Newsflash: jesus thwarted by satan!
18 Nov '18 05:302 editsNEWSFLASH: THIS JUST IN FROM OUR ETERNITY CORESPONDENT
It has been reported by a reliable source in hell that there are billions of souls being cast into what is being described as a “lake of fire”. We are told that the lake itself is colossal and that it is impossible to see the far shoreline, but what we do know is that that Jesus, aka in Revelation as “the Lamb” is overseeing the increasing numbers of people being “cast into the lake”.
Reports are coming in that this is being seen as a massive personal defeat for Jesus who was until recently, claiming the ultimate Calvary victory over his arch rival Lucifer, aka “Satan”. In a rare interview Satan is quoted as being “delighted” with the outcome and claimed to have billions of more souls being cast into the Lake ... by Jesus own angels no less, than are being “saved.”
Interviewer: Satan, divegeester here from ‘RHP Forum News’, are you claiming a victory in this battle for humanity?
Satan: Certainly! Ok I know the game isn’t over and I’m likely to get thrown in myself but just look at the billions I’ve got in the Lake already.
Interviewer: as we understand it Jesus has been also claiming victory by his “sacrifice” at Calvary in AD 33 where he did in fact pay the price for the sins of the entire world in that astonishing act of holy altruistism. We understand that it is written that he “died once and for all”. What do have to say to that?
Satan: look matey, just look...billions upon billions of humans in the lake of fire and Jesus himself overseeing it for me!! LOOK the evidence is right there, in terms of humanity, in terms of numbers in the lake, I’ve won, simples. It says in Jesus own words that his is the “little flock”, well he is dead right there ....... hahahahahaha!!!
Interviewer to camera: well on this basis it certainly is difficult to deny Satan the victory in terms of numbers in the lake of fire that is for sure. We are trying to get a interview with some of Jesus followers at RHP about what is actually literal in the book of Revelation, but at the moment no one has been willing to come forward and there seems to be a reluctance to be unequivocal about what is and was isn’t actually written. But I have to say it’s not looking good for the Messiah at this stage.
More later....
It has been reported by a reliable source in hell that there are billions of souls being cast into what is being described as a “lake of fire”. We are told that the lake itself is colossal and that it is impossible to see the far shoreline, but what we do know is that that Jesus, aka in Revelation as “the Lamb” is overseeing the increasing numbers of people being “cast into the lake”.
Reports are coming in that this is being seen as a massive personal defeat for Jesus who was until recently, claiming the ultimate Calvary victory over his arch rival Lucifer, aka “Satan”. In a rare interview Satan is quoted as being “delighted” with the outcome and claimed to have billions of more souls being cast into the Lake ... by Jesus own angels no less, than are being “saved.”
Interviewer: Satan, divegeester here from ‘RHP Forum News’, are you claiming a victory in this battle for humanity?
Satan: Certainly! Ok I know the game isn’t over and I’m likely to get thrown in myself but just look at the billions I’ve got in the Lake already.
Interviewer: as we understand it Jesus has been also claiming victory by his “sacrifice” at Calvary in AD 33 where he did in fact pay the price for the sins of the entire world in that astonishing act of holy altruistism. We understand that it is written that he “died once and for all”. What do have to say to that?
Satan: look matey, just look...billions upon billions of humans in the lake of fire and Jesus himself overseeing it for me!! LOOK the evidence is right there, in terms of humanity, in terms of numbers in the lake, I’ve won, simples. It says in Jesus own words that his is the “little flock”, well he is dead right there ....... hahahahahaha!!!
Interviewer to camera: well on this basis it certainly is difficult to deny Satan the victory in terms of numbers in the lake of fire that is for sure. We are trying to get a interview with some of Jesus followers at RHP about what is actually literal in the book of Revelation, but at the moment no one has been willing to come forward and there seems to be a reluctance to be unequivocal about what is and was isn’t actually written. But I have to say it’s not looking good for the Messiah at this stage.
More later....
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