What's happened is society has gotten away from referring to their future spouses and expectant partners/lovers. It used to be you'd always hear a single person looking forward in referencing to a potential significant other. Was there anything wrong in so hoping to get married? My goal is to help restore this optimism so one can speak openly about marriage without feeling alienated or estranged from the prevailing culture.
Firstly, no matter which way the culture leans towards, we have to stay true to our values. When couples hold true to marriage (and their beliefs on marriage) this opens up much more possibility over & against a culture that would have us tolerate all kinds of sexual views. The greatest fear is ending up alone, then maybe losing out your vitality. In an area where many struggle with addiction, it's reasoned why they're selling their youth and beauty. The fear... letting one's looks go to waste. By reversing these priorities, do we not risk settling for a lonelier life?
The Simpsons had a recent episode with Comic Book guy and a Japanese bride. The issue of having a baby came up. Responsibility and economic burden give this a reality concerning the family. Unless they are supported from surrounding families or within their own family, kids can't be excluded from early recognition. Although speaking of the possibility of children can dwarf conversation about the married couple, there must be a healthy environment. I hear complaints that religious upbringing causes hostility to illegitimate offspring, but that is often caused by a generational conflict and not because religious teaching is at fault.
One thing I see as good in speaking of a future girlfriend/boyfriend is it can be in an unassuming way. The person from the future does not have to be thought of as a soulmate or somebody predetermined to be with you. Of course, love that can move "forward to the past" is not unheard of in some places. It's just that not everybody has the same romantic aspirations. The mystery person is simply respected for whoever they be. By waiting upon a future friend, a future friend is preparing mindset qualities both may need once it comes to a relationship together (not to say no downsides are resulting_
@of-ants-and-imps saidSociety has abandoned God, and as the bible predicts there will be consequences, now and in the next life.
What's happened is society has gotten away from referring to their future spouses and expectant partners/lovers. It used to be you'd always hear a single person looking forward in referencing to a potential significant other. Was there anything wrong in so hoping to get married? My goal is to help restore this optimism so one can speak openly about marriage without f ...[text shortened]... ities both may need once it comes to a relationship together (not to say no downsides are resulting_
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4 KJV)
@Of-Ants-and-Imps
"When couples hold true to marriage (and their beliefs on marriage) this opens up much more possibility over & against a culture that would have us tolerate all kinds of sexual views."
I think you have this backwards, actually. But it also seems like you want less of a variety of possible relationships, so I'm not sure why you'd see this as a bad thing.
@of-ants-and-imps saidAre you being prevented in any way from upholding whatever marriage-related "virtues" you want? In what way, aside from people perhaps disagreeing with you, do you need to "defend" yourself and your upholding of those "virtues"?
What's happened is society has gotten away from referring to their future spouses and expectant partners/lovers. It used to be you'd always hear a single person looking forward in referencing to a potential significant other. Was there anything wrong in so hoping to get married? My goal is to help restore this optimism so one can speak openly about marriage without f ...[text shortened]... ities both may need once it comes to a relationship together (not to say no downsides are resulting_
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My goal is to help restore this optimism so one can speak openly about marriage without feeling alienated or estranged from the prevailing culture.I think you’ve invented a goal to solve a problem which doesn’t exist.
I’ve never felt a lack of optimism about speaking openly about marriage, I never feel alienated or estranged in the prevailing culture. Other people might do I suppose, but I’ve not met any.
PS I recommend playing some more chess and avoiding Thread 188253
@of-ants-and-imps saidDid something specific bring this on?
What's happened is society has gotten away from referring to their future spouses and expectant partners/lovers. It used to be you'd always hear a single person looking forward in referencing to a potential significant other. Was there anything wrong in so hoping to get married? My goal is to help restore this optimism so one can speak openly about marriage without f ...[text shortened]... ities both may need once it comes to a relationship together (not to say no downsides are resulting_
Are you feeling somehow disenfranchised?
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One thing I see as good in speaking of a future girlfriend/boyfriend is it can be in an unassuming way. The person from the future does not have to be thought of as a soulmate or somebody predetermined to be with you. Of course, love that can move "forward to the past" is not unheard of in some places. It's just that not everybody has the same romantic aspirations. The mystery person is simply respected for whoever they be. By waiting upon a future friend, a future friend is preparing mindset qualities both may need once it comes to a relationship together (not to say no downsides are resulting_
Hi Ants. Since you brought your thoughts to the Spirituality Forum perhaps you think this is a spiritual issue.
