Modern Christian Dictionary

faith - A belief in the laws of science, especially laws that have not been personally proven by the believer. For example, when I drive my car over a bridge, I trust the bridge will hold, despite my lack of training as a structural engineer. Exactly the same as believing that God, Angels and Demons exist.

religion - The Sunday ritual practiced by stuffy, grumpy, hymnal-reading old saps in lieu of a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

contradiction - Something that is never found in the Bible, if it is read creatively, as God intended.

righteousness - 1. Anything God does, even killing a bunch of unarmed civilians. 2. A standard that is impossible for humans to live up to. One strike, you're out. If you've ever noticed that your neighbor's wife is hot, this means you!

tithe - An ancient Hebrew custom that must be preserved several thousand years later, because the church runs on cash.

atheist - 1. Myth Someone who does not believe in God. 2. A total Anarchist with no respect for any law. Believes in survival of the fittest. Will steal, rape, and even murder, as long as it gains a personal advantage. 3. A hairy, uncouth vagabond who sleeps in on Sundays and watches football games in the afternoon while consuming copious amounts of junk food and beer while ogling scantily dressed cheerleaders.

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
[b]faith - A belief in the laws of science, especially laws that have not been personally proven by the believer. For example, when I drive my car over a bridge, I trust the bridge will hold, despite my lack of training as a structural engineer. Exactly the same as believing that God, Angels and Demons exist.

religion - The Sunday ritual e consuming copious amounts of junk food and beer while ogling scantily dressed cheerleaders.[/b]

"faith" is slightly wrong I think. You need to emphasize that for true believers faith does not require any evidence of any type and, indeed, can still exist irrespective of the evidence.

I believe a more relevant example would be when you drive your bridge towards a river and expect a bridge to materialise (and, indeed, hold your weight) irrespective of the bridge not physically existsing.

"atheist" sounds quite tempting when you put it that way.... wish i had time to ogle cheerleeders and drink beer on my sundays...

Originally posted by scottishinnz
wish i had time to ogle cheerleeders and drink beer on my sundays...

Personally I would rather ogle beer and drink cheerleaders...