There was a pirate ship and captain Black Toes was in charge. One day while at sea, his 2nd in charge came over to him and said " captain captain, there is another pirate ship out there what do you want us to do?"
Black Toes replies. " Jimbo, get me my red shirt" so jimbo fetches his red shirt and black toes puts it on and they fight for hours and win a fantastic arduous battle. Exahusted they all sit down and enjoy a wonderful meal together celebrating their victory. One of the men says how wonderful it was they won but wanted to know why Black Toes wore the red shirt.
Black Toes replies," well if i had of kept my shirt on and was stabbed or shot the blood would of shown up and you would of been affraid and start to panic and loose the battle, but because it was red you continued to fight." "ahhh Yes very good they reply"
A few weeks later they are at sea again, and Jimbo approaches Black Toes. "Sir, there is 10 pirate ships gathering towards us, what shall we do"
Black Toes replies," Jimbo, get me my brown pants."!!!!
Originally posted by shavixmirLOL! That's my favorite one. OK, I guess I'll have to settle for second best:
There was a pirate ship and captain Black Toes was in charge. One day while at sea, his 2nd in charge came over to him and said " captain captain, there is another pirate ship out there what do you want us to do?"
Black Toes replies. " Jimbo, get me my red shirt" so jimbo fetches his red shirt and black toes puts it on and they fight for hours and win ...[text shortened]... hering towards us, what shall we do"
Black Toes replies," Jimbo, get me my brown pants."!!!!
A pirate in need of some company goes down to the local pet shop to look for a suitable companion. When he gets there, he sees a parrot sitting in a cage with a big "SALE!" sign hanging on it. "Aha!" thinks the pirate, "a parrot is the perfect pet for a pirate like me!" and slams down his cash. The store owner says to the pirate "don't you want to know why it's on sale?" but the pirate shouts "pipe down, yer yella-bellied shop keep!! Don't bother to wrap it, I'll wear it out!", grabs the parrot and sits him on his shoulder.
But once the pirate got home, the parrot started to fly around the room shouting obscenities! And not one rhyming alliterated obscenity in the bunch! Horrified, the pirate yelled at the parrot "yer scurvy sea-slug! Pipe down or I'll have yer quartered and buttered!" but the parrot continued to fly around the room screeching swears at the top of its lungs. "Alright, yer curmudgeonly crab-crawler, it's the box fer ya!" the pirate yelled, grabbing hold of the parrot and throwing him into the cupboard. The racket the parrot made as it scratched and screeched and bump and bang inside the cupboard was unbearable, until the pirate was forced to open the door.
"Avast, yer filthy-feathered, feline-foddered fink! I've got something that will cool ya off!" and grabbing the parrot, shoved him into the freezer. For a solid minute, the parrot sqwauked and scraped and screamed inside the freezer, but suddenly went dead silent.
Fearing a ruse, the pirate keep the door shut for another minute, but then he began to worry that he might have killed his new pet by mistake. Slowly, he opened the freezer door, and the parrot hopped out quietly and jumped on the pirate's shoulder. "Learned yer lesson, did ya, ya cantankerous cracker-crunching creature?" asked the pirate and the parrot replied "aye sir <squawk>! It'll never happen again sir <squawk>! By the way, what did the chicken do?!?"
Originally posted by shavixmirDamn you! I saw this thread, knew the perfect joke, and you took it. I guess that's the way my life always is. God must hate me.
This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the pirate says...
"Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!"
Alright, these aren't pirate jokes. But please support me, as I'm in a serious depression since finding out that my joke has been taken, and the only thing to do is to tell a joke. I'm on the verge of suicide if you don't listen to me. I could easily come up with an AR joke, but that's also been taken too. Why god, why? So prepare to hear some of the worst jokes ever.
What did the corn say when he got lost?
Shucks
What did the singer name his son?
Mike
What did the CD player name his son?
Skip
And one of my own creation. I'm as far as I know, the only one who knows this joke besides for my closest friends. Here it goes.
What did the farmer say to his son when he did a cool skateboard trick?
Crops
Originally posted by ark13Please kill yourself. Slowly.
Alright, these aren't pirate jokes. But please support me, as I'm in a serious depression since finding out that my joke has been taken, and the only thing to do is to tell a joke. I'm on the verge of suicide if you don't listen to me. I could easily come up with an AR joke, but that's also been taken too. Why god, why? So prepare to hear some of the ...[text shortened]... ere it goes.
What did the farmer say to his son when he did a cool skateboard trick?
Crops
Originally posted by ark13I'd rather have bamboo shoots stuck under my finger nails, you sadists!!!
They are pretty painful, huh?
Q: What's a pirate's favorite pattern?
A: Aaaaaarrrrrrrgyle.
Q: What did the pirate name his son?
A: Aaaaaaart.
Q: Where did the pirate post his messed-up picture?
A: FAaaaaaaaaaaRQ.
OK, that last one wasn't even remotely funny, but I'm pulling a shav. I'm drunk!!!
😕