Do you think Jesus ever masterbated?

Do you think Jesus ever masterbated?

Spirituality

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Outkast

With White Women

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23 Dec 07

Originally posted by Red Night
Probably not. Onanism was a sin. More likely he had a wife (Mary Magdalene?) and maybe a mistress (Mary Magdalene?)

OR

He was an Essene and took a vow of chastity.

Either way it is unlikely that he masturbated.
I think this is a case of coitus interruptus rather than masturbation. The problem with Onan was that he violated the Levirite law of not ensuring the continuation of the family legacy. Perhaps Visteds ca n help me on this but I'm sure the passage is not about masturbation. There are too many people walking the face of the earth.

IM
Primal Primate

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2 edits

Originally posted by kirksey957
I think this is a case of coitus interruptus rather than masturbation.
they're not exactly mutually exclusive. maybe he pulled out and had to give himself a hand over the finishing line, so to speak.

Guppy poo

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23 Dec 07

Originally posted by Red Night
Onan spilled his seed upon the ground and God struck him dead.


(BTW, I'm not saying it is a sin just that a jew of the 1st century would have believed it a sin.)
By the sounds of it not just a Jew then...

God killed someone for masturbation? It reminds me a bit of Pulp Fiction, when they're talking about Marcello throwing someone out a window for touching his wife's feet...

A bit over the top maybe?

s
Kichigai!

Osaka

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23 Dec 07

Originally posted by shavixmir
By the sounds of it not just a Jew then...

God killed someone for masturbation? It reminds me a bit of Pulp Fiction, when they're talking about Marcello throwing someone out a window for touching his wife's feet...

A bit over the top maybe?
Especially from an omnibenevolent God who knew he'd do it and had the power to stop it!

S
Caninus Interruptus

2014.05.01

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Originally posted by eatmybishop
it doesnt say its a sin in the bible... but it does make you blind so you're better off not doing it and paying someone to do it for you
The best thing about a blind hooker is they have no idea what denomination of bills you're giving them.

Hmmm . . .

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I think the scriptures clearly show Jesus as a masterdebater.

Guppy poo

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Originally posted by vistesd
I think the scriptures clearly show Jesus as a masterdebater.
That really and truly is extremely excruciating.

f

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Matthew 5:27

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[e] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It is sin and he is sinless. If Jesus, God incarnate, can spend forty days in the desert without eating, I'm sure sexual temptation wasn't very hard for him to overcome.

Outkast

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24 Dec 07

Originally posted by freightdog37
Matthew 5:27

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[e] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It is sin and he is sinless. If Jesus, God incarnate, can spend forty days in the desert without eating, I'm sure sexual temptation wasn't very hard for him to overcome.
Do you have any suggestions for say a 14 year old boy?

Chief Justice

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Originally posted by kirksey957
Do you have any suggestions for say a 14 year old boy?
Tell him to spare the rod.

Outkast

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Originally posted by bbarr
Tell him to spare the rod.
And that will work?

s
Kichigai!

Osaka

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Originally posted by bbarr
Tell him to spare the rod.
Come on, this is the Catholic Church - which "rod" are we talking about?!

Chief Justice

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Originally posted by kirksey957
And that will work?
A teenage boy will find a way to masturbate even if you cut off his hands. It would be easier to change the theology than to change the nature of teenage boys.

S
Caninus Interruptus

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Originally posted by freightdog37
Matthew 5:27

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[e] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It is sin and he is sinless. If Jesus, God incarnate, can spend forty days in the desert without eating, I'm sure sexual temptation wasn't very hard for him to overcome.
This is actually one of the best verses to show just how absurd the bible's moral code really is. What is the point of Jesus' asking us to go against our very nature? If there is a Creator-God, isn't he the one who designed us to be sexually attracted to others?

RN
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This is one of the most idiotic threads I have ever read.