For those who don't know, I have 3 children. All girls. Unfortunately they live with they're mother.
They're mother has recently lost her husband to another woman (sort of makes me feel good as that is how I lost her). In the process hasn't been able to pay all of her bills, and has lost her phone.
What this is leading to is this. She had recent;y moved about 60 miles away, and I have no address for her. With no way to call her either, it has made it impossible for me to see my own children for a period of 2 months now.
I am about to embark upon tracking her down, and making her set up a better arrangement than the one that is upon me at the moment. After all I really do love and miss my daughters.
I have 2 ways to approach this once I find her. 1) I could force her into court and go after custody of my children. Thusly making myself into the potential bad guy, possibly even to my own kids, or 2) attempt to get her phone turned back on, making myself into a hero with her and my kids, but quite possibly irritating my wife. I know my wife will understand the purpose behind doing this, and will support the decision, but will be irritated just the same.
Now I know that tracking her down won't be easy and needs to be done first, but I am not certain as to which way I should handle the rest. Any suggestions at this point would be nice, but I prefer serious input only, as this is very serious.
Thanks for reading
KJ
Originally posted by KJCavalierNo, I meant rebuild the terms of your acquaintance. She is far more likely to grant access without the trauma of a court process, if you percivere in showing her that you can remain mtature adults and perhaps even eventually friends, is she not?
Rebuild what? A new family? That is far easier said than done. I can't give up on my kids. It hurts to much!
Originally posted by StarrmanAnother easier said than done idea. Something I continue to strive to do, and have done, but with her it truly is a case of her first and screw everybody else. I can show generousity, and she will exploit it to the fullest.
No, I meant rebuild the terms of your acquaintance. She is far more likely to grant access without the trauma of a court process, if you percivere in showing her that you can remain mtature adults and perhaps even eventually friends, is she not?
Sadly that is still the way I am leaning to go with this though.
Originally posted by KJCavalierDon't know how these things work but can't the police/courts/social services track her down on your behalf, given that custody appears unresolved?
For those who don't know, I have 3 children. All girls. Unfortunately they live with they're mother.
They're mother has recently lost her husband to another woman (sort of makes me feel good as that is how I lost her). In the process hasn't been able to pay all of her bills, and has lost her phone.
What this is leading to is this. She had recent ...[text shortened]... be nice, but I prefer serious input only, as this is very serious.
Thanks for reading
KJ
Originally posted by catfoodtimthanks catfoodtim
it's a sorry state of affairs. sadly, whatever you do you can't win.
so, do what's best for your daughters and don't worry about points, winning or coming out on top. it's a big person who can swallow their pride.
all easier said than done, i suspect.
i suppose the day will come sooner rather than later when your girls will be old enough l ...[text shortened]... th.
for what it's worth, i hope you get to see them soon.
edit: sorry for the platitudes.
Originally posted by KJCavalierNo hero. No irritant. Selfishness is the only way to go.
2) attempt to get her phone turned back on, making myself into a hero with her and my kids, but quite possibly irritating my wife. I know my wife will understand the purpose behind doing this, and will support the decision, but will be irritated just the same.
Get her a phone and pay for it yourself. Have the bill sent to you. Small price to pay - you won't miss the money. You need the girls to be able to call you whenever they need to. Whenever. That is what fathers of daughters do.
