faith - A belief in the laws of science, especially laws that have not been personally proven by the believer. For example, when I drive my car over a bridge, I trust the bridge will hold, despite my lack of training as a structural engineer. Exactly the same as believing that God, Angels and Demons exist.
religion - The Sunday ritual practiced by stuffy, grumpy, hymnal-reading old saps in lieu of a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
contradiction - Something that is never found in the Bible, if it is read creatively, as God intended.
righteousness - 1. Anything God does, even killing a bunch of unarmed civilians. 2. A standard that is impossible for humans to live up to. One strike, you're out. If you've ever noticed that your neighbor's wife is hot, this means you!
tithe - An ancient Hebrew custom that must be preserved several thousand years later, because the church runs on cash.
atheist - 1. Myth Someone who does not believe in God. 2. A total Anarchist with no respect for any law. Believes in survival of the fittest. Will steal, rape, and even murder, as long as it gains a personal advantage. 3. A hairy, uncouth vagabond who sleeps in on Sundays and watches football games in the afternoon while consuming copious amounts of junk food and beer while ogling scantily dressed cheerleaders.