Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed
on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.
(to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated
prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
LIST OF RULES
1. From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going
on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will
be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote
control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch
a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of
your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the
second floor... it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble
on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be
allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”,
or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less.
Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only
lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials
are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use
the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them
again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance
because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
10. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think
about saying “but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we
can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.
11. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these
words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.
12. Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Men of the World
Miller, your post is definitely worth plagiarizing when the real Football season starts. Nice job. But in the meantime I have to admit "go Cowboys." that it is going to be a fun time for the men of the World to watch. Even though it is somewhere down the line to like 20 or so on my list of top Sports. Somewhere way below women's figure skating. I really do know how you feel.
I do have at least one question about the game however. Why is the World Cup only once every four years? Is the game really that bad? [I will now go run away from any sharp unidentified flying objects.]😵
Originally posted by millermanWell five out of six ain't bad 😛
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed
on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.
(to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated
prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
Originally posted by millermanWhat about us ladies that love football? I'll be watching every England match - whoever it upsets, and as many of the other matches as I can.
Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed
on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.
(to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated
prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...
LIST OF RULES
1. From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so ...[text shortened]... Spanish League, etc etc.
12. Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Men of the World
Lisa x