A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's penis off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"
There were three couples that went to a church and asked to join. There was a newely wed couple, a middle-aged couple, and a older couple. The pastor told them that they had to go without sex for two weeks. Two weeks later they came back to that same church. The pastor asked the newely wed couple how it went. They replied "It was hard the first week, but then we made it through." He asked the older couple, and they replied "we did not have sex at all for the two weeks." He asked the middle-aged couple and the man said "She dropped a paint can!".
The pastor said "She dropped a paint can?.
The man replied, "She bent over with a paint can in her hand and I just had to get her right then and there!".
The pastor said, "I'm sorry you cannot step foot into this church again!" The man said, "That's okay, we can't go into Home Depot either!!"
Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one week to pick you up. But only one moose, please."
When he returned to the lake, he found the hunters proudly standing beside two moose.
"I told you guys only one moose!" the furious flier screamed. "There's no way the plane can take off with that much weight!"
"You're just a chicken pilot," one hunter said. "We killed two moose last year and that pilot wasn't afraid to take off."
Stung by the suggestion of cowardice, he reconsidered. "All right, if you did it last year, I guess we can try it."
They loaded up and the pilot taxied to the far end of the lake to begin his take-off. The plane bounced across the water as it strained to get airborne, but the overloaded aircraft finally ran out of space and crashed into the trees. Some time later, the hunters regained consciousness.
"Where are we?" one asked.
His friend looked around at the scattered debris, then back at the edge of the lake and replied, "Oh, I guess about a hundred yards farther than last year."
Originally posted by vhouckhamFANTAaaaaaaaSssssssssssTiC
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the ...[text shortened]... nother look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"
aren't you just hilarious?
more more more! lol
i love the way you play too! how's meteorite? did you beat him again?
~^kattY Queen^~