Go back
The Dangers of Bread

The Dangers of Bread

General

O
Digital Blasphemy

Omnipresent

Joined
16 Feb 03
Moves
21533
Clock
06 Oct 05
2 edits
Vote Up
Vote Down

I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice.........

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming
households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in
the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years;
infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died
in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within
24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance
called "dough." It has been '
proven that as little as one
pound of dough can be used to
suffocate a mouse. The
average American eats more
bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that
have no bread exhibit a low
incidence of cancer,
Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease,
and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of
bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as
little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to
"harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even
cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is
more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could
lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food
product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at
temperatures as high
as 400 degrees
Fahrenheit! That kind
of heat can kill an
adult in less than
one minute.


12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish
between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical
babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, I propose the following
bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity
TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the
societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any
primary colors (which may appeal to
children) may be used to promote
bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free"
zones around schools.

zeeblebot

silicon valley

Joined
27 Oct 04
Moves
101289
Clock
06 Oct 05
Vote Up
Vote Down

i think this belongs in the debates forum.

with a thread title in all caps.

Wildfire
Force of Nature

The Bathroom

Joined
12 May 05
Moves
31388
Clock
06 Oct 05
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Omnislash
I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice.........

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming
households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in
the home, ...[text shortened]... used to promote
bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free"
zones around schools.
LOL! Who knew bread could be such a killer? I'm glad you revealed the truth...

O
Digital Blasphemy

Omnipresent

Joined
16 Feb 03
Moves
21533
Clock
06 Oct 05
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by zeeblebot
i think this belongs in the debates forum.

with a thread title in all caps.
Your wish is my command. 😀

MCA
TokerSmurf

Bonnie Scotland

Joined
16 Jun 04
Moves
15683
Clock
06 Oct 05
Vote Up
Vote Down

And thats not all:

Pillsbury Dough-Boy Wanted for Attempted Murder.

A woman named Linda went to Arkansas to visit her in-laws, and while there, she went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping.

When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. She looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you okay?"

The woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains in."

Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store where store officials called the paramedics.

They had to break into the car because the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had nothing but bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head.

When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at first, then attempted to hold her brain in!

b

Joined
03 Oct 05
Moves
1434
Clock
06 Oct 05
Vote Up
Vote Down

Oh Sh#t dude, i could kill for a muderfudin french baguet right about now. Wanna knock over the 7/11?

f
Quack Quack Quack !

Chesstralia

Joined
18 Aug 03
Moves
54533
Clock
06 Oct 05
1 edit
Vote Up
Vote Down

from http://seven.com.au/todaytonight/story/?id=24372

Bread brats
REPORTER: Sophie Hull
BROADCAST DATE: August 30, 2005

An anti-mould additive found in some popular breads might be causing children to behave badly, according to parents and an Australian researcher.

Belinda Egan and David Mose tried many ways to help their son Jonathan overcome behavioural problems. He was restless, irritable and under-performed at school.

Eventually Jonathan's parents found the answer where they least expected: in his daily bread.

"We didn't know it was the bread obviously, but we just knew we had this child who was just so irritable so unhappy and so restless, just to a maddening extent," Belinda said.

She said the problem was not bread in general, just bread containing an additive called calcium propionate, listed as 282 on bread labels. Additive 282 was used to prevent the growth of mould on bread.

It was found in certain breads sold in the supermarket, along with some other bakery items, such as muffins and crumpets.

[Related story: Living in fear of children]

When Jonathan's parents stopped giving him bread containing the additive, they were amazed at the difference.

"David literally came out of his bedroom the first morning we stopped using 282 and he went ‘is he still here?'," Belinda said. "Because he wasn't bouncing off the walls."

Sue Dengate has campaigned for the removal of 282 from bread for 15 years, after noticing the terrible effects it had on her own daughter.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw the effects on my own daughter, that anything could change her so dramatically in the period of a week," Ms Dengate said. "But when I rang the food authorities, they just didn't want to know."

Ms Dengate, a scientist, decided to research calcium propionate and was shocked at her findings. She said the additive was not needed in food and was used as a mould inhibitor.

buffalobill
Major Bone

On yer tail ...

Joined
28 Feb 05
Moves
16686
Clock
06 Oct 05
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Omnislash


11. Bread is baked at
temperatures as high
as 400 degrees
Fahrenheit! That kind
of heat can kill an
adult in less than
one minute.
Which is why I prefer to take my bread in liquid form. Can't be too safe, you know!

U
All Bark, No Bite

Playing percussion

Joined
13 Jul 05
Moves
13279
Clock
06 Oct 05
1 edit
Vote Up
Vote Down

Hi, my name is Jon and I've been a bread user for as long as I can remember.
Back in grade school I used to go in the cafeteria and do bread every day, often with both peanut butter AND jelly. Everyone else was doing it.
I've been trying to get clean for a while now, but I just get this pain in my stomach and only bread sets me free.

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.