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What do you think of my new poem?

What do you think of my new poem?

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I'm still working on it. It's not yet "deep" enough...

The Ancient Statue Still stares upon the square

The fresh bird poop on its head doesn’t faze it
Nor do the idiots who pose around it for the camera
It’s just another statue of a hero frozen forever in time
Reassuring us that good thoughts and deeds are honored

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Originally posted by homedepotov
I'm still working on it. It's not yet "deep" enough...

The Ancient Statue Still stares upon the square

The fresh bird poop on its head doesn’t faze it
Nor do the idiots who pose around it for the camera
It’s just another statue of a hero frozen forever in time
Reassuring us that good thoughts and deeds are honored
It would sound better in German. πŸ™‚

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Quite luminous beyond the air

Totally grotesque beside the flock
I enjoy dank elves below the tomb
God! The end has died
Dark and numb within the virgin
You hobnob with green fangs among the towers
Can you dig it? The King was good
Quite luminous beyond the air
I breed brilliant claws beneath the vapors
Be transparent. The heat is done
alone intangible
trying to recall
a trace of sadness
For whose sake
a stranger
look for love
in the late light

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Originally posted by Nordlys
Quite luminous beyond the air

Totally grotesque beside the flock
I enjoy dank elves below the tomb
God! The end has died
Dark and numb within the virgin
You hobnob with green fangs among the towers
Can you dig it? The King was good
Quite luminous beyond the air
I breed brilliant claws beneath the vapors
Be transparent. The heat is done
alone inta ...[text shortened]... ying to recall
a trace of sadness
For whose sake
a stranger
look for love
in the late light
It would sound better in German. πŸ™‚

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Originally posted by homedepotov
I'm still working on it. It's not yet "deep" enough...

The Ancient Statue Still stares upon the square

The fresh bird poop on its head doesn’t faze it
Nor do the idiots who pose around it for the camera
It’s just another statue of a hero frozen forever in time
Reassuring us that good thoughts and deeds are honored
Where have you bean?

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Originally posted by Ice Cold
It would sound better in German. πŸ™‚
What would it sount like in German?

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Originally posted by Thomaster
What would it sount like in German?
Now that would sound better in English. 😞

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