1. Standard memberHand of Hecate
    Merciless Vagabond
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    13 Dec '07 20:40
    I was in a gravel parking lot of a church answering a cell phone call. As I hung up this woman came up to my window and rapped on it to get my attention. Aside from scarring the hell out of me, disturbing my inner calm pissed me off. I cracked the window a couple of inches, you never know what these freaks are going to do, and asked her what she wanted. She said she'd run out of gas just down the road and wanted a ride to a gas station. I promptly told her to get stuffed, slammed the truck into drive and hauled ass out of the parking lot leaving her to choke gravel and dust. Classic move that made me laugh out loud to myself.

    Shortly thereafter I came uncomfortably close to crapping my pants. The pressure was immense and I may have done my sphincter permanent damage. Is this God's punishment?
  2. Subscribermdhall
    Mr Palomar
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    13 Dec '07 20:50
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    I was in a gravel parking lot of a church answering a cell phone call. As I hung up this woman came up to my window and rapped on it to get my attention. Aside from scarring the hell out of me, disturbing my inner calm pissed me off. I cracked the window a couple of inches, you never know what these freaks are going to do, and asked her what she wa ...[text shortened]... sure was immense and I may have done my sphincter permanent damage. Is this God's punishment?
    Of course not.
    Obviously she was a witch and put a hex on you.
    Inform the local inquisitors and get yourself some garlic and sage.
  3. Joined
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    13 Dec '07 20:50
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    Aside from scarring the hell out of me
    she scarred the hell out of you just by tapping on your window

    what awesome tapping power leaves hellish scars on a man

    what you did can only be described as self-defense
  4. Standard memberRed Night
    RHP Prophet
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    13 Dec '07 21:50
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    I was in a gravel parking lot of a church answering a cell phone call. As I hung up this woman came up to my window and rapped on it to get my attention. Aside from scarring the hell out of me, disturbing my inner calm pissed me off. I cracked the window a couple of inches, you never know what these freaks are going to do, and asked her what she wa ...[text shortened]... sure was immense and I may have done my sphincter permanent damage. Is this God's punishment?
    Did you have your hood on when she approached your truck?
  5. Standard memberknightmeister
    knightmeister
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    13 Dec '07 22:02
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    I was in a gravel parking lot of a church answering a cell phone call. As I hung up this woman came up to my window and rapped on it to get my attention. Aside from scarring the hell out of me, disturbing my inner calm pissed me off. I cracked the window a couple of inches, you never know what these freaks are going to do, and asked her what she wa ...[text shortened]... sure was immense and I may have done my sphincter permanent damage. Is this God's punishment?
    The state of mind that you invited into yourself by your actions and attitude are their own punishment. In a sense by offering disrespect to someone else you have already punished yourself.
  6. Joined
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    13 Dec '07 23:15
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    I was in a gravel parking lot of a church answering a cell phone call. As I hung up this woman came up to my window and rapped on it to get my attention. Aside from scarring the hell out of me, disturbing my inner calm pissed me off. I cracked the window a couple of inches, you never know what these freaks are going to do, and asked her what she wa ...[text shortened]... sure was immense and I may have done my sphincter permanent damage. Is this God's punishment?
    Yes, but the worst is yet to come. Next time you will crap your pants! 😲
  7. Joined
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    13 Dec '07 23:21
    This is too funny! I'm laughing uncontrollably. Thanks, I needed that.
  8. Standard memberHand of Hecate
    Merciless Vagabond
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    14 Dec '07 00:16
    Originally posted by Red Night
    Did you have your hood on when she approached your truck?
    Come on now, if she'd been ethnically challenged I wouldn't have rolled down the window before peeling out.
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    14 Dec '07 02:48
    Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
    Come on now, if she'd been ethnically challenged I wouldn't have rolled down the window before peeling out.
    What would have been even funnier is if you had let her in the car and then crapped your pants. Now thats an awkward situation to say the least. The only question really is who would have jumped out of the car first!!
  10. Standard memberHand of Hecate
    Merciless Vagabond
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    15 Dec '07 14:21
    Originally posted by whodey
    What would have been even funnier is if you had let her in the car and then crapped your pants. Now thats an awkward situation to say the least. The only question really is who would have jumped out of the car first!!
    This isn't a laughing matter, I'm still suffering under the hand of divine retrobution. I had to pick some things up this morning at a grocery store and obliterated a stall in their restroom. It probably sounded like a moose was being slaughtered to anyone with 30 yards of the restroom. I actually had to take my pants off to finish the job. Sweet Jesus, I think I've got leprosy of the colon or some other biblical rectal plague.
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