It is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldo looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldo goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.
After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldo 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldo 10 minutes) - Scotland 1 (Angus 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes" 😀
*Obviously the Brazillian Ronaldo.
Originally posted by Dr Strangeloveyes ive seen that afore,
It is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldo looks ...[text shortened]... after 12 minutes" 😀
*Obviously the Brazillian Ronaldo.
anyways dr.stranglove, ive actually got 2 tickets for the world cup final, corporate hospitality and all expenses paid, on sunday. i can take 2 mates.
if you're not doing anything can you take my bin out on monday?
Originally posted by chris stephensI'm a friend.
yes ive seen that afore,
anyways dr.stranglove, ive actually got 2 tickets for the world cup final, corporate hospitality and all expenses paid, on sunday. i can take 2 mates.
if you're not doing anything can you take my bin out on monday?
The r is optional, though.
So the animals were playing the insects in the final, and the earwig (number 20) was on the sub's bench tying on his shoes before coming on as a sub. As he walks towards the pitch, he notices that the "2" has come off the back of his shirt, but he doesn't have time to do anything about it as his side are 3-0 down and there's only 7 minutes left to play. Anyhow, his fresh legs soon revitalise the team, he gets into position and heads the ball in, YEAH, GOAL!!!!!!!
2 minutes later, he runs down the left wing, but there's no one to take his pass, so he shoots from 35 yards out and GOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!!! The rest of his team are really tired now, so he just puts his head down and does what has to be done, dribbles past 4 defeners and neatly tucks the ball in the bottom left hand corner EASY!!!!!
So, all level, 10 seconds left to play, he tackles and wins the ball at the half way line and just wellies it, over all the heads of the opposition and even theough the goalie jumps, the ball goes sailing past him into the net YEAH, GOAL!!!!!!!
Well, the final whistle blows, and they're all cheering, but the earwig slowly walks back to the showers... The team manager and captain and all the other players find him crying, so they ask him what happened.
"My number fell off, no one knows who I am..."
Yes the do, listen:"
And he hears from the stadium, 120,000 voices shouting...
"Earwig O, Earwig O, Earwig O,
Earwig O, Earwig O, Earwig O-oh..."
Originally posted by 747skyjockThat is a bad football joke 😞
So the animals were playing the insects in the final, and the earwig (number 20) was on the sub's bench tying on his shoes before coming on as a sub. As he walks towards the pitch, he notices that the "2" has come off the back of his shirt, but he doesn't have time to do anything about it as his side are 3-0 down and there's only 7 minutes left to play. A ...[text shortened]...
"Earwig O, Earwig O, Earwig O,
Earwig O, Earwig O, Earwig O-oh..."
Originally posted by chris stephensNo thanks, I'm going to see a production at the Royal School of Ballet - to see how it's done properly. 😉
yes ive seen that afore,
anyways dr.stranglove, ive actually got 2 tickets for the world cup final, corporate hospitality and all expenses paid, on sunday. i can take 2 mates.
if you're not doing anything can you take my bin out on monday?
Originally posted by Dr StrangeloveFunny. Was wondering what the punch line would be, good one.
It is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldo looks ...[text shortened]... after 12 minutes" 😀
*Obviously the Brazillian Ronaldo.
Originally posted by Dr StrangeloveSo, we were lucky...
It is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldo looks ...[text shortened]... after 12 minutes" 😀
*Obviously the Brazillian Ronaldo.
Originally posted by Dr StrangeloveActually, I first heard that as an England v Brazil joke, honestly.
It is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.
Anyhoo, to redress the balance in the name of FIFA fair play...
Two weeks ago:
David Beckham is training really hard over in the wee town of Pillowmunchen, where the England players are camped (and I mean camped). He's working uncharacteristically hard, and really gives it his all to prove he's a worthy captain for the side.
After training, knowing the chef's on his night off, and not fancying Victoria's cooking, he decides to break his dietary regime and have some fast food. Indeed, he could murder a hamburger, and capitalism being the way it is, he walks out into the main street, and there before him is a Burger King.
He walks through the door to the spotty German teen behind the counter, and asks in his best Essex accent:
'Could I please have a Double Whopper with cheese?'
And the lad replies:
'Ya, certainly:
Mr Beckham, truly vorld-class player zat you are, you are ze rock upon vich your team ees built,
unt you are definitely not ze big sissy noofter mit ze girly knickers,' and hands him a slice of Edam.