Things worth knowing

@rookie54 said
little known microsoft engineer who designed the crappiest search engine since yahoo...

Hey, I remember that geek! He stared at my shoes at an IT convention in Ohio in 1987. Real extroverted, he was. Introverted geeks stare at their own shoes when you talk to them.

@moonbus said
". . . dramatic porpoises."

-- courtesy of the Grammar Gestapo.

A research scientist studying porpoises discovered a way to make them live forever. Utilizing a compound made by immature seagulls did the trick, as long as they were fed regularly. To protect his research he bought two lions to guard the lab.
One day he forgot to feed the lions before going out to collect the seagulls, so was forced to call the police to tranquilize them in front of the door to get back into his lab. As soon as he enters the lab though, he was immediately arrested for transporting young gulls across stade lions for immortal porpoises.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
A research scientist studying porpoises discovered a way to make them live forever. Utilizing a compound made by immature seagulls did the trick, as long as they were fed regularly. To protect his research he bought two lions to guard the lab.
One day he forgot to feed the lions before going out to collect the seagulls, so was forced to call the police to tranquilize ...[text shortened]... he was immediately arrested for transporting young gulls across stade lions for immortal porpoises.

staid lions

@handyandy said
staid lions

Obliged sir. The joke pivoted on its meticulous spelling.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Obliged sir. The joke pivoted on its meticulous spelling.

Stayed works almost as well.

@handyandy said
Stayed works almost as well.

I like waterworks as well.

@handyandy said
staid lions

Courtesy of the Spelling Stasi.

@great-big-stees said
I like waterworks as well.

I looked at that quickly and thought you said watersports! 😉

-VR

@moonbus said
I know who JFK was. Who the hell was With Bing Crosby??

A singer before your time I figure!

Goad probably listened to him alot!

-VR

@very-rusty said
Some great advice, but I don't plan on jumping anytime soon. Could be something to do if I hit 80 which I don't think I'll see but then we never know, I give Andy (Handandy) as an example! I'd probably need someone on my back such as yourself for my first jump ever!! 😉

-VR

Don't do tandems. No man gets strapped to me or visa versa. Solo baby.

@kquinn909 said
Don't do tandems. No man gets strapped to me or visa versa. Solo baby.

Then you are obviously not an instructor, as I know a guy works on our news channel who jumped from a plane for his first jump and had the instructor strapped to his back baby!!!

-VR