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Write A Personal Ad For Huckleberryhound...

Write A Personal Ad For Huckleberryhound...

General

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Huck's trying to get a date and needs some help. What follows is my first attempt. However, I've been accussed of being insensitive so perhaps y'all can help Huck out better than I can.

Passively Well Muscled Stud Seeks:
F, 18 to 55, non smoker, no hard drugs, must have cheerleading experience, 3 way splits a plus, no fatties, must have an open mind, should like leather/latex, must be able to make a variety of barnyard noises including mooo, baah and oink, oink, oink.

P
Upward Spiral

Halfway

Joined
02 Aug 04
Moves
8702
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
must be able to make a variety of barnyard noises including mooo, baah and oink, oink, oink.
That's not right, mocking a man's nationality like that.

huckleberryhound
Devout Agnostic.

DZ-015

Joined
12 Oct 05
Moves
42584
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Woman wanted, must have pulse.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
Woman wanted, must have pulse.
Must be open to anal bleaching.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_bleaching

I

Joined
16 Oct 06
Moves
4532
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
Woman wanted, must have pulse.
There's this old women who comes in the social club where I work. She's about four feet tall, has an irritatingly squeaky voice and seems a bit 'simple'. She's been throwing herself at me for the last couple of weeks, do you want me to see if I can get her number for you?

r
petting the cat

On Clique Beach

Joined
23 Dec 05
Moves
28199
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
Woman wanted, must have pulse.
Obviously he's not desperate. When he gets to "pulse optional" then it'll be time to intervene.

b

lazy boy derivative

Joined
11 Mar 06
Moves
71817
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Will share a potato with his bonnie lassie.

HoH
Thug

Playing with matches

Joined
08 Feb 05
Moves
14634
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Come on people, help a guy out. Huck needs guidance. Surely there is someone with maturity on this site that can help Huck get laid.

r
petting the cat

On Clique Beach

Joined
23 Dec 05
Moves
28199
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Come on people, help a guy out. Huck needs guidance. Surely there is someone with maturity on this site that can help Huck get laid.
Employed studmuffin seeks sensual sweetie to share paycheck and pillow with.

u
The So Fist

Voice of Reason

Joined
28 Mar 06
Moves
9908
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Internet dating chess player with calloused right hand seeks same.

DS
I'm A Mighty Pirate™

PaTROLLING the forum

Joined
01 Dec 04
Moves
36332
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Come on people, help a guy out. Huck needs guidance. Surely there is someone with maturity on this site that can help Huck get laid.
Sultry, Pooh-addicted, chess nerd seeks warm, lubricated orifice to help sac his bishop. Yodeling and scuba skills an advantage, must supply own bag.

P
Bananarama

False berry

Joined
14 Feb 04
Moves
28719
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Please love me...somebody...please!! :'(

Bad wolf

Joined
23 Jul 05
Moves
8869
Clock
23 Feb 07
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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Come on people, help a guy out. Huck needs guidance. Surely there is someone with maturity on this site that can help Huck get laid.
Sexual frustrated 33 year old male seeks right hand man.

huckleberryhound
Devout Agnostic.

DZ-015

Joined
12 Oct 05
Moves
42584
Clock
23 Feb 07
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I feel the warmth in the help yous guys are giving, makes me proud to be American......which i'm not......that's a totally strange feeling altogether 😕

FB
Great Big Stees

In Check

Joined
12 Mar 04
Moves
10441
Clock
23 Feb 07

Single, lonely, miserable whale, I mean male seeks woman (preferably already retired or close to) for not-so-meaningful relationship. Must have enough money to maintain my castle. Must be into trailers (single or double wide), Coors Light beer, and romantic hot dog cookouts. Mustn’t mind being cursed on occasion, and will have to retain a drivers license as mine has been revoked for a number of reasons. Must be able to sleep with your feet in the air because if you’re going to sleep with me you’re going to sleep in the “ready” position. Must be able to mend my favorite wife-beater T-shirts. Washing them will be second to the mending because I dig the way I smell. Speaking of smell, you will have to enjoy my farts as much as I do. “Love me, love my farts” – Saint Bernard of Clairvaux.

Let’s talk about me, since that is what our relationship will be about anyway. Height and weight proportionate. Proportionate to the Liberty Bell that is. As you can already tell, I’m a smart dresser. Dump 8 to 12 beers down me and I’m a good dancer. Dump 8 to 12 beers on me and you’re in for a love fest. Catholics and Jehovah’s Witnesses need not apply.

Can you fog the glass?

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