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  1. Subscriber Suzianne
    Misfit Queen
    21 Mar '15 22:27 / 1 edit
    A Higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, 'I'm sorry we don't allow Higgs bosons to come to churches.' And the Higgs says, 'But without me, you can't have mass.'




    My apologies if this has been posted before.
  2. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    22 Mar '15 00:07
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    A Higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, 'I'm sorry we don't allow Higgs bosons to come to churches.' And the Higgs says, 'But without me, you can't have mass.'




    My apologies if this has been posted before.
    It was and it is still funny. Not too many people would even get the joke, however.
  3. Standard member DeepThought
    Losing the Thread
    22 Mar '15 18:32
    After the group at LHC had announced faster-than-light neutrinos but before they had discovered that they were not I heard this joke:

    The barman said: "Get out, we don't serve your kind in here!"
    A neutrino walked into a bar.
  4. 22 Mar '15 19:13
    Originally posted by DeepThought
    After the group at LHC had announced faster-than-light neutrinos but before they had discovered that they were not I heard this joke:

    The barman said: "Get out, we don't serve your kind in here!"
    A neutrino walked into a bar.
    That wasn't at LHC.

    I know a variation of this joke that still works:

    A tachyon orders a beer and then walks into a bar.
  5. Standard member DeepThought
    Losing the Thread
    22 Mar '15 20:30
    Originally posted by KazetNagorra
    That wasn't at LHC.

    I know a variation of this joke that still works:

    A tachyon orders a beer and then walks into a bar.
    It crossed my mind to just do the joke with a tachyon, but it works better with neutrinos somehow. I thought the neutrinos were from one of the experiments at L.H.C. and detected in Italy. The faulty soldering was in the coincidence timing equipment and I don't know which end the fault was meant to be.
  6. Standard member adam warlock
    Baby Gauss
    24 Mar '15 14:27
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    'But without me, you can't have mass.'
    Actually is perfectly possible to have mass without the Higgs boson. Actually a lot of particles would still have mass if the Higgs boson didn't exist.

    Not to mention that the Higgs Boson has nothing to do with the mass generation of some kind of particles. We only need the existence for an Higgs field whose average value in non vanishing.

    But it was only joke, right?...
  7. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    29 Mar '15 15:14
    Originally posted by adam warlock
    Actually is perfectly possible to have mass without the Higgs boson. Actually a lot of particles would still have mass if the Higgs boson didn't exist.

    Not to mention that the Higgs Boson has nothing to do with the mass generation of some kind of particles. We only need the existence for an Higgs field whose average value in non vanishing.

    But it was only joke, right?...
    Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
  8. Standard member adam warlock
    Baby Gauss
    29 Mar '15 18:10 / 1 edit
    Originally posted by sonhouse
    Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
    Man,

    I wanted someone to bite the bullet so that I could give a proper explanation of the Higgs Boson and the Higgs mechanism.
    Can you bite the bullet?
  9. Standard member DeepThought
    Losing the Thread
    29 Mar '15 19:55
    Originally posted by adam warlock
    Actually is perfectly possible to have mass without the Higgs boson. Actually a lot of particles would still have mass if the Higgs boson didn't exist.

    Not to mention that the Higgs Boson has nothing to do with the mass generation of some kind of particles. We only need the existence for an Higgs field whose average value in non vanishing.

    But it was only joke, right?...
    This doesn't really represent what is happening well. All the fundamental particles in the Standard Model which acquire mass do so via the Higgs mechanism and through no other mechanism. The only particles that do not acquire mass via the Higgs mechanism are the photon, the SU(3) gluons and the graviton (if it exists). The bulk of the mass of composites like hadrons comes from the chiral anomaly, but the Higgs mechanism still contributes.
  10. Standard member Soothfast
    0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,
    29 Mar '15 20:08
    Originally posted by DeepThought
    It crossed my mind to just do the joke with a tachyon, but it works better with neutrinos somehow. I thought the neutrinos were from one of the experiments at L.H.C. and detected in Italy. The faulty soldering was in the coincidence timing equipment and I don't know which end the fault was meant to be.
    So, how many Italian neutrinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  11. Standard member DeepThought
    Losing the Thread
    29 Mar '15 20:14
    Originally posted by Soothfast
    So, how many Italian neutrinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Dunno, how many Italian neutrinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  12. Standard member Soothfast
    0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,
    29 Mar '15 20:32
    Originally posted by DeepThought
    Dunno, how many Italian neutrinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    I'm thinking 3, based on a beer coaster calculation. Yes, 3 plus or minus 10^89, with 12.1% confidence.
  13. Standard member adam warlock
    Baby Gauss
    30 Mar '15 11:25 / 1 edit
    Originally posted by DeepThought
    This doesn't really represent what is happening well. All the fundamental particles in the Standard Model which acquire mass do so via the Higgs mechanism and through no other mechanism. The only particles that do not acquire mass via the Higgs mechanism are the photon, the SU(3) gluons and the graviton (if it exists). The bulk of the mass of composites like hadrons comes from the chiral anomaly, but the Higgs mechanism still contributes.
    The Higgs is a fundamental particle and it doesn't get its mass form the Higgs mechanism.

    Also my point was, and it's a good thing you mentioned gluons in your post, that most of normal particles mass doesn't come from the Higgs mechanism. For instance if the Higgs didn't exist protons would still have more than 90% of their mass would still exist due to the existance of gluons, which like you correctly pointed out doesn't come from the Higgs.

    The same would apply for most of the existing composite particles that we know of. Hence this nonsense of the Higgs boson being responsible for the existence of mass in our Universe is just that: a nonsense.
  14. 30 Mar '15 12:09
    Originally posted by adam warlock
    The Higgs is a fundamental particle and it doesn't get its mass form the Higgs mechanism.

    Also my point was, and it's a good thing you mentioned gluons in your post, that most of normal particles mass doesn't come from the Higgs mechanism. For instance if the Higgs didn't exist protons would still have more than 90% of their mass would still exist du ...[text shortened]... iggs boson being responsible for the existence of mass in our Universe is just that: a nonsense.
    Perhaps it's true, perhaps it's not. But the important question is - where is the humour in that?
  15. Standard member adam warlock
    Baby Gauss
    30 Mar '15 15:46 / 1 edit
    Originally posted by FabianFnas
    Perhaps it's true, perhaps it's not. But the important question is - where is the humour in that?
    Well you see it's not a matter of having humor, it's a matter of disagreeing with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

    And also a matter of waiting for someone to ask me to give an approachable, but still correct, explanation of the Higgs mechanism and the Higgs boson.