Sheffield: no teeth, no dentists. Which first?

Sheffield: no teeth, no dentists. Which first?

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Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

Joined
01 Jan 06
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33672
10 Jul 09

So, thanks to Sicilian Smaug's insight and divegester's observations, a difficult matter was raised in another thread.

There are no dentists in Sheffield. The question is: are there no dentists because there are no teeth to take care of, or the lack of teeth of the people of Sheffield is due to the lack of dentists?

Your insight on the matter is highly appreciated.

Debate!

ENGLAND

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117642
10 Jul 09

May I explain the history:

Sheffield, in ancient times (around the time of Robin Hood for example) was where all the rich people lived. All the rich people decided that they didn't like the poor people very much because they smelt bad and had no money. So they decided to use their 'expenses' money to build a moat around Sheffield to keep the poor people out (this is a practice still in place today by rich people - such as UK politicians).

This was an extremely effective way of segregating themselves from the rest of the UK who were predominantly poor; but unfortunately was also an effective way of constricting their gene pool. Consequently over the centuries the rich people of Sheffield became so genetically differentiated that reintegration with the rest of the UK poor population became impossible.

They also found it increasingly difficult to obtain food and nourishing vegetables in particular were very rare. However one inhabitant and leader of Sheffield came up with solution of liquefying their own dead and sucking them up through their newly formed tubular and hairy mouthparts. And so began a long decline into cannibalism and murder.

Eventually their community collapsed and the poor people burnt the old town to the ground and built new Temple in its place called Meadowhall Shopping Centre. This was a strategic move to get the UK population to visit the condemned area and begin interbreeding. It was brilliantly successful and today Sheffield stands proud of its old heritage in the new light of capitalism and Maccy Dees.

However the old recessive genes continue to surface and many local people find themselves inexplicably without teeth and forced to live a life of slobbery and McFlurries.

It's a sad but true warning to us all that the expenses process should not be abused.

Zellulärer Automat

Spiel des Lebens

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10 Jul 09

Sheffield is where knackered teeth go to die.

Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

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01 Jan 06
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10 Jul 09

Simply great, Divegeester.

Do you mind if I borrow the term "Tubular and Hairy Mouthparts", coined by you, for one of the new songs of my blues band?

z
Thread Killing Chimp

In your retina!:D

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10 Jul 09

Originally posted by divegeester
May I explain the history:

Sheffield, in ancient times (around the time of Robin Hood for example) was where all the rich people lived. All the rich people decided that they didn't like the poor people very much because they smelt bad and had no money. So they decided to use their 'expenses' money to build a moat around Sheffield to keep the poor ...[text shortened]... .

It's a sad but true warning to us all that the expenses process should not be abused.
Interesting story!

Im just wondering what the evolutionary selection pressure was for these "newly formed tubular and hairy mouthparts"?
Wouldnt it make more sense if this leader of Sheffield came with this idea before the mouthparts were formed. People with these mouthparts, or with the first stages of these mouthparts would have more advantage since they could drink more liquefyed dead.

Also, at first you say that "reintegration with the rest of the UK poor population became impossible."
But after they built a Temple the "UK population to visit the condemned area and begin interbreeding.".
Isnt that a bit contradicting with eachother?

anybody seen my

underpants??

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10 Jul 09

Originally posted by divegeester
May I explain the history:

Sheffield, in ancient times (around the time of Robin Hood for example) was where all the rich people lived. All the rich people decided that they didn't like the poor people very much because they smelt bad and had no money. So they decided to use their 'expenses' money to build a moat around Sheffield to keep the poor ...[text shortened]... .

It's a sad but true warning to us all that the expenses process should not be abused.
rec worthy😉

S
🙏🏻

Some other realm

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25534
10 Jul 09

Originally posted by divegeester
May I explain the history:

Sheffield, in ancient times (around the time of Robin Hood for example) was where all the rich people lived. All the rich people decided that they didn't like the poor people very much because they smelt bad and had no money. So they decided to use their 'expenses' money to build a moat around Sheffield to keep the poor ...[text shortened]... .

It's a sad but true warning to us all that the expenses process should not be abused.
LOL, nice.

P
Bananarama

False berry

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28719
10 Jul 09

Originally posted by zozozozo
Interesting story!

Im just wondering what the evolutionary selection pressure was for these "newly formed tubular and hairy mouthparts"?
Wouldnt it make more sense if this leader of Sheffield came with this idea before the mouthparts were formed. People with these mouthparts, or with the first stages of these mouthparts would have more advantage since t ...[text shortened]... e condemned area and begin interbreeding.".
Isnt that a bit contradicting with eachother?
Quiet! This is HISTORY!!!~`

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10 Jul 09

How am I supposed to eat my dad anyway, considering that I have no teeth? 😕

SS

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10 Jul 09

Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

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10 Jul 09

Through your tubular and hairless mouthpiece.

ENGLAND

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10 Jul 09
1 edit

Wow 5 recs for that crock of crap, I've been trying too hard! Thanks folks.

Seitse, you can use "tubular and hairy mouthpiece" wherever you see fit, as long as you either credit me or send your girlfriend round in stockings and with a big pack of chili nachos.

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10 Jul 09

Originally posted by divegeester
Wow 5 recs for that crock of crap, I've been trying too hard! Thanks folks.

Seitse, you can use "tubular and hairy mouthpiece" wherever you see fit, as long as you either credit me or send your girlfriend round in stockings and with a big pack of chili nachos.
click on the recommended posts, they're all crap.

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

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10 Jul 09

Originally posted by trev33
click on the recommended posts, they're all crap.
09 Jul '09 18:15 :: 5 recommendations
or just

'idiots are lurking, be aware'


The aforementioned is a pretty good one. 😉

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

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10 Jul 09

Originally posted by Very Rusty
09 Jul '09 18:15 :: 5 recommendations
or just

'idiots are lurking, be aware'


The aforementioned is a pretty good one. 😉
irony,
delicious irony...
if it were sound,
it'd be a cacophony...


rookie