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What does it take to hack it on General Forum?

What does it take to hack it on General Forum?

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F

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I am pondering my chances on the General Forum. I have the following testimonial from a fellow poster at Debates:

my dear FMF, your "irony" is as flat as a wrinkle free bedsheet. If this is what you do as satire, you would do well to keep your day job, assuming you have one. When something is funny, intellectually or otherwise, it doesn't pass unnoticed. But when it is simply a poor effort, a lame joke, why, a response in the same vein seems in order. doesn't matter that you are in the part of the world you are in. you seem to have the talent to be extraordinarily dull and provincial no matter what your surroundings may be. my god, man, your "humor" or "satire" is so dull, it is the cause of dullness in others. which is just to be Swift about it. your pretense at sophistication and intellectual humor nothwithstanding, you just don't have the chops to do it, old man. Bill Maher, or even Lewis Black, you ain't. [...] what a frivolous Mr. Rogers you are. There isn't a serious bit of thought rattling around in that mainly empty head of yours -- just a pose as our master of ceremonies, our community leader, our buddy, chum, and elementary school principal. but this isn't Mr. Rogers' neighborhood, Fred. [...] this little thread game you've launched is disguised, as most of what you do here is, either as a dignified, serious bit of intellectual work, or a "game" or a satire -- depending on what reaction you get. The story changes depending on that reaction. You are a natural at dodge ball. In fact, most of what you do is strut around the stage as though you were in a bad melodrama -- always seeking to be the center of attention, ragging on others with the very issues that apply to yourself. You are all smoke and mirrors. You are a good example of why Mencken once said that democracy is running the zoo from the monkey cage. Pretense to knowledge -- but, Fred, your cardigan looks rather worn. Your slippers have holes in their soles, your games aren't amusing and your humor is non-existent. In short, you are a lightweight, a twit.

So. Then. All you crusty General veterans who so rarely bother with the chest beating nether regions of Debates. Does everyone like each other here? What does it take to make friends and influence people on General?

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

That's Why I Drink

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No, thanks, General is better...

no1mafrauder lurks in Debates.

[/shivers]

a

THORNINYOURSIDE

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Originally posted by FMF
What does it take to make friends and influence people on General?
Bigger balls than they have. 😛

w
If Theres Hell Below

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Originally posted by FMF
I am pondering my chances on the General Forum. I have the following testimonial from a fellow poster at Debates:

[quote]my dear FMF, your "irony" is as flat as a wrinkle free bedsheet. If this is what you do as satire, you would do well to keep your day job, assuming you have one. When something is funny, intellectually or otherwise, it doesn't pass unnotice other here? What does it take to make friends and influence people on General?
it's not about the venue, it's about YOU. you always get like-minded friends. be witty and original, and the same kind of people will find you interesting. apparently you weren't, and got beaten by hoh's sandal of contempt. that is hoh you quoted there, right? at least it reads like him.

be a touchy crybaby and spew mindless shallow platitudes, and the gatekeepers of tsm will come to recruit you. if it hasn't happened yet, you stll have hope. if you have love & faith as well, there's the jesus freak clan for you.

be something else, and there's always a like-minded crowd for you. similar people will respond to your writing. it's a mirror of kinds.


oh, about that, it's probably a good sign if the debates crowd doesn't respond to you.

w
If Theres Hell Below

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Originally posted by adramforall
Bigger balls than they have. 😛
yeah, that too. big enough balls, and seitse will love you long time, or at least until the bulls come home. just watch it when he gets the salt shaker, pepper, garlic and a frying pan.

Seitse
Doug Stanhope

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Originally posted by wormwood
yeah, that too. big enough balls, and seitse will love you long time, or at least until the bulls come home. just watch it when he gets the salt shaker, pepper, garlic and a frying pan.
Olé!

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

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Originally posted by wormwood
it's not about the venue, it's about YOU. you always get like-minded friends. be witty and original, and the same kind of people will find you interesting. apparently you weren't, and got beaten by hoh's sandal of contempt. that is hoh you quoted there, right? at least it reads like him.

be a touchy crybaby and spew mindless shallow platitudes, an ...[text shortened]... oh, about that, it's probably a good sign if the debates crowd doesn't respond to you.
Someone else I'm afraid. I'm fully booked at the moment and if any of you need a beating I can't squeeze you in until a week this Tuesday. Only true retards will be able to get themselves penciled in to my schedule.

P
Upward Spiral

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Originally posted by FMF
What does it take to make friends and influence people on General?
If your not a mod, I don't have time to waste on you.

