General Forum

General Forum

  1. Subscriberdivegeester
    Racist, apparently
    Dumnonia
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    19 Sep '14 09:321 edit
    The Queen was in Glasgow when she formally met Alex Salmond, Scotland’s First Minister.

    Liz: “How nice to see you Mr. Salmond.”

    AS: “Nice to see you Your Majesty. Now, what are we going to call Scotland when we win Independence?

    Liz: “Oh dear, one hasn’t considered that yet!”

    Liz: “How about calling it a ‘Kingdom’ and then I will be King?

    Liz: “One doesn’t think that is appropriate.”

    AS: “How about ‘Empire’ then I can be an Emperor?

    Liz: “In one’s dreams!”

    AS: “All right! So how about calling it a ‘Principality’ and then I can be a Prince?”

    Liz: “Mr. Salmond! I think we will let it remain a ‘country’ and you can carry on as you are.”

    Credited to a friend.
  2. Joined
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    45179
    19 Sep '14 15:09
    Terrible.
  3. Joined
    29 Dec '08
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    6788
    19 Sep '14 23:39
    The post that was quoted here has been removed
    My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllatysiliogogogoch.

    I said: “How can you say such a thing?”
  4. Joined
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    6788
    20 Sep '14 00:14
    The post that was quoted here has been removed
    <blush>

    Hoping to find an innocent explanation, I instead found:

    "The community's name came from its location at the source of the Beaver Branch of Big Bone Creek."

    wikipedia
  5. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Mr. Wolf
    at home
    Joined
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    45641
    20 Sep '14 00:39
    Originally posted by JS357
    <blush>

    Hoping to find an innocent explanation, I instead found:

    "The community's name came from its location at the source of the Beaver Branch of Big Bone Creek."

    wikipedia
    Big Bone Creek 😀
    some stuff you just cant make up!
  6. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
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    52782
    20 Sep '14 00:58
    Originally posted by wolfgang59
    Big Bone Creek 😀
    some stuff you just cant make up!
    Here in Pennsylvania we have Blue Balls, and Intercourse.

    It gets cold here, at least in one town, it seems🙂
  7. Joined
    02 Jan '06
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    10087
    20 Sep '14 02:48
    Scotland voted against independence?

    No wonder the men there would rather wear a dress than pants.
  8. Joined
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    10087
    20 Sep '14 02:55
    The Scottish vote like they fight.

    It makes a good argument against inbreeding.
  9. Standard memberChessPraxis
    Cowboy From Hell
    American West
    Joined
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    55013
    20 Sep '14 03:32
    In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at day break they would run down the hillside into the deep gorge below to fight.

    One morning at dawn there was a fog (as thick as pea soup) and the two generals decided to refrain from fighting that day. Whilst the two armies were resting a voice, with a scottish accent came from within the dense fog.

    "Any one scotsman can beat any 10 englishmen".

    With this, the english general sent down 10 of his soldiers. There was a hell of a fight and NO ONE returned. An hour later, the same voice was heard.

    "Any one scotsman can beat any 50 englishman".

    With this the english general sent down 50 of his soldiers. The same thing, a terrible fight ensured and again NO ONE returned. An hour later the same voice.

    "Any one scotsman can beat any 100 englishman".

    Same same, down went 100 of the best. NO ONE returned. An hour later.

    "Any one scotsman can beat any 1,000 englishman".

    By this time, the english general had enough and was about to send down his elite soldiers, when he saw a lone englishman crawling up the hill. He was battered to a pulp. As he reached his general he said, "Don't send any more troops down, its a trap, THERES TWO OF THEM".
  10. Standard memberChessPraxis
    Cowboy From Hell
    American West
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    20 Sep '14 03:34
    That being said, I don't live there, and am not informed well on the matter. I am disappointed that Scotland is still under UK watch.
    Cheers
  11. Standard memberwolfgang59
    Mr. Wolf
    at home
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    20 Sep '14 04:21
    Originally posted by ChessPraxis
    That being said, I don't live there, and am not informed well on the matter. I am disappointed that Scotland is still under UK watch.
    Cheers
    Not still under UK but part of UK.

    If given the chance England could leave the UK.
    (As a substantial minority want)
  12. Joined
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    20 Sep '14 04:561 edit
    Originally posted by sonhouse
    Here in Pennsylvania we have Blue Balls, and Intercourse.

    It gets cold here, at least in one town, it seems🙂
    Those towns should get together for an annual release of doves or something.
  13. Joined
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    20 Sep '14 05:34
    Originally posted by ChessPraxis
    That being said, I don't live there, and am not informed well on the matter. I am disappointed that Scotland is still under UK watch.
    Cheers
    Why?
  14. Subscribercoquette
    Already mated
    Omaha, Nebraska, USA
    Joined
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    20 Sep '14 05:52
    It's outrageous to have the nerve to vote for independence. They should have a violent bloody revolution, the old fashioned way.
  15. SubscriberKewpie
    since 1-Feb-07
    Joined
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    322320
    20 Sep '14 06:22
    Originally posted by ChessPraxis
    That being said, I don't live there, and am not informed well on the matter. I am disappointed that Scotland is still under UK watch.
    Cheers
    I'm happy that the Scottish people can do this kind of thing in a civilised way. It's a pity that almost half the country didn't get what they wanted this time, but I don't see them killing each other because of it.

    I can't imagine why an American would be "disappointed" that the United States of England/Scotland/Wales/NorthernIreland isn't coming apart right now. Unless you're planning to secede yourself ...
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