HOW ABOUT

Originally posted by catfoodtim
dale21, if you're interested in starting a religion just give me a shout.

couple of questions first:

1)what became of the original bad telepathic snake that caused this whole mess?
2)what did god evolve into? and did it hurt it? ...[text shortened]...
the first ape nation? wow. how do i apply for citizenship?

Well starting a religion does sound appealing, but they have such a bad reputation, so we ll call it an institution...."The Inconceivable Truth"(T.I.T)
I ll be glad to answer your questions.
1)The original Snake was called Santa (why they anagramed it to Satan i ll never know). He was particularly gifted in the art of telepathy and West end market trading. He could sell ice to the eskimos, and of course melons to the apes.
2)God evolved more than once. In fact 47times, called the epok-change, and as he has reached full evo-level, he cant change no more. He started as a snail, and reached apehood by the 4th stage, where he aquired the creation level up ability. Thus making a couple of little versions of himself.
3)Shortly after eating the melon and being cast out, eve found that she got rather hot and swetty, and was rather uncomfortable. Picking up on eves telepathic signal, market trader santa sold her a range of new cosmetic products. One of which was a state of the art Flint bladed razor. After a few painful attempts Eve became far less hairy in vital regions.

Simple.your Citizenship is stil being processed.

Originally posted by catfoodtim
dale21, if you're interested in starting a religion just give me a shout.

couple of questions first:

1)what became of the original bad telepathic snake that caused this whole mess?
2)what did god evolve into? and did it hurt it?
3)what happened to eve's extra hair?

oh bugger its home time. i'm going to quiz you more tomorrow
please.

the first ape nation? wow. how do i apply for citizenship?

scratch yur armpits and beat yur chest! * giggle* thats how you should get citizenship! ^.^

Originally posted by Valdorien
scratch yur armpits and beat yur chest! * giggle* thats how you should get citizenship! ^.^

It takes more than that. consider your citizenship refused.

I have gleaned more from the light.
The ape nation has made itself known to me, but only those with the mark on the forheads will survive. That was at the dawn of time, just after the apes had to progress from melons to grapes.

http://www.thirdstoneartgallery.com/GRAPHICS/apes-n-grapes.JPG

Originally posted by dale21
I have gleaned more from the light.
The ape nation has made itself known to me, but only those with the mark on the forheads will survive. That was at the dawn of time, just after the apes had to progress from melons to grapes.

http://www.thirdstoneartgallery.com/GRAPHICS/apes-n-grapes.JPG

What did I tell you about your great ideas?

P-

Edit! Grape Ideas.....

Now, having had numerous bad incidents in various institutions throughout my young and innocent life I was initially suspicious, I am not afraid to admit, dale21. but after a cup of coffee and a bunch of grapes and a bit of reflection i think i agree. the last religion i got inv ...[text shortened]... y passport before then? I can show you my tickets if that would help.

1)Im sorry to hear about your troubled past. Its not easy growing up in hordes or grease ridden slimeballs after your crown jewels. You will not be asked to give YOUR money to the institution, but rather you must present a substantial amount of someone elses money. No questions will be asked as to the origin of the money. The money is essential for the inauguration ceremony which can last a number of sleepless nights where we have to indulge in a number of ellict practises with the aid of the donation. These acts are reffered to as the essential sins, where drink and women are our top concern.
2)Titles are a must. But not of a high and mighty standard. You may refer to me as KL££N A$$. You may submit a name that will be considered befor the T.I.T commitee.
3)Your quite right in saying many were after Eve's melons. As previously stated however the snake is santa, and he proceeded to become a market trader for a time. He dabbled in magic tricks and rain dancing. He gave that up tho when he had a disagreement with his mate Noah, but thats another story.
4)It seems logical that some mail snails have genitalia on the head. I know a few people on this site that are decendants of such snails, and still proudly show off their Genitals on their forheads.
5)Unfortunately we dont have the capability to produce mini Gods as yet. We are stil recovering the secret intricate and detailed design specifications outlined in the 10 Commandments. but we are getting closer each week.

Enjoy your trip, and bring back a sheep so we can have a B>B>Q, i mean sacrifice. Yours truly KL££N A$$

I sense you stil dont believe...
well here is Eve

http://www.deiman.nl/weird/

Ok Catfoodtim. You have been found acceptable to the religion of "The Inconceivable Truth. Now for the inauguration ceremony.....

*all major credit cards accepted*

i dont think anyone is taking this seriously enough

😛

Originally posted by catfoodtim
now i wish i had reasoning like that.

what did they snake say to the monkey? and did the lady ape bother with fig leaves when she and her mate scoffed the apple. i cant quite get my head around modest chimps, to be honest.

Well it's not modesty , you see . Not in the conventional sense . What the snake said initially to the naked monkey was , "How do you eat with that thing ? I mean , no teeth , pretty small mouth on it , and forget about breathing !" After that , the chimp tried to do all those things , and failing felt he was somehow deformed or short-changed , and therefore hid what he thought was the source of his inadiquacy from everyone with a fig leaf .
The snake in turn , went to eve and told her that her chimp beau was lacking in many skills he was capable of . I'm still trying to figure out how they got onto the melon topic from there .

Originally posted by Moldy Crow
Well it's not modesty , you see . Not in the conventional sense . What the snake said initially to the naked monkey was , "How do you eat with that thing ? I mean , no teeth , pretty small mouth on it , and forget about breathing !" After that , the chimp tried to do all those things , and failing felt he was somehow deformed or short-changed , and the ...[text shortened]... was capable of . I'm still trying to figure out how they got onto the melon topic from there .

Your misguided my friend. as previously stated they were hairy and didnt need fig leaves until the flint handled razor was invented. It was a melon tree that was forbidden. simple really.

Originally posted by dale21
Your misguided my friend. as previously stated they were hairy and didnt need fig leaves until the flint handled razor was invented. It was a melon tree that was forbidden. simple really.

Just the fact that they were hairy would not necessarily mean the hair would cover their pieces/parts thingies . And no one can account for what the snake said to them . I think you are a false prophet . (And melons don't grow on trees . They grow on bushes . )

Originally posted by Moldy Crow
Just the fact that they were hairy would not necessarily mean the hair would cover their pieces/parts thingies . And no one can account for what the snake said to them . I think you are a false prophet . (And melons don't grow on trees . They grow on bushes . )

Hence the reason the tree was forbidden. Whats more the apes only developed genetalia after they left the garden. 😛