In case you haven't seen these before...
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want.
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think your butt is fat, it probably is. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
All real men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If you want a guy that sees colours like you do, then pick a gay guy. that's why they are interior decorators.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want answered, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, golf, hunting or camping.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Originally posted by asromacalcioguys, if you wonder why you aren't getting any, read the above text.
In case you haven't seen these before...
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport.
And n nough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Originally posted by asromacalcioFOR THOSE WOMEN IN RHP,DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING THE SAME FOR WOMEN? I WOULD LOVE TO READ THAT LIST AS WELL.
In case you haven't seen these before...
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport.
And n ...[text shortened]... nough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Originally posted by gollumprawnIn Case you men haven't notice: We woman are different.
FOR THOSE WOMEN IN RHP,DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING THE SAME FOR WOMEN? I WOULD LOVE TO READ THAT LIST AS WELL.
We are from a different sub-species.
Allthough the intellegent ones among us can figure out the workings of a toilet seat, we are not programmed to actually operate this clever human invention, for we are scared of the consequenses should the working operation fail.
We divide all the colours into sub categories to try and get an edge above each other in over tea gossip sessions.
When we ask questions about our butts, it is not because we do not know that it is fat- we simply need to build up courage for parading that fat butt in public in a cruel, butt watching society.
When we lose any form of argument we cry, -not that we allways want to, but that is the way we done it since the beginning of time, and we dot know how to operate differently.
We talk about shopping, clothes and sometimes music, but sport is a bit above our level of understanding.
We WILL talk only during the sport programme, because we use the commercial brakes to formulate our ideas.
Allthough you men think you are better than us, you still need us, and next time before you shoot one of us down, think about a world without women.
Originally posted by MCANormally when I mildly upset the wife, she nags and complains for days. Other times, when I REALLY annoy her, she refuses to talk to me for days - I find the extra effort worth it!
very quiet and peacefull - god what a great idea
[edit: ok i know i would then have to go without sex, but it would be worth it for the PnQ]
(can you tell im married?)
😀