Bosse de Nage
Zellulärer Automat

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Originally posted by wormwood
it's not about the venue, it's about YOU. you always get like-minded friends. be witty and original, and the same kind of people will find you interesting. apparently you weren't, and got beaten by hoh's sandal of contempt. that is hoh you quoted there, right? at least it reads like him.

be a touchy crybaby and spew mindless shallow platitudes, an ...[text shortened]... oh, about that, it's probably a good sign if the debates crowd doesn't respond to you.
Good summary, Old Man.

P
Upward Spiral

Halfway

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Originally posted by Palynka
If you're not a mod, I don't have time to waste on you.
Fixed. 😞

t

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Important: Read post below.

t

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What does it take to hack it on general forum? First, you must go through intense training to acquire a certain set of skills that will keep you safe in the general forum. Below is a list of those skills and what they are needed for.

1.retard blocker: this is needed to protect your brain cells from being drained by the retards that frequent this forum. There are two forms of retard blocking. One is to avoid all retards and pass over their posts. The second comes at great risk.... For the second calls for building up a resistance to retards by only reading and responding to the retard posts for your first two general forum months. I reccommend the first.

2.RN repulsing: this skill requires a thorough understanding of the words "hypocrite" and "hypocrisy." you will need to know these words inside and out in order to find every word that proves the hypocrisy of the hypocrite that uses the handle Red Night. There are no two options about this one. However, RN is considered by some to fall under the "retard" category.

3.Thread killing: you must know how to kill threads in time of need. This skill should be used sparingly as "thread killing champions" fall under the "retard" category. This skill is self explanitory.

4.Troll vision: Use this skill to spot the trolls. By identifying a troll you can frequent his profile and when he is banned you can post a thread about him.

5.Fire extinguisher: flamers are not welcome in these fora. Flamers are worse than trolls because they do not often get banned, thus they must be rooted out and extinguished.

6.MOD'D: To attain this skill you must learn the limits of the mods. This way you can post vulgar threads and personally attack people without receiving a forum ban. Forum bans are bad because it will create unrest in the general forum and it will center around you. Getting those that fall under the "retard" category a forum ban will spur you through the ranks of general forum poularity before you can say, "shutup rusty."


7.The rusty wagon: This skill is used to make fun of those that fall under the "retard" category. This skill is acquired through experience and its name comes from the most constant general forum retard, Very Rusty.

8.posting: this skill is unique to the individual. You must find your niche and make posts that reflect this. If you are dull then all your posts MUST be dull. If you are witty then all your posts MUST be witty etc.

9. Last but not least Reccing: this skill should be learned by all but can only be used by subscribers. It is much more fun and ammusing to rec a post than to alert it. Usually, if a vulgar post gets recced to the top of the rec page you will get to see the retards get angry. That is a spectacle nobody should miss.

If you do not complete your training you will be sentenced to life in debates without a GOOJFC*.


*Don't worry so much about this as you can only get one if you are a part of PF Key anyway.

F

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Originally posted by wormwood
apparently you weren't, and got beaten by hoh's sandal of contempt. that is hoh you quoted there, right? at least it reads like him.
No. The quote I gave you was me being "beaten up" by a retard. He failed to get a couple of authentically ironic posts/gags/threads and just felt bad, when fingered, and gave it a bit of the blunderbuss o'cliches.

But it got me to thinking: with a testimonial like that - from a Debate Twat - a [i]thread spammer[/b] when aggrieved, no less - does this tee me up with a future in General, or does my thin thin skin and need for reassurance blot my copybook, and consign me to life in Debates without parole?

Can I join as a retard and work my way up?

P
Upward Spiral

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Originally posted by FMF
No. The quote I gave you was me being "beaten up" by a retard. He failed to get a couple of authentically ironic posts/gags/threads and just felt bad, when fingered[/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i], and gave it a bit of the blunderbuss o'cliches.

But it got me to thinking: with a testimonial like that - f ...[text shortened]... d consign me to life in Debates without parole?

Can I join as a retard and work my way up?
Did you come here for comfort? That's anathema.

zeeblebot

silicon valley

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Originally posted by FMF
I am pondering my chances on the General Forum. I have the following testimonial from a fellow poster at Debates:

[quote]my dear FMF, your "irony" is as flat as a wrinkle free bedsheet. If this is what you do as satire, you would do well to keep your day job, assuming you have one. When something is funny, intellectually or otherwise, it doesn't pass unnotice ...[text shortened]... other here? What does it take to make friends and influence people on General?
that looks like Scriabin's post but he dropped the leading cap, etc., etc.

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