Ok, so there's a thread on men, and how terrible we are. How about a one on women, just out of fairness and balance? I was originally sending this to a friend, but then I realised it might well serve as a good counterbalance here.
Background, I'm 26. Just broken it off with longterm girlfriend of a year and a half (relationship went bad over distance, plus brutal mind games and the like made me make that decision, difficult to do when you hold someone dearly in your heart, but necessary -anyway, not on about that here), and trying to get back in the game. I remember I used to be ok at all that stuff, never brilliant, just quietly competent.
But I'm so rusty now, sadly... my goodness. Let me tell you about the about the ones I did manage to find this week, from Saturday last up to last night- then tell me if it's my own luck, or is anyone else finding similar things?
First there was the one at this party on Saturday. You'll like this- was down in Wicklow. (The setting for this life play is Ireland, by the way) Ok, not that there was a wealth of choice, but she was very pretty, lovely dark hair, beautiful hazel/brown eyes, sallow skin- anyway, so I catch her eye, and she's all smiles. Really I'm a bit miserable, because the ex is sending me messages which I'm not answering, complete head-wreck situation. So I say to hell with this. My friend and host comes over and says 'Steve, there are lots of single girls down the other end of the garden, if you feel like mingling' or the like, so I leave my more boring friends to smoke their dope and become very witty, and I move off. So, long story short, she's well keen, chat chat chat, flirt flirt flirt. She ventures something along the lines of 'If you've not fixed a place for yourself to sleep tonight, I'm sleeping in the tent at the end of the garden with my two girlfriends, and there's room you'. Ok, there's lots of space everywhere, but I tell her it's the best offer I've received all night. And chat a while longer, and then go and mingle elsewhere (old tactic, so as not to suffocate the babe, best reel them in slowly, I've found in these situations). Anyway, it was still early, and still very much a family party at this stage. So she's still shooting me over smiles and all. Then what? Go on, have a guess....
Well, basically her boyfriend arrives. Now I wasn't too gutted, it was just a funny situation. I didn't know she had a bo', strangely it hadn't come up, and she didn't seemingly know he was going to arrive at the party. So I just observe. he was a nice chap and all that. She's pretty oiled by this stage. I ask the fellow what he does, and he says I.T.. Then she chimes in with 'Yeah, computers, how boring. Me and Stephen, we understand each other, we have things in common, literature, poetry, art and all that- it's much more important than computers'. All the while, she was all googly eyes at me and that kind of nonsense. And I had to say something like 'I.T. must be interesting', a blatant falsehood on my part, but I felt bad for him. Not a very nice girl to do that, me thinks. Anyway, she pretty much passed out, and he looked after her.
So, obviously I'm still going to try and get her number via my mate's sister. I mean, she's only down the road. 😉
But seriously, folks. Then the other night, me and a friend, two blondes at the bar (one a minger, clearly, the other a bit lively, and not bad looking, might I add... but tongue pierced and the like, short blonde hair, blue eyes...). Anyway, I was tanked, had consumed by the end of the night most of a bottle of wine, maybe three pints Guinness and four G&Ts, so I wasn't as lucid as normal. Anyhow, after lots of flirting, the pretty one says to me, 'we're heading up stairs to the club, we'd love you to join us, but I feel I should tell you that my friend's married [I'm thinking, thanks be] and I've been going out with a fellow for two years'... Fair enough.
So we headed up anyway, obviously, to see what else was on offer. And do they not come over and sit down beside us? They do to be sure! The pretty one squeezes in close beside me. Anyway... much flirting and terribly provocative dancing later a pattern emmerges. She says 'you're really cute' (a word I hate) and I tell her she ain't half bad, and she says 'oh, I feel terrible'. Then we dance, and I take her hip and 'oh, but we can't' and she keeps on dancing and rubbing her inner thigh at me. (Is this a fasionable dance now? Maybe I'm out of touch) Then more chat, she asks and I tell her what I do, Italian Renaissance poetry, and she says, I kid you not, 'I think I'm falling in love with you'. Ok, but... 'oh we can't...' [sigh]
Anyway, by then I was too drunk (and horny) and angry to ask for her number, and her married friend wouldn't leave me anywhere near her, anyway, so I registered a 'nil point' result again. But either way, it's a bit of a loss- she really seemed one to bring home to your mum for dinner.
Then last night there was one superbabe, blonde and melancholy, very pretty (I hope that's not become my type, as my ex was rather that way, I just realised) anyway, me, my friend, her, her mate... me trying for eye contact, as that's often the way I work- I usually like to know that I've some connection before heading over. But at this stage, I tell you, most rules are going out the window. Anyway, she seemed lovely, and was chatting away to her not-so-hot friend (obviously destined to be the prize for my lucky friend), when an old barman from my local comes over (shaven head, scarred face, aggressive demeanor- the type of fellow you're proud to stand beside in these situations) and talks to us for three hours about how he was disgruntled before he quit across the way. So after he pisses off, I decide to make a move, but am now dying for a slash. Really fast slash ensues, force it out, obviously neglect to wash hands, and dart across the bar spilling several pints to see these two on their way out the door. And to make it worse, the beautiful blonde babe shoots a modest smile in my direction.
I tell you, that's not even a week in my terrible love life. It's been a series of terrible coincidences and shamefully bad luck for longer than I care to remember. If you ever need a story to cheer you up, and make you feel better about your own love life, just ask me, I have hundreds where they came from.
But anyway, the last one there was a combo of bad luck and poor play on my part. What about the first two, in the space of a few days. Women! Bah- why can't you be as straightforward as we men are... Do you ever say what you mean? Bah. Or is it just me? Do share!
I've had that too, when stuff happens you think 'yes get in' and then for some reason it just disappears. I used to get loads of looks from nice looking girls in clubs at home, but was nearly always too shy to go over and talk to them, then at the end of the night I was kicking myself for not doing it. Stupid I know. Now that I am at uni, things changed, I got on the net for the first time and went on Myspace and msn, speaking to a few people around the area to begin with just to get familiar with the place, then noticed some of the comments I was getting about my pictures of me. I wouldn't say I'm a good looking bloke, but they seemed to think so for some reason. I was flattered of course and was glad that it was over the net and not in person as I didn't really know what to say. Anyway, I got chatting to two girls at the same time, over msn I seemed to be able to be myself more, with more confidence. One girl seemed abit interested and I liked her, and the other was REALLY interested and I thought she was ok but preferred the other one. Things went abit sour with the one I liked so started talking more to the other one and she started thinking we were going out with each other even though I hadn't said anything of the sort. Then few days later the one I liked changes her mind and says she actually does like me! Now that just left me in an awkward situation as I had to let the other one down and maybe destroy the friendship that I thought we had anyway. Now if girls were straight forward then I wouldn't have had that situation, but not that I mind now as we have been together over seven months. But still, you get my point. 😉