We are anxious about the proper partner in life. We are anxious about not being alone. We are anxious about many things.
Spiritually, it is peace enhancing to realize that God knows our needs. And Christ spoke of "your heavenly Father" who knows all of our needs. If we can see into this we will not have to worry. If God has the proper person for you to marry you will find them even if you are on one side of the planet and they are on the other. God can bring you two together.
There is a caveat of importance here. Jesus told the anxious ones "For all these things the Gentiles are anxiously seeking. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matt. 6:32,33)
"His kingdom" means God's realm of chaos is subdued and He governs sweetly, subjectively from within your heart. "His righteousness" suffice it to say for now, that this is more of the same. When God governs from within you are right with God, you are right with yourself, and you are right with others. If course you will be right with the earthly one whom you marry too.
It is like putting first things first and all else will come nicely into line.
But you align your heart with the topmost matter - God and the kingdom of God. And you calibrate your heart toward the central matter - His kingdom and His righteousness. All possible necessary things for human life as are needed the caring Father will provide, and that beyond what you could ask or think.
"[T]he Gentiles" there means all the nations.
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My goal is to help restore this optimism so one can speak openly about marriage without feeling alienated or estranged from the prevailing culture.
The "prevailing culture" will often be like a powerful stream and you a salmon swimming against the current. In Jesus Christ you can prevail against its influence though. Above I wrote that concerning anxiety the heavenly Father knows and is well able to provide for the legitimate things God has created to help sustain human life.
So we should seek first His realm of governing, His Spirit, Himself as our sphere of provision and His righteousness. What else God has provided for man's legitimate existence on earth He is able to grant easily. God you are seeking His will and His kingdom , ie. the very reason for your being here in the first place - "His kingdom and His righteousness".
We need this Speaker of these words to be our Lord and Savior - Jesus Christ. Thought the sinning nature drags the "prevailing culture" down further and further where it hates to go, but can hardly resist, Christ has overcome the world.
Concerning His death and resurrection He taught:
"These things I have spoken to you that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have affliction, but take courage; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
The heavenly Father is the Father of the One who overcame the world and in Whom we can share in His victory against any "prevailing culture".
@of-ants-and-imps saidI am a sociological Catholic still, and I believe I have what can be broadly described as a "Christian" attitude to marriage despite my loss of faith. This means things that I value very highly - almost self-definingly - include:
What's happened is society has gotten away from referring to their future spouses and expectant partners/lovers.
Keep the lifelong promise that one has made. Do not get divorced. Don't commit adultery. Take personal responsibility and turn the other cheek if necessary. Comfort one another. Take the log out of one's own eye and seek forgiveness when there is conflict. Always reaffirm one's love for each other. Do not terminate a pregnancy unless it is to save your wife's life. Children may complicate a marriage but one must put their interests and the interests of one's husband or wife first. And so on and so forth.
I was still a Christian when I got married so there was a load of religious and scriptural "principles" and ideological points in play too at that time. They are gone and they have proved to be non-essential to my married life.
The above is what remains of my supposedly "Christian" attitude to marriage in the wake of my gradual change from believer to non-believer.
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@fmf saidWhy your post got three red thumbs is totally beyond reason.
I am a sociological Catholic still, and I believe I have what can be broadly described as a "Christian" attitude to marriage despite my loss of faith. This means things that I value very highly - almost self-definingly - include:
Keep the lifelong promise that one has made. Do not get divorced. Don't commit adultery. Take personal responsibility and turn the other cheek if ne ...[text shortened]... dly "Christian" attitude to marriage in the wake of my gradual change from believer to non-believer.
I appreciate the responses. Understanding myself spiritually and the role of public-personal identity means conceptualizing, or realizing these issues with a purpose at heart. Thinking that itself isn't one idea, but I was up late at night, turning the switch and hit with a memo. Anyway, a family can look as a duck in a row, then the next moment close to breaking up. We can't have exact expectation or only with religion can there be that, and with vulnerability to race, politics, hobbies; fitness routine, business, schooling, etc. Alright, choosing who to follow because they are going to lead you where you should be, later.