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Modern Christian Dictionary

Modern Christian Dictionary

Spirituality

BigDogg
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faith - A belief in the laws of science, especially laws that have not been personally proven by the believer. For example, when I drive my car over a bridge, I trust the bridge will hold, despite my lack of training as a structural engineer. Exactly the same as believing that God, Angels and Demons exist.

religion - The Sunday ritual practiced by stuffy, grumpy, hymnal-reading old saps in lieu of a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

contradiction - Something that is never found in the Bible, if it is read creatively, as God intended.

righteousness - 1. Anything God does, even killing a bunch of unarmed civilians. 2. A standard that is impossible for humans to live up to. One strike, you're out. If you've ever noticed that your neighbor's wife is hot, this means you!

tithe - An ancient Hebrew custom that must be preserved several thousand years later, because the church runs on cash.

atheist - 1. Myth Someone who does not believe in God. 2. A total Anarchist with no respect for any law. Believes in survival of the fittest. Will steal, rape, and even murder, as long as it gains a personal advantage. 3. A hairy, uncouth vagabond who sleeps in on Sundays and watches football games in the afternoon while consuming copious amounts of junk food and beer while ogling scantily dressed cheerleaders.

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Kichigai!

Osaka

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Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
[b]faith - A belief in the laws of science, especially laws that have not been personally proven by the believer. For example, when I drive my car over a bridge, I trust the bridge will hold, despite my lack of training as a structural engineer. Exactly the same as believing that God, Angels and Demons exist.

religion - The Sunday ritual e consuming copious amounts of junk food and beer while ogling scantily dressed cheerleaders.[/b]
"faith" is slightly wrong I think. You need to emphasize that for true believers faith does not require any evidence of any type and, indeed, can still exist irrespective of the evidence.

I believe a more relevant example would be when you drive your bridge towards a river and expect a bridge to materialise (and, indeed, hold your weight) irrespective of the bridge not physically existsing.

"atheist" sounds quite tempting when you put it that way.... wish i had time to ogle cheerleeders and drink beer on my sundays...

J

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Originally posted by scottishinnz
wish i had time to ogle cheerleeders and drink beer on my sundays...
Personally I would rather ogle beer and drink cheerleaders...

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