1. Joined
    10 Jan '08
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    10260
    28 Dec '08 04:25
    this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

    yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really care what the first time is like but she didn't believe me and insisted, no begged me to show her what to do. at first i wanted to resist but the more she persisted the more attractive she became to me in those sexy brown rags. i gave in, i did it, i showed her what a guy wants. i showed her twice, 3 times and then a forth. the girl was a natural.

    when i returned this morning i was shocked to see the world as it is now, the land i left was peaceful. al core was the president of the usa and there hadn't been a war in years...no man woman or child was going hungry on the streets anywhere in the world....there was no rich and no poor, no classes, no hatred...we lived in peace and with respect to our fellow men and woman.

    but this world i come back to, this land of evil, of fakeness, of manipulation of the weak, of fear of foreign land, of foreign people created by the media created by our governments. we didn't have religion in my world, we didn't have global warming or the current crises in the middle east, afghanistan and the millions starving in africa. my land was free this world, the world that was created the day i went back all those years ago, this land the only land you know to be true, this is the land thats built on lies, on fear, on political imcompetance and on the stupidity of the masses. this land, your land was all created by one woman, one small woman 2009 years ago who cheated on her husband and lied. lied about being a virgin, lied about the miracle son of god being born, she's a whore a liar and has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.
  2. Standard memberbill718
    Enigma
    Seattle
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    28 Dec '08 04:42
    Originally posted by trev33
    this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

    yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really ...[text shortened]... has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.
    You've skipped over a few things here. People 2009 years ago had basically the same problems they do today. Political and economic repression, religious heresy, domestic violence, and dishonest business practices were common. The scene 2009 years ago was not the picture of paradise you are painting! As far as Mary was concerned, she was a woman like any other, with sexual desires like any other. Weather you accept the concept of a virgin birth as stated in the Bible is not really imporntant. Your story has so many holes in it that it would not even make a decent rag! 😏
  3. Subscriberdivegeester
    reality bites
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    28 Dec '08 13:22
    Originally posted by trev33
    this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

    yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really ...[text shortened]... has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.
    Better nip off in your time machine again then, before someone sends your post to the CSA and you have to face up to your responsibilities.
  4. Joined
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    28 Dec '08 17:43
    Originally posted by bill718
    You've skipped over a few things here. People 2009 years ago had basically the same problems they do today. Political and economic repression, religious heresy, domestic violence, and dishonest business practices were common. The scene 2009 years ago was not the picture of paradise you are painting! As far as Mary was concerned, she was a woman like any othe ...[text shortened]... lly imporntant. Your story has so many holes in it that it would not even make a decent rag! 😏
    my utopia i'm preaching is not one from 2009 years ago, i do not know of that time...my paradise was in my time, this time but before i went back 2009 years.

    you clearly missed the point entirely.

    a fictional story can't have holes in it....just like the bible, it doesn't have fit into the possibilities of reality and it doesn't have to be believed or taken seriously.
  5. Unknown Territories
    Joined
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    28 Dec '08 19:25
    Originally posted by trev33
    this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

    yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really ...[text shortened]... has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.
    You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.
  6. Donationrwingett
    Ming the Merciless
    Royal Oak, MI
    Joined
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    28 Dec '08 22:14
    Originally posted by FreakyKBH
    You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.
    I'm not quite sure why. Joseph seemed to be alright with the idea of third parties impregnating his wife. Maybe if Joseph took that time machine to the future, he could cash in big by doing Viagra commercials. I can see it now:

    Joseph: Hi, I'm Joseph, a real nobody from the first century. But if I had some Viagra back then, I wouldn't have had to rely on god to artificially inseminate my wife. Don't rely on prayer to cure your ED. Try something that really works. Try Viagra. I wish I had.

    Narrator: Side effects may include incurring god's holy wrath, rivers turning to blood, plagues of frogs, gnats and flies, disease, boils, hail mixed with fire, locusts, darkness and death.
  7. Joined
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    28 Dec '08 23:03
    Originally posted by FreakyKBH
    You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.
    that's not very christian like and on this the sabbath day...for shame...you sir are going to rot in hell for all eternity.

    for shame.

    say hello to marry for me.
  8. Subscriberdivegeester
    reality bites
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    28 Dec '08 23:181 edit
    Originally posted by trev33
    that's not very christian like and on this the sabbath day...for shame...you sir are going to rot in hell for all eternity.

    for shame.

    say hello to marry for me.
    No, it isn't very christian like at all, (excellent observation). Although I think yesterday was actually the sabbath (not so good observation) so he may escape hell on that religious technicality; and anyway I'm sure Mary wouldn't be interested in him after experiencing your manly millennial-transending powers of seduction.
  9. Joined
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    28 Dec '08 23:38
    Originally posted by FreakyKBH
    You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.
    And with Mohammad he would be minus a head.
  10. Joined
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    29 Dec '08 00:43
    Originally posted by divegeester
    Although I think yesterday was actually the sabbath
    i thought the jewish sabbath was on a saturday but the christian sabbath was on a sunday....i could be wrong though.
  11. Hmmm . . .
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    29 Dec '08 05:43
    Originally posted by trev33
    i thought the jewish sabbath was on a saturday but the christian sabbath was on a sunday....i could be wrong though.
    The Jewish sabbath runs from sundown Friday till sundown Saturday.
  12. Joined
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    30 Dec '08 01:51
    Originally posted by rwingett
    I'm not quite sure why. Joseph seemed to be alright with the idea of third parties impregnating his wife. Maybe if Joseph took that time machine to the future, he could cash in big by doing Viagra commercials. I can see it now:

    Joseph: Hi, I'm Joseph, a real nobody from the first century. But if I had some Viagra back then, I wouldn't have had to rely on ...[text shortened]... frogs, gnats and flies, disease, boils, hail mixed with fire, locusts, darkness and death.
    These blasphemous remarks need to be censored.
  13. Donationrwingett
    Ming the Merciless
    Royal Oak, MI
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    30 Dec '08 01:54
    Originally posted by ale1552
    These blasphemous remarks need to be censored.
    You should put a smiley face at the end of your post to let people know you're joking. They might think you're serious otherwise.
  14. Standard memberSwissGambit
    Caninus Interruptus
    2014.05.01
    Joined
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    30 Dec '08 02:052 edits
    Originally posted by ale1552
    These blasphemous remarks need to be censored.
    Why?

    It puts me in mind of Judges 6:31:
    31 But Joash said to all who stood against him, “Would you plead for Baal? Would you save him? Let the one who would plead for him be put to death by morning! If he is a god, let him plead for himself, because his altar has been torn down!”
  15. Joined
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    30 Dec '08 04:091 edit
    Originally posted by rwingett
    You should put a smiley face at the end of your post to let people know you're joking. They might think you're serious otherwise.
    obviously it's worst trying to get joseph a little extra money to pay for the divorce proceedings than it is calling the mother of 'the son of god' a liar and a whore.

    i'm starting to like this new world.

    did you know you can pay a 16 year old chinese girl to slap you in the arse and call you daddy while riding the bull.

    **o yeah bitch, daddies been bad...oh harder, harder bitch**

    **say my name bitch, say my name**
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