The following is the last log entry of Donald Crowhurst who in 1968 entered a race to sail solo non-stop around the world. A series of circumstances resulted in his making the decision (shortly after departure) to fake his journey rather than turn back and face bankruptcy (and probable public ridicule) or press on and face likely death in the Southern Ocean. He planned to wait in the Atlantic for the other entrants to come around the world and slip in behind them. He reasoned that if he didn't finish first, his log wouldn't be scrutinized and no one would be the wiser. Even this plan was foiled when all the other contenders dropped out. This log entry was the culmination of spending months alone with his conscience. His boat was found abandoned in the Sargasso Sea. Crowhurst was never found and presumed a suicide. There are some interesting ideas here.
"The explanation of our troubles is that cosmic beings are playing games with us. During his lifetime, each man plays cosmic chess against the Devil. God is playing with one set of rules, and the Devil with the other, exactly opposite set of rules. The shameful secret of God, the trick he used, because the truth would hurt too much, is that there is no good, or evil. Only truth. Do we go on clinging to the idea that God made us or realise that it lies within us to make God? By learning to manipulate the space-time continuum, man will become God, and will no longer exist in the physical universe as we know it. I have become a second generation cosmic being. I am conceived in the womb of nature, but in my own mind, in the womb of the universe. I was forced to admit that nature forces on a cosmic being the only sin they are capable of: the sin of concealment. It is a small sin for a man to commit, but it is a terrible sin for a cosmic being. I am what I am and I see the nature of my offence. I will only resign this game if you will agree that on the next occasion that this game is played, it will be played according to the rules that are devised by my great God. It is finished. It is finished. It is the mercy.
It is the end of my game. Truth has been revealed and it will be done as my family requires me to do it.
There is no reason for harmful"