What do you think of this?

What do you think of this?

General

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
201142
31 Mar 20

the keys of ms hakima,
are as elusive as the roadrunner's tail...
like wiley coyote, with an acme snare,
she'll try to trap them, but fail...

the keys of ms hakima,
are hide and go seek professionals...
they know the best place to sequester themselves,
is behind the curtain in the confessional...

the keys of ms hakima,
run rings around in her brain...
they constantly hide right behind her,
driving her batsht insane...

the keys of ms hakima,
can surely never be found...
as their sole purpose in the universe,
is to confuse and then to confound...

the keys of ms hakima,
are tri-athletes par sublime...
accelerating faster than the speed of light,
and turning smack dab onna dime...

the keys of ms hakima,
laugh at her efforts to keep them...
oh, they'll submit to her, for a very short time,
then disappear with a silly dimpled grin...

the keys of ms hakima,
are faster than apolo ohno...
try, and try, and try as she might,
she won't see those keys, no mo...

the keys of ms hakima,
will never again be seen...
oh wait a minute, look here honey,
they were right here in yer jeans...

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599185
01 Apr 20

@rookie54 said
the keys of ms hakima,
are as elusive as the roadrunner's tail...
like wiley coyote, with an acme snare,
she'll try to trap them, but fail...

the keys of ms hakima,
are hide and go seek professionals...
they know the best place to sequester themselves,
is behind the curtain in the confessional...

the keys of ms hakima,
run rings around in her brain... ...[text shortened]... l never again be seen...
oh wait a minute, look here honey,
they were right here in yer jeans...
Sound like a love poem to me! 😉

-VR

Constant Gardener

The Plot

Joined
07 Aug 12
Moves
51783
01 Apr 20
1 edit

@c-j-horse said
It's a short poem and I wondered what people might think in terms of its quality and emotional appeal. I have a reason for asking. I should stress that I AM NOT the author.
Lyarde is an olde horse.

Lyarde is an olde horse and may nought wel drawe;
He shall be put in the park holyn for the gnawe.
Barefoot withouten shone there shall he go,
For he is an olde horse and may no more do.
Whiles that Lyarde may drawe, the whiles was he loved;
They put him on provande, and therewith he proved.
Now he may nought do his dede and therewith he proved.
Now he may nought do his dede as he might beforn.
They lig him before pese-straw, and beres away the corn.
They led him to the smithy to pulle off his shone
And puttes him to greenwoode, ther for the gone.
Who-so may nought do his dede, he shall to park,
Barefoot withouten shone, and go with Lyarde.

John Lydgate [ 1370 ? - 1451 ?]

Resident of Planet X

The Ghost Chamber

Joined
14 Mar 15
Moves
28732
01 Apr 20

@wolfgang59 said
I like the start but the second verse isn't up to your usual standard! 😉
In fairness old friend, I wrote the whole thing in 3 and a half minutes.

I wasn't going for the Howard Nemerov Sonnet Award.

Resident of Planet X

The Ghost Chamber

Joined
14 Mar 15
Moves
28732
01 Apr 20

@hakima said
Unless in villanelle form, such as Poe’s “”The Raven”

I think I disagree about prolific repetition in poetry rarely working. In fact, in this case, I think it is quite effective. The speaker in the poem is obsessively vexed with the anticipation of the letter to the point of repetition...then when the news of death comes, the focus changes with the same vexed attention. The ...[text shortened]... ion which gives it a mantric like quality.

Just my meager poetic assessment, for what it’s worth.
Well, I do like The Raven.

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599185
01 Apr 20

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Well, I do like The Raven.
What is difference between Crow and Raven?

-VR

Resident of Planet X

The Ghost Chamber

Joined
14 Mar 15
Moves
28732
01 Apr 20

@very-rusty said
What is difference between Crow and Raven?

-VR
'The Raven' is the title of a famous poem.

If you mean literally, then I believe ravens are much larger than crows.

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599185
01 Apr 20

@ghost-of-a-duke said

If you mean literally, then I believe ravens are much larger than crows.
Ravens often travel in pairs, while crows are seen in larger groups. Also, study the tail as the bird flies overhead. A crow's tail is shaped like a fan, while the raven's tail appears wedge-shaped or triangular. ... Crows give a cawing sound, but ravens produce a lower croaking sound.
Ravens and Crows - Who's Who? | BirdNote
https://www.birdnote.org › show › ravens-and-crows-whos-who

Of course you would have to go to the site to see the difference! It took me years to know the difference between the two.

-VR

Constant Gardener

The Plot

Joined
07 Aug 12
Moves
51783
01 Apr 20

@very-rusty said
Ravens often travel in pairs, while crows are seen in larger groups. Also, study the tail as the bird flies overhead. A crow's tail is shaped like a fan, while the raven's tail appears wedge-shaped or triangular. ... Crows give a cawing sound, but ravens produce a lower croaking sound.
Ravens and Crows - Who's Who? | BirdNote
https://www.birdnote.org › show › ravens-and- ...[text shortened]... o to the site to see the difference! It took me years to know the difference between the two.

-VR
And the rook is rather ugly big black bird with a huge beak that ends beneath it’s eyes.

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599185
01 Apr 20

@drewnogal said
And the rook is rather ugly big black bird with a huge beak that ends beneath it’s eyes.
The rook?

-VR

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
201142
01 Apr 20

twas an overcast day
their cries are sharper than shrill
listen to the wind

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599185
01 Apr 20

@rookie54 said
twas an overcast day
their cries are sharper than shrill
listen to the wind

[youtube]4Ev0TYKH9jE[/youtube]
Do you know what they are? 😉

-VR

Read a book!

Joined
23 Sep 06
Moves
18677
01 Apr 20

@very-rusty said
Do you know what they are? 😉
Crows?

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined
04 Oct 06
Moves
599185
01 Apr 20

@handyandy said
Crows?
Are you sure? Could they be flying fish?

-VR

free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
201142
01 Apr 20

@Very-Rusty
those are crows
corvus brachyrhynchos