Following questions and answers were collated from one of the past year?s British GCSE exams (16 year olds)!
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term *Caesarean Section.-
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Religious Education
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.
one of my friends and i sat our "advanced higher"* history exam last year. we didn't take it very seriously as we'd both got into uni and...erm...it was mildly hard work...and we're lazy...anyway, the topic was germany between 1918 and 1939, so we studied the treaty of versailles, the revolution from above/below, hyper inflation, Gleichschaltung etc.
So along sauntered the exam. and we hadn't prepared. i gave up after 15 mins. he was not quite so lazy, and did a whole essay on the period in general! he started on the revolution from below and how "the Freikorps, led by krull the mutant warrior king, who bathed in the blood of a number of virgins, defeated the 'revolution from below'. the exact number of virgins is unknown, but is beleived to be between 12 and 15." and ended on the evil of the 3rd reich. However, he said, "they did make some great films!" and babbled about that for a while. We both got C's**.
*highers are just short of a-levels, while AH's are beyond. roughly equal to 1st year university standard.
**albeit on appeal...
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Originally posted by Freddie2004urban myth that one!!!!
philosophy question and answers:
"Is this a question?"
actual answers: "yes", "if that is a question then this is an answer"
they both got an A.
i don't understand how someone could risk their future in an exam by putting such stupid answers as a joke.
Originally posted by arrakisAnd you know that it's not a joke, how? Did the person who sent it to you and 50 of his/her other friends assure you that it was real.
Unfortunately it's not a joke. 😳
Of course for americans, its british students. I've got a version here which may be more interesting to you due to its relevance. I assure you these are for real. 😉
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/SATTESTS.HTML
D