A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my p3n1s and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks
Grandad and grandson are on the way home from market, on a bus passing a field. Grandson sees a Stallion mounting his lass.
"Look, look Grandad, what's going on there?"
"Well errmmm, (chokes), eeermmm, well you see that big horse has gone an' broken his big leg, and that little horse is trying to take him to hospital."
Grandson says, "Typical that, isn't it Grandad? You go to try to help somebody and they always end up trying to f+k you!" 😉