Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Plenty of rhymes rhyme wit axiom
And I like tha shape of yo' mama's rack, see I'm
Always hittin' it from behind in the back seat o' my
Benz and tha whole BWA's got my back, so, um,
Better step off cuz I gotz tha maximum,
No, make that the blaximum,
Rhymin' skillz, you just got tha whaximum.
Now, you tryin' to show off? You tryin' to get fancy?
To get in ma' face is a little bit chancy.
You ain't got the groove to step to my dance, see?
Even Ivanhoe wishes yo' mom ended her pregnancy!
To rhyme with that word, you needed neologism,
Dim cognates, homophones and weak symbolism.
Fo' you, I lay down my sage aphorism:
You a foreigner here, and I'm an autochthonism.
So let me proposition you with ma' own axiom,
Watch how my question indubitably taxes him!
Vexin' him, tauntin' him, baitin' him, waxin' him.
He offers the minimum, I offer the maximum.
'All niggas is equal.' That's the law of the land.
Whether evolved from a blob or the work of God's hand,
or the wave of Spaghetti Monster's Noodly strand,
'We is all equal.' That's a standard command.
Well, I've come to question whether this would be true,
Whether God, Fate or chance this equality did imbue,
And this is the negation I offer for review,
Orwell had it right: I'm mo' equal than you!
That's right, son, you gots it. I shine where you flounder.
My melody's tighter; my rhythm, it's sounder.
Yo' thoughts is so trite, and mine are profounder.
They call you: Confused One. Me? The Astounder.
I gots the wisdom of Solomon, his harem twice again.
I call down my rhymes like fire down from heaven.
Letters of blood come out o' ma' pen,
When I finish rhymin', the folk say 'Amen!.'
Rappin' at you is throwin' pearls to swine.
You lucky that you can even follow ma' line.
I gots followers, a temple, a church, and a shrine.
You gots a card trick. Me? Water to wine.
Hearin' my word is to drink livin' water.
Piss me off, son, and you gonna get slaughtered.
Yo' girl is so cheap, five dolla's I bought her.
I just had yo' mom, next up is yo' daughter.
In the hospital of rhyme, I heal at a glance.
My revelatory speech puts all in a trance.
My word makes the blind see, deaf hear, and lame dance.
I'm the docta, not you. Now go clean bed pans.
You come from Decapolis? It seems that you do.
The impediment of speech was a really big clue.
Ephphatha, I say! Start yo' rhymin' anew.
Yo' beat is confused, yo' words are askew.
You just been healed, but still you a mute?
The little you say in my presence do pollute.
Touch the hem of my rhyme? That's still yo' pursuit?
I healed yo' fat lips, but yo' brain's too minute.
Mess with ma' logos and you'll have atone.
You're just an ass-zephyr, I'm a rhymin' cyclone.
I'm prolific, wise, and powerful and you're an unknown.
You just a sinner and I done cast the first stone!
Even Bartemeus can see that yo' the inferior type.
Like Legion, you foamin' and raisin' up hype.
You flip jive like you been hittin' the pipe.
My sandals you can't carry, but my ass you can wipe.
So how is we equal, huh? You a punk. I'm a king.
Yo' well has run dry, mine's like a new spring.
You fall when I fly, you stammer when I sing.
I'm the Pontifex Maximus. Now come kiss my ring.
Nemesio