I was fumbling about and accidently stumbled across the Red Hot Pawn Store...
I didn't know it existed! I do remember posting something about it...very vaguely...a long time ago...I must have supressed it though...or maybe months of hypnotherapy managed to scrape it like an unwanted foetus out of the womb of my mind...(that's a little joke for Ivanhoe, by the way).
Anyway...let's have a look what's on offer:
Red Hot Pawn boxer shorts
I remember writing an article for RHP in which I was giving young men advice on how to seduce women and make a good impression.
Did I mention RHP boxer shorts? No.
Go figure!
The Red Hot Pawn wall clock
Admittadly you could give it to a mother in law. But, let's be honest, unless you're evil, wicked and conservative, there's no way you would buy it. It's like...well...tacky....
The Red Hot Pawn lunch box
You could give it to your kid...if you want him beat up every lunch break!
Or maybe this is for grown ups? I can just see myself walking down the street proudly showing off my BRIGHT WHITE lunch box...
Yes. A good idea. If you want to walk down the street admiring all the people slowly shaking their heads as you walk by.
The Red Hot Pawn UFO
What in Bob's (Dylan) name is a flying disc? A frisbee?
Anyway, it looks more like a coffee mug placemat that's been photographed upside down...
See! There's no foolin' me! I know about these things!
The Red Hot Pawn fibre cap
You can call it 'The red hot pawn fibre chick-magnet, cool as hell cap' for all I care...it still is going to end up with Bob or Billy-Joe going to work and having the piss withdrawn from them like an enema withdraws faeces resin...
Can I say that? Well...I just did, so obviously...I can....
Red Hot Pawn car stickers
There's nothing like car stickers to ensure road rage upon yourself. I have to give RHP one thing: It's not as bad as a 'baby on board' sticker. It is, however, up there with the 'I break for animals' and the 'Don't blame me, I voted Tory' stickers.
Right.
It's all fair and well felling critisism like Pontious Pilot, but it's time to get the hands out of the dish washer and propose:
The list of RHP merchandising that we DO want to see!
The red hot pawn chess set.
Okay, I may be out on a limb and a half bottle of whisky here (whisky with an e is Irish, without an e it's Scottish, by the way)...but...wouldn't it be cool to have a chess set from your favourite chess site at home? So that if friends pop by, you can cart it from beside your computer and play them?
I propose every figure being different! Each pawn from the same army, but in different poses.
Yet...it would be expensive...but it would be OH SO BLOODY COOL!
The Red Hot Pawn funny condom set
Nothing would be more impressive than sliding on a condom with a knight or a rook on the end.
I mean...if we're gonna go fetish...let's go all the way!
The Red Hot Pawn lava lamp
Yes! A lava lamp in the shape of a pawn. Simple, energetic and exclusive to members of this site! The show-piece of every living room.
Red Hot Pawn sweets
A box of Red Hot Pawn chocolats. All of them designed like the red hot pawn logo. All of them very hot like fillings: Cinnemon, peppers, strong mint and arsnic...just in case you get a tory over for high tea.
The Red Hot Pawn Top Seventeen
That's right. Red Hot Pawn holds a competition on the General forum and everyone can write their top 10 songs. The 17 (that's the average amount of songs which fit on a 73 minute CD by the way) most chosen songs get burned on a CD and people can order it along with an other item, or receive it free or what-ever...
EDIT: Sorry, had problems with my italics and bols statements for some reason, it took a few edits to straighten it out.
OKAY...and a few spelling mistakes...
okay shav...the chess pieces could be characatures from the players here on rhp...maybe you could request your own unique chess set. black king ivanhoe, white king bbar you get the picture...actually you would need players pictures to do this.
also a book of quotes from the forums...if nothing else it would be a good toilet read
Originally posted by wucky3This is the best idea I've heard in the last half hour. I'm sure I speak for Ivanhoe when I say "Make it so!". Of course, as the local representative of the Culture of Death, it is only fitting that I be the Black King. Besides, I've got way more funk and rhythm than Ivanhoe. Whatever the case, make sure that pcaspian isn't either side's Queen. 😉
...the chess pieces could be characatures from the players here on rhp...maybe you could request your own unique chess set. black king ivanhoe, white king bbar you get the picture...
an "RHP Screen Blind"....
It's a thin filament that you attach to your monitor. When looking at the monitor from an angle (say, from just outside your cubicle, for example), you see a generic image of an open MS Word file... but if you're looking directly at the monitor, you can see the RHP site open underneath the blind.
Just a thought.
Originally posted by bbarrHell yeah!
This is the best idea I've heard in the last half hour. I'm sure I speak for Ivanhoe when I say "Make it so!". Of course, as the local representative of the Culture of Death, it is only fitting that I be the Black King. Besides, I've got way more funk and rhythm than Ivanhoe. Whatever the case, make sure that pcaspian isn't either side's Queen. 😉
chancremechanic and Slimjim could be black knights!
Star Valley Way could be the black queen dressed in red, white and blue!
Obviously Ivanhoe and Pradtf would be better suited in white with little halo's hovering above them...
You could have various pawns with different charictaristic faces on them:
BBar a pawn in the shape of 'the thinker'
Me a pawn in the shape of 'the scream'
And Blobby a pawn in the shape of a roundish pawn, stumbling over his own comments...
It's a winner for sure!
Originally posted by Decanterthat would be cool
an "RHP Screen Blind"....
It's a thin filament that you attach to your monitor. When looking at the monitor from an angle (say, from just outside your cubicle, for example), you see a generic image of an open MS Word file... but if you're looking directly at the monitor, you can see the RHP site open underneath the blind.
Just a thought.
Originally posted by shavixmirokay...lets do it shav...60/40..my idea lol
Hell yeah!
chancremechanic and Slimjim could be black knights!
Star Valley Way could be the black queen dressed in red, white and blue!
Obviously Ivanhoe and Pradtf would be better suited in white with little halo's hovering above them...
You could have various pawns with different charictaristic faces on them:
BBar a pawn in the shape of 't ...[text shortened]... in the shape of a roundish pawn, stumbling over his own comments...
It's a winner for sure!