Originally posted by bbarr
Well, I agree with a lot of what you say, but I'm still confused about your main contention. You started off claiming that if man were merely matter, then we couldn't make sense of the importance and value of love. I responded that even if man were merely matter, love wouldn't lose any of its importance or value, because we would still take it seriously i ...[text shortened]... le. I'm not sure what sort of reason you could provide in support of this claim.
Take care,
Cool - thanx for your straightforward and sensible post...
If I can rephrase what I think love is and why I don't think it's based entirely on chemical reactions/emotions. I believe love is based on a combination of two things - if one's missing, it falls apart. They are chemistry and will (them chemical reactions, feelings, emotions and then a will to love).
The necessity of chemistry is obvious: this is usually what gets one together in the first place, this is what keeps marriage exciting and ultimately might make babies. The emotions and feelings of marriage should be sustained not only by nature, but also by will. What often happens is that a couple come together (usually young, niave and infatuated) and are in love for a while and when the chemistry slows down and often dies out, they move out and the marriage falls apart. Emotion-driven couples hardly last.
I think that the term "work on marriage" refers to the will involved in love. You decide to sometimes to go against your emotions and even reason (spend well-earned money on buying her some funny-looking stones on a string, despite her being bitchy and difficult). Decisions (will) lead to consequences and these are to the benefit or detriment of the relationship. What also gives me the notion that love is deeper than chemistry is what one loves (when it comes to long-term commitment) in another person. It's not how sexy or intelligent they are, but their character (which is developed by circumstance, genetics, but mostly decisions, ie will).
While I can understand the chemistry of "natural-selection" - trying to get the best gene to couple with to the next generation - I've seen this infatuation far surpassed by a deeper love (one based on loving each other for
who they are rather than
what they are.
Perhaps we'll find that there's a chemical reaction to explain this behaviour, but I believe it has to do with man being more than chemicals (possessing a consciousness and ability to decide - which can't be explained scientifically). My two-cents, and take care...