trash and proceeded to empty his very full nose one nostril at a time onto the paper in front of me.
I stood there with my mouth open and completely forgot what I was talking about. I muttered something vague and left the room.
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlSounds like he cleaned a couple orifices and the office.
Once I went to talk to a professor during the break in a three hour class. He called me into his office and as I stood there talking to him, he pulled a sheet of paper from the trash and proceeded to empty his very full nose one nostril at a time onto the paper in front of me.
I stood there with my mouth open and completely forgot what I was talking about. I muttered something vague and left the room.
P
Originally posted by shavixmirI have come to an amazing discovery!
1. Watery snot.
This is the sort of snot we encounter on the faces of ice-hockey players and professional ice-skaters. It sort of drips out of the nose and freezes in one's beard. It's not very good for picking, but can sometimes be f ...[text shortened]... can roll into a ball and flick around a friend's living room.
There is a fourth catagory of snot! Well, maybe it's a sub-catagory, but it's a "species, if you will" which has not yet been declared.
Let me explain:
I was blowing my nose this morning, well, actually I was pressing the left nostril closed and was blowing extremely hard through my right nostril.
The reason for this was that I had one of those deep-snots. You know, the snot which is embedded somewhere up your nasal passage, but no amount of excavation can reach it? Well, it was seriously starting to get on my tits. It was like a sheet flapping about in the wind, but you just can't reach it...
Let me explain a bit more:
So, I blow really hard and a massive chunk of snot came roaring down my nose tube and was so heavy it nearly ripped through my paper hanky! Nearly seriously!
At first I presumed it was just a large snot ball, but after careful study, vigorous inspection and systematic dissection, I can but come to one conclusion: It's a fourth sort of snot.
The lost snot of nasal canyon, if you are to believe the myths!
I am uncertain how to classify it properly though. It looks like a large snot ball, but it's not spongy. It's large, hard and quite squarish. Aprox. 7mm x 5mm x 4mm. It's bloody amazing it ever actually got up my nose in the first place. It defies all laws of gravity or I was sleeping on my head.
I will keep you updated on continued study into chunky snot. I'm thinking of giving it a Latin name: Snotti clottus solides.
EDIT: chose a better segment of the previous message to quote