The Old Folks Home

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Thanks for your honesty.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

I will have to postpone that kind of predicament for about 10 years - my daughters are too busy to take care of me, and as Drew says, we don't want to be dependent on our children.

I could not abide my parents going to an old folks home. They live not very far from me which I planned deliberately for this very reason. If any of them need constant care they will come and live with me and my family. They are under no circumstances going into an old folks home. I could not live with myself.

Originally posted by lolof
I will have to postpone that kind of predicament for about 10 years - my daughters are too busy to take care of me, and as Drew says, we don't want to be dependent on our children.

Trouble is once dementia sets in (and it happens quite fast) all that noble talk
about not wanting to be a burden goes out of the window.

Originally posted by Captain Strange
Trouble is once dementia sets in (and it happens quite fast) all that noble talk
about not wanting to be a burden goes out of the window.

It's not just noble talk, it's reality here but I agree with you that it would be an extremely difficult situation.

Originally posted by lolof
I will have to postpone that kind of predicament for about 10 years - my daughters are too busy to take care of me, and as Drew says, we don't want to be dependent on our children.

"Sweden: Providing good elderly care becomes increasingly important with an ageing population. Many elderly Swedes are in good health and lead active lives, and most live in their own homes. Sweden invests more of its gross domestic product in its elderly than any other country in the world..." https://sweden.se/society/elderly-care-in-sweden/

Note: lolof, this is quite an informative article which confirms the difference in the options available as compared with the USA.

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That is what many of us hope for, to be that lucky.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

I just think its the cycle of life. Our parents looked after us when we were young and vulnerable and we have an obligation to look after them when they are aged and vulnerable. If you were my mom and struggling to look after yourself you would come and live in our home if you were agreeable. No question about it.

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
"Sweden: Providing good elderly care becomes increasingly important with an ageing population. Many elderly Swedes are in good health and lead active lives, and most live in their own homes. Sweden invests more of its gross domestic product in its elderly than any other country in the world..." https://sweden.se/society/elderly-care-in-sweden/

Note: ...[text shortened]... rmative article which confirms the difference in the options available as compared with the USA.

All this sounds very good but it isn't quite as good as it sounds. Still, maybe it's a lot better than many other countries.

Originally posted by lolof
All this sounds very good but it isn't quite as good as it sounds. Still, maybe it's a lot better than many other countries.

My siblings and I had and have (mum at 92 passed away 2 years ago. Dad's still with us at 99) parents who were/are financially able to be able to take care of the situation. There was talk at the time care was needed and we all said we'd take them in but they said no that they were OK. I guess it all depends on the individual situations.

Originally posted by robbie carrobie
I just think its the cycle of life. Our parents looked after us when we were young and vulnerable and we have an obligation to look after them when they are aged and vulnerable. If you were my mom and struggling to look after yourself you would come and live in our home if you were agreeable. No question about it.

That's fine if you or your wife do not work.
Tricky if you both work.
We were quoted £14900 (about $22500) per month for a live in carer.
We are well off but still can't afford that.

Originally posted by Captain Strange
That's fine if you or your wife do not work.
Tricky if you both work.
We were quoted £14900 (about $22500) per month for a live in carer.
We are well off but still can't afford that.

My folks paid $8,000.00 CDN/month in what was like a 5 star hotel (2 restaurants, movie theatre, bowling lanes, pools, games room, bar/pub) if they didn't have it you didn't need it. Of course there was also nurses and doctors on site. But at $22,500/month they also wouldn't have been able to afford that.

If one of your own grandparents had written this poem
and then showed it to you during your next visit,
how would you respond?

This is my letter to the world,
That never wrote to me,-
The simple news that Nature told,
With tender majesty

Her message is committed
To hands I cannot see;
For love of her, sweet countrymen,
Judge tenderly of me!

Emily Dickinson