1. Standard memberlemon lime
    ook ook ahchoo
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    15 Nov '17 05:45
    1. bite
    2. chew
    3. swallow
    4. repeat
  2. Standard memberwolfgang59
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    15 Nov '17 06:23
    Originally posted by @lemon-lime
    1. bite
    2. chew
    3. swallow
    4. repeat
    That is how to eat an apple.
  3. Standard memberlemon lime
    ook ook ahchoo
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    15 Nov '17 07:23
    Originally posted by @wolfgang59
    That is how to eat an apple.
    Yes, but for the sake of clarity those same eating instructions actually belong in a different thread... because apples are not bananas.

    Some people are bananas, but that's a different topic altogether.
  4. Joined
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    15 Nov '17 08:12
    Originally posted by @lemon-lime
    1. bite
    2. chew
    3. swallow
    4. repeat
    What about 'peel'; a vital stage in the eating of a banana, surely?

    I suggest the following amendment;

    1. Peel
    1.a. Bite
    2. Chew
    3. Swallow
    4. Repeat from 1.a.

    At least this way stages 2 - 4 remain unaltered, avoiding unnecessary confusion.
    N.B. I have banana trees growing in my garden, so consider myself something of an authority.

    Whilst I'm here, here are some pointless facts about bananas.

    Pointless fact 1.; we have 22 different types of banana grown hereabouts; some are nicer than others, and not all of them are yellow.
    Pointless fact 2.; You can't grow a banana tree from a banana; they send out runners, like grass, from which new banana trees grow. Once a banana tree has fruited, it dies and falls over.
    Pointless fact 3.; Pigs are clever. They chew through the base of a banana tree until it falls over, then they eat the bananas, although I confess I have never seen a pig peel a banana, so in the case of pigs; move directly to stage 1.a.
  5. SubscriberGhost of a Dukeonline
    A Spirited Misfit
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    15 Nov '17 08:21
    Originally posted by @indonesia-phil
    What about 'peel'; a vital stage in the eating of a banana, surely?

    I suggest the following amendment;

    1. Peel
    1.a. Bite
    2. Chew
    3. Swallow
    4. Repeat from 1.a.

    At least this way stages 2 - 4 remain unaltered, avoiding unnecessary confusion.
    N.B. I have banana trees growing in my garden, so consider myself something of an authority.
    ...[text shortened]... nfess I have never seen a pig peel a banana, so in the case of pigs; move directly to stage 1.a.
    I don't have time this morning, but will be along later to supply compelling evidence that a pig can indeed peel a banana.
  6. Standard memberwolfgang59
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    15 Nov '17 08:45
    Originally posted by @indonesia-phil
    1. Peel
    1.a. Bite
    2. Chew
    3. Swallow
    4. Repeat from 1.a.

    Repeat forever?!?

    Think we need a "do loop" or sub-routine and a test to see if banana is finished.

    Boy - who would have thought it was so complicated!
  7. SubscriberPianoman1
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    15 Nov '17 09:24
    Does the fact that humans share 55% of the same DNA as bananas go some way to explain the existential void of this thread?
  8. Joined
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    15 Nov '17 09:46
    Originally posted by @pianoman1
    Does the fact that humans share 55% of the same DNA as bananas go some way to explain the existential void of this thread?
    Half man, half banana - I knew I had an affinity. Almost makes one feel like a cannibal. I'm not bent though; straight as a die, me; honest guv...
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    15 Nov '17 09:50
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    I don't have time this morning, but will be along later to supply compelling evidence that a pig can indeed peel a banana.
    That would be the Suffolk Oldstock; particularly clever the Suffolk Oldstock. If only bananas grew in Suffolk...
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    15 Nov '17 10:04
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    I don't have time this morning, but will be along later to supply compelling evidence that a pig can indeed peel a banana.
    Incidentally, and whether or not they can peel bananas (which has yet to be definitively proven) pig breeds come in two distinct types; ones with sticky - up ears and ones with floppy ears. I've heard say that you can't mix the two, as the sticky - up varieties have the advantage when feeding, as the floppy types can't see what the f@*k they're doing. Floppy eared pigs may be a genetic dead - end.
  11. Standard memberwolfgang59
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    15 Nov '17 10:06
    Originally posted by @pianoman1
    Does the fact that humans share 55% of the same DNA as bananas go some way to explain the existential void of this thread?
    Strangely bananas share 55% of human DNA.
    This must explain why this thread was started.
  12. Joined
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    15 Nov '17 10:21
    Songs about bananas;

    1. 'Yes, we have no bananas.'

    2. Anyone...?
  13. SubscriberGhost of a Dukeonline
    A Spirited Misfit
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    15 Nov '17 12:29
    Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
  14. Standard memberwolfgang59
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    16 Nov '17 09:031 edit
    Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
    Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
    Bananas are naughty and nice. Amen.



    edit: whoops wrong thread.
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