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General Forum

  1. PFJ Judea AD33
    Joined
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    28 Mar '20 13:102 edits
    Yesterday my missus wanted to discuss mutual superpowers. She said that if she had a superpower it would be the ability to converse with all animals. I contended that all superpowers were pointless because they allowed the owner to access a existential dynamic whereby life would be massively impinged or even extinguished.

    Conversing with animals would be wonderful she persisted, describing to me how she would use her power to ask the spiders in the home not to terrorise her by running around etc.

    Resisting the urge to [FACE-PALM] I explained to her that spiders run like that from sheltered space to sheltered space to avoid birds attacking them. She contested that there were no birds in the house [FACE-PALM] and that she would explain this to the spider. I asked “every spider”. PAUSE. “Yes”. So your life is effectively over as you know it...? As you will spend every waking hour explaining to all manner of spiders that their innate urge to run through open spaces which has been honed over millions of years of evolution is in fact not required. PAUSE.....

    I then went on to describe how she would also have to get dragged in other bug politics like being accused of genocide. “HOW?” She squawked, alarmingly like a crow now I come to think of it. Well all the ant killer you use in the garden - genocide - and YOU would be accountable to the ants directly. And with that, that was that in terms of conversing with animals.

    My wife said ok what about you wanting to travel in time? Well I explained that that was a pointless superpower without the associated superpower of space travel. Because if I wanted to travel back to before COVID-19 for a beer in the pub, then I would find that the pub was no longer where I thought it was, but millions of miles away on its prior orbit around the sun along with the entire earth. So I would die and awful death in space, alone, cold and with boiling blood.

    She just looked at me and said “this is going to be a long lock in”
  2. Standard memberFMF
    Studying God figures
    Human Condition East
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    28 Mar '20 13:16
    @divegeester said
    Conversing with animals would be wonderful she persisted, describing to me how she would use her power to ask the spiders in the home not to terrorise her by running around etc. Resisting the urge to [FACE-PALM] I explained to her that spiders run like that from sheltered space to sheltered space to avoid birds attacking them.
    Sounds like she should have a word with those birds.
  3. Joined
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    28 Mar '20 13:44
    @fmf said
    Sounds like she should have a word with those birds.
    But wouldn't they (the birds) complain about cats?
  4. Standard memberFMF
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    28 Mar '20 14:12
    @great-big-stees said
    But wouldn't they (the birds) complain about cats?
    But we don't need a superpower, per se, to converse with cats.
  5. Subscriberrookie54online
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
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    28 Mar '20 14:18
    @divegeester

    to be the fly on the wall
    conversing with divvy's squeeze
    laughing at spider nonsense
    and plotting to make divvy sneeze


    my superpower is a four hour erection and it does have a point
  6. PFJ Judea AD33
    Joined
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    28 Mar '20 14:24
    @rookie54 said
    @divegeester
    my superpower is a four hour erection and it does have a point
    3 hours 57 minutes of waste 😝
  7. Standard memberFMF
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    28 Mar '20 14:27
    @divegeester said
    3 hours 57 minutes of waste 😝
    I would love a superpower that enabled me to spar with myself on message boards like this.
  8. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
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    28 Mar '20 14:31
    @divegeester said
    3 hours 57 minutes of waste 😝
    LOL....Now that was funny!

    -VR
  9. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
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    28 Mar '20 14:32
    @divegeester said
    Yesterday my missus wanted to discuss mutual superpowers. She said that if she had a superpower it would be the ability to converse with all animals. I contended that all superpowers were pointless because they allowed the owner to access a existential dynamic whereby life would be massively impinged or even extinguished.

    Conversing with animals would be wonderful she ...[text shortened]... cold and with boiling blood.

    She just looked at me and said “this is going to be a long lock in”
    Sounds like an involved conversation. So did you have to sleep on the coach? 😉

    -VR
  10. YNWA
    Joined
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    28 Mar '20 14:34
    @fmf said
    I would love a superpower that enabled me to spar with myself on message boards like this.
    Try for it, what do you most disagree with yourself about?
  11. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
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    28 Mar '20 14:351 edit
    @petewxyz said
    Try for it, what do you most disagree with yourself about?
    I believe he said spar with himself on message boards like this! 😉

    -VR
  12. Subscriberrookie54online
    free tazer tickles..
    wildly content...
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    28 Mar '20 14:38
    @very-rusty said
    I believe he said spar with himself on message boards like this! 😉

    -VR
    not even a black hole has the density you display
  13. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
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    28 Mar '20 14:45
    @rookie54 said
    not even a black hole has the density you display
    Just take a look in the mirror and you'll see it! 😛

    -VR
  14. Standard memberFMF
    Studying God figures
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    28 Mar '20 14:45
    @petewxyz said
    Try for it, what do you most disagree with yourself about?
    The whole issue of whether to have a THIRD cup of coffee in the morning or whether to shift to drinking water.
  15. Standard memberFMF
    Studying God figures
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    28 Mar '20 14:46
    @very-rusty said
    I believe he said spar with himself on message boards like this! 😉

    -VR
    Whoosh.
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