1. Standard memberMaustrauser
    Lord Chook
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    16 Apr '05 12:54
    Leviticus 3:9

    9 Then he shall offer from the sacrifice of the peace offering, as an offering made by fire to the LORD, its fat and the whole fat tail which he shall remove close to the backbone. And the fat that covers the entrails and all the fat that is on the entrails,
    10 0the two kidneys and the fat that is on them by the flanks, and the fatty lobe attached to the liver above the kidneys, he shall remove;

    12 And if his offering is a goat, then he shall offer it before the LORD.
    13 shall lay his hand on its head and kill it before the tabernacle of meeting; and the sons of Aaron shall sprinkle its blood all around on the altar.
    14 Then he shall offer from it his offering, as an offering made by fire to the LORD. The fat that covers the entrails and all the fat that is on the entrails,
    15 the two kidneys and the fat that is on them by the flanks, and the fatty lobe attached to the liver above the kidneys, he shall remove;


    "G'day God, it's the Aussie atheiset here again, may I ask a question?"
    "I've never stopped you before," boomed THE LORD.
    "Ta. I was simply wondering why the fatty lobe above the liver has to be removed when you want a blood sacrifice."
    "Why don't you read the entire set of instructions, instead of just skimming? If you read Chapter 3 verse 16, you will note that I say that all the fat is the LORDs."
    "But what do you want it for? What about cholesterol?"
    "Oh I don't use it. I send it down to Lucifer. He uses it in the furnaces and for feeding the hordes. It works quite well burning fat, but it is a little smoky."
    "OK, I've read it all now. But your next verse says that 'This is a perpetual statute throughout your generations in all your dwellings: you shall eat netiher fat nor blood.' So does this mean anyone eating at McDonalds is a sinner?"
    "I think it is pretty clear, don't you. It is written in MY BOOK. I WROTE IT. Therefore it is the LAW. Those who eat fat and blood break MY LAW and are therefore sinners," spake the LORD.
    "And so anyone who eats at McDonalds or Hungry Jacks is a sinner?"
    "Yep. Apparently my words are to be interpreted literally and therefore if those burgers contain fat or blood, then to eat them makes you a sinner. AND YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!"
    "Thanks for the chat. I'll catch you later."


    So my question to Darfius, Blindfaith101 and djBecker et al is "Do you eat Burgers? And if so, aren't you breaking God's law?"
  2. Meddling with things
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    16 Apr '05 14:00
    Originally posted by Maustrauser
    Leviticus 3:9

    12 And if his offering is a goat, then he shall offer it before the LORD.
    13 shall lay his hand on its head and kill it before the tabernacle of meeting; and the sons of Aaron shall sprinkle its blood all around on the altar.
    Strewth! (as an Aussie might opine)

    Do these fundementalist god boys do that goat slaughtering thing in church? Sounds more like a B- movie, they cannot be serious.

  3. DonationAcolyte
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    16 Apr '05 14:43
    Originally posted by Maustrauser
    Leviticus 3:9

    9 Then he shall offer from the sacrifice of the peace offering, as an offering made by fire to the LORD, its fat and the whole fat tail which he shall remove close to the backbone. And the fat that covers the entrails and all the fat that is on the entrails,
    10 0the two kidneys and the fat that is on them by the flanks, and the fatty lo ...[text shortened]... th101 and djBecker et al is "Do you eat Burgers? And if so, aren't you breaking God's law?"
    No, you've got it all wrong. When Jesus came along, he made a new covenant with everyone, whereas the old covenant had just been for the Jews. The new covenant carries over some features of the Jewish statutes (the Old Testament) but renders other parts obsolete. Unfortunately, the exact nature of the new covenant is hidden until you can See the Light. Once you can do this, it's quite simple: just pick up a Bible and start reading, and you'll find that the sections still in effect have a golden halo about them, while the obsolete bits appear ordinary. For example, the ban on homosexuality is highlighted and is thus part of the new covenant (and so is binding upon everyone, and has been since the first century AD), but the ban on shellfish is not, so it only applies to the old covenant (so was binding only on Jews alive prior to the relevation of the new covenant).
  4. SubscriberAThousandYoung
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    16 Apr '05 20:02
    Originally posted by Acolyte
    No, you've got it all wrong. When Jesus came along, he made a new covenant with everyone, whereas the old covenant had just been for the Jews. The new covenant carries over some features of the Jewish statutes (the Old Testament) but renders other parts obsolete. Unfortunately, the exact nature of the new covenant is hidden until you can See the Light. ...[text shortened]... he old covenant (so was binding only on Jews alive prior to the relevation of the new covenant).
    Man. That is hilarious.

    Reading the Bible on drugs must be a lot of fun.
  5. Standard memberMaustrauser
    Lord Chook
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    17 Apr '05 04:28
    Originally posted by Acolyte
    No, you've got it all wrong. When Jesus came along, he made a new covenant with everyone, whereas the old covenant had just been for the Jews. The new covenant carries over some features of the Jewish statutes (the Old Testament) but renders other parts obsolete. Unfortunately, the exact nature of the new covenant is hidden until you can See the Light. ...[text shortened]... he old covenant (so was binding only on Jews alive prior to the relevation of the new covenant).
    But that's what I have been trying to find out...where in the Bible does it say that the OT is old hat? Nowhere it seems. Some Christians assert it but can't show me a passage in the NT which clearly says it. There appears to be a few bits (eg Divorce) where Jesus says that the OT doesn't need to be followed any longer...but hardly anything else.

    Puts you off hamburgers a bit, doesn't it.
  6. DonationAcolyte
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    17 Apr '05 16:48
    Originally posted by sasquatch672
    I've talked to whole bunches and bunches of Holy Rollers, and none of them ever claimed that their Bible lit up.
    It could be that they're only pretend Christians - check if they worship false idols, such as Kung-Fu Jesus or images of the Virgin Mary. In any case, the words don't light up on the page, they light up IN YOUR HEART, thanks to the guiding hand of Jesus.

    You're kidding, right? I mean because if you are, it's pretty funny. Thingie is, I don't think you are kidding. So let's go with that.

    In the context, this comment perfectly describes the current state of the Spirituality Forum. Have a biscuit, and a rec while you're at it.
  7. Joined
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    19 Apr '05 08:57
    Originally posted by Acolyte
    It could be that they're only pretend Christians - check if they worship false idols, such as Kung-Fu Jesus or images of the Virgin Mary. In any case, the words don't light up on the page, they light up IN YOUR HEART, thanks to the guiding hand of Jesus.

    [b]You're kidding, right? I mean because if you are, it's pretty funny. Thingie is, I don't th ...[text shortened]... bes the current state of the Spirituality Forum. Have a biscuit, and a rec while you're at it.
    I think the point of the original post was, surely all of the Bible is meant to be equally relevant? If some of it is irrelevant, then how can it be directly inspired by God?

    And which parts of the Bible light up in your heart? All of the NT? Some of the OT? The entire Bible?

    I'm asking what I feel is a reasonable question, i.e. is the OT as relevant as the NT? If not, can we ignore the OT? Can we "interpret" it the way we think it's meant to be interpreted?
  8. Standard memberMaustrauser
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    19 Apr '05 12:01
    Originally posted by PawnCurry
    I think the point of the original post was, surely all of the Bible is meant to be equally relevant? If some of it is irrelevant, then how can it be directly inspired by God?

    [snip] I'm asking what I feel is a reasonable question, i.e. is the OT as relevant as the NT? If not, can we ignore the OT? Can we "interpret" it the way we think it's meant to be interpreted?

    That's a very clear summation of my question. Thank you.
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