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Translations of the Female Language

Translations of the Female Language

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b
Lisa

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Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use Fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing: This means something, and you should be on your toes.
Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last Five Minutes and end with the word Fine.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing and will end with the word Fine.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or Do what you want, because I don't care. You will get a raised eyebrow Go ahead in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing and Fine and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes when she cools off.

<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing.

<Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. Soft Sighs are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says Oh before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is Fine when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. Oh, as the lead to a sentence, usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows Go ahead followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. That's Okay means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. That's Okay is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow Go ahead. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do: This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful, and you shouldn't get a That's Okay.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from Thanks. A woman will say, Thanks a lot when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the Loud Sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

G
Mr. Shield

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Lol, I bet you'll help a lot of people with this thread.

e

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Fine.

g
11 games waiting

far from u I hope

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Where do you get all this stuff?😲

<Loud Sigh> I lost my keyboard again, I'll be back in five min.



A
Dog Companion

Rain Forest

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Okay. Fine.

c
Islamofascists Suck!

Macon, Georgia, CSA

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Originally posted by bambee
Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use Fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the tr ...[text shortened]... careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
Is this regarding the psyche of English women?...'cause it sounds suspiciously like American women....funny thread....πŸ˜€

i

Felicific Forest

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Can you imagine there are men who are not monogamous ?

Acolyte
Now With Added BA

Loughborough

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Originally posted by bambee
Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use Fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the tr ...[text shortened]... careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh, as she will only tell you Nothing.πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
I don't believe you - the fact that this knowledge is widely available on the internet means that its power to confuse men is somewhat diminished. In fact, men have been known to use many of the same expressions (especially thespians, whose code of honour forbids them to criticise each other directly), but men generally see 'bitchiness' as a bad habit (as opposed to 'banter', where you make fun of people as a way of showing friendship) rather than using it as a tool for manipulation of others.

A much simpler system is one in which words are chosen by context only rather than conveying any meaning, eg "How are you?" is universally answered by "Fine." and every activity takes "a minute".

b
Lisa

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Originally posted by Acolyte
I don't believe you - the fact that this knowledge is widely available on the internet means that its power to confuse men is somewhat diminished. In fact, men have been known to use many of the same expressions (especially thespians, whose code of honour forbids them to criticise each other directly), but men generally see 'bitchiness' as a bad habit (a ...[text shortened]... eg "How are you?" is universally answered by "Fine." and every activity takes "a minute".
fineπŸ˜€

e

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I believe I can successfully tell a woman that she looks fine in such a way that she doesn't blow her top like Mt. St. Helens. πŸ˜€

j
Top Gun

Angels 20

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Originally posted by eagles54
I believe I can successfully tell a woman that she looks fine in such a way that she doesn't blow her top like Mt. St. Helens. πŸ˜€
Me too, they tend more to a sort of Krakatoa look when I do it.

e

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Originally posted by jimmyb270
Me too, they tend more to a sort of Krakatoa look when I do it.
Good man! You're doing your job well! πŸ˜€

Brother Edwin
7 edits

The moral highground

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Its things like this

P
Bananarama

False berry

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Originally posted by Brother Edwin
Its things like this
that make Brother Edwin drop his keyboard.

Women, or "chicks" as they like to be called, are tender creatures and needed to be treated as such. I've successfully called a woman, sorry, "chick", fine on several occasions. For example: "Hey sweetcheeks, you look so fine, I just want you to come over here and give me a beer..." Always finish with a light spank, and your chick will love you forever.

b
Lisa

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Originally posted by PBE6
that make Brother Edwin drop his keyboard.

Women, or "chicks" as they like to be called, are tender creatures and needed to be treated as such. I've successfully called a woman, sorry, "chick", fine on several occasions. For example: "Hey sweetcheeks, you look so fine, I just want you to come over here and give me a beer..." Always finish with a light spank, and your chick will love you forever.
😲

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