1. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
    Joined
    01 Jan '06
    Moves
    33672
    22 Jul '08 22:19
    ... any Mormons in these forums?

    If so, please let me know how do you manage to make the digestion in the mornings without that magic first cigarette and a cup of delicious espresso latte.

    Please hurry up, brothers... I need to poo!! :'(

    Best regards,
    Troubled Intestine
  2. Joined
    23 Mar '06
    Moves
    20827
    22 Jul '08 22:30
    Originally posted by Seitse
    ... any Mormons in these forums?

    If so, please let me know how do you manage to make the digestion in the mornings without that magic first cigarette and a cup of delicious espresso latte.

    Please hurry up, brothers... I need to poo!! :'(

    Best regards,
    Troubled Intestine
    I don't think they are allowed to play chesss....just watch.

    😛
  3. Standard memberusmc7257
    semper fi
    Joined
    02 Oct '03
    Moves
    112520
    22 Jul '08 22:42
    Originally posted by Seitse
    ... any Mormons in these forums?

    If so, please let me know how do you manage to make the digestion in the mornings without that magic first cigarette and a cup of delicious espresso latte.

    Please hurry up, brothers... I need to poo!! :'(

    Best regards,
    Troubled Intestine
    A few members of my family are mormon. Why do you have such fascination with them? They live a pretty healthy lifestyle. I don't agree with alot of their doctrine but some of their stuff makes sense.
  4. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    52619
    22 Jul '08 23:34
    Originally posted by usmc7257
    A few members of my family are mormon. Why do you have such fascination with them? They live a pretty healthy lifestyle. I don't agree with alot of their doctrine but some of their stuff makes sense.
    My sister and mother used to be mormon. I was invited to one of their church meeting, whatever you call them.
    So the first thing is some songs, and at the end of those, the deacon(?)
    announced a visiting deacon, I think that was the term.
    So he starts off with, You know, I listened to those hymns and I just didn't think the Amen's at the end were very enthusiastic.

    So he goes on to the main theme:
    We find some of you, AND WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, have not been tithing your 10 percent. We will be sending out teams to your homes to find out why, and what we can do about this situation.
    Ok, that's all I have to say, Good day.

    That's when I was thinking, glad I am not religious.
  5. Standard memberGrampy Bobby
    Boston Lad
    USA
    Joined
    14 Jul '07
    Moves
    43012
    22 Jul '08 23:53
    Originally posted by sonhouse
    My sister and mother used to be mormon. I was invited to one of their church meeting, whatever you call them.
    So the first thing is some songs, and at the end of those, the deacon(?)
    announced a visiting deacon, I think that was the term.
    So he starts off with, You know, I listened to those hymns and I just didn't think the Amen's at the end were very en ...[text shortened]... that's all I have to say, Good day.

    That's when I was thinking, glad I am not religious.
    Man made religious systems are counterfeits of the truth and, as such, serve as The Great Deceiver's

    ritual without reality opiate and ace trump in the ancient high stakes game for the souls of men.



    Clarence


    }😉
  6. Standard memberepic0002
    Black Mark
    walking to and fro
    Joined
    02 Aug '05
    Moves
    39001
    22 Jul '08 23:58
    Originally posted by Seitse
    ... any Mormons in these forums?

    If so, please let me know how do you manage to make the digestion in the mornings without that magic first cigarette and a cup of delicious espresso latte.

    Please hurry up, brothers... I need to poo!! :'(

    Best regards,
    Troubled Intestine
    If you woke up in the morning with 5 wives in bed and 3 of the 5 are sisters and 1 is their mother.. the other 1.. well its YOUR sister...

    would you need coffee in the morning?
  7. tulsa,OK
    Joined
    08 Mar '08
    Moves
    696
    23 Jul '08 02:06
    im a jack mormon 2 years on a mission at the age of 19
    now i smoke drink and who knows what all after a failed
    marriage.The inner workings of the church are very condecending
    and judgemental.They have no real support system for there
    wayward members especially those with addiction problems.
    All and all though the doctrines are still true and if you can
    put up with the crappy people in the church and do according
    to the teacings you wold by far be a better person and closer to god
  8. Standard memberleisurelysloth
    Man of Steel
    rushing to and fro
    Joined
    13 Aug '05
    Moves
    5930
    23 Jul '08 03:17
    Originally posted by Seitse
    ... any Mormons in these forums?

    If so, please let me know how do you manage to make the digestion in the mornings without that magic first cigarette and a cup of delicious espresso latte.

    Please hurry up, brothers... I need to poo!! :'(

    Best regards,
    Troubled Intestine
    I recommend you get more fiber in your diet. Perhaps a bowl of oatmeal in the morning. And drink plenty of water too.
  9. Joined
    23 Mar '06
    Moves
    20827
    23 Jul '08 04:28
    Originally posted by WhiteKnight2
    im a jack mormon 2 years on a mission at the age of 19
    now i smoke drink and who knows what all after a failed
    marriage.The inner workings of the church are very condecending
    and judgemental.They have no real support system for there
    wayward members especially those with addiction problems.
    All and all though the doctrines are still true and if you ...[text shortened]... e church and do according
    to the teacings you wold by far be a better person and closer to god
    There are A TON of mormons around here.

    I like to watch them, they are odd yet predictable and generally nice people. Usually 5 kids or more, the women are usually blond (this is a ploy by the church to convert non mormon men), they usually drive a minivan (because they are giving so much of their money to the church they can't afford a SUV).

    I like to keep track of what houses in the neighborhood are mormon, so I know where to break into if there is ever a famine.

    😉
  10. Tionesta
    Joined
    12 Dec '06
    Moves
    23752
    23 Jul '08 06:18
    When there is a famine are you supposed to break into mormon houses? And if so, why. Do they offer cuddly exercises to get the mind off the famine? Or, does their houses act as famine zappers? I just can't figure the logic of this break in procedure.
  11. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
    Joined
    01 Jan '06
    Moves
    33672
    23 Jul '08 06:43
    1. Thank you everybody, for your time and effort

    2. Yes, I still need coffee and a cigarette after a night of bad sleep and carrousel sex

    Be blessed.

    Regards,
    Michael
  12. Joined
    23 Mar '06
    Moves
    20827
    23 Jul '08 14:44
    Originally posted by Evil Pawn 666
    When there is a famine are you supposed to break into mormon houses? And if so, why. Do they offer cuddly exercises to get the mind off the famine? Or, does their houses act as famine zappers? I just can't figure the logic of this break in procedure.
    Oi!

    They are supposed to store 1 years worth of food for their family, according to the church officials.
  13. Joined
    02 Jan '06
    Moves
    10087
    24 Jul '08 02:51
    Originally posted by WhiteKnight2
    im a jack mormon 2 years on a mission at the age of 19
    now i smoke drink and who knows what all after a failed
    marriage.The inner workings of the church are very condecending
    and judgemental.They have no real support system for there
    wayward members especially those with addiction problems.
    All and all though the doctrines are still true and if you ...[text shortened]... e church and do according
    to the teacings you wold by far be a better person and closer to god
    That is about the saddest thing I have ever heard. :'(
Back to Top