1. Standard membermokko
    Sinner
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    21 Jul '05 05:38
    So there I was snoozing in the early hours of the morning when a faint ringing began drowning out my dream. This usual annoyance is normally temporary and easily ignored. However this morning it became quite clear that it wasn't going to be ignored. Stumbling and grumbling I went down the stairs, giving the cat a little kick in my frustration.

    "Hello"

    "Hello, you have a collect call from God, will you accept the charges?"

    "What?"

    "A collect call from God, Will you accept the charges?"

    "Is this some sort of joke?"

    "No, he says you shouldn't take it out on the cat and just accept the charges already, it's rather urgent."

    "Fine, I'll pay and play"

    " Hello, Mokko?"

    "Who the heck is this?"

    "This is God, we need to talk."

    "We couldn't do this on your dime?"

    "Don't argue finances with me Mokko, I've always provided. Anyhow I've noticed your questioning nature of late and thought mabye I could help clear some things up for you."

    "Like what? Are you going to give me all the answers to the worlds greatest mysteries or something?"

    "Don't be stupid. I just wanted to let you know that knowledge is the key and the lock can be found within your heart."

    "This is what you woke me up for? To insult me and talk in riddles."

    "Well lets face facts here, you're no mental giant at the best of times, but I'm impressed at your eagerness to learn and your desire for truth. Before you get discouraged I wanted you to know that you're walking the winding path of a thousand feet."

    "Huh?"

    "You'll figure it out, If your cat can then there's hope for you."

    "You're a bit of a jerk for being God and all. Waking me up just to talk smack. But if you are God then there must be a reason behind your actions. A greater purpose in the grand sheme of things."

    "Not really, I mostly torment crazy people for kicks but I still try to do what I can."

    "But you're God, why not save all of humanity or feed the hungry, something miraculous like that."

    "I give up on that centuries ago, always pleasing others and never doing what I enjoy. Well this is my milennium to kick back and have a little fun. Besides it's not like the suffering is going anywhere, all things in good time."

    "So is that it? Are we done here? I'm a mental midget on some mystical journey so you called to play cheerleader. Cool. Way to go God, you're a true hero."

    "I just knew the fastest way to spread the message would be through the biggest gossip around. You and I both know you're not really such a tough nut Mokko. Just do what comes naturally and help others to obtain the key to unlocking their hearts as well. Love and peace child."

    click

    All this before my morning coffee was tough to take. Putting on a fresh pot I had to wonder momentarily if I was still in bed dreaming. I sharp scratch of cat claws on my leg soon assured me I was not. Looking down at my ornery little kitty I pondered the words of God.

    ......If your cat can then there's hope for you......

    Jerk.

    Upon that first sip of magical morning brew the wheels began spinning, my thoughts began twisting into action and a great thing transpired in the blink of a cats eye. I discovered the lock God had referred to. He was right, it was there almost buried within the confines of my own heart all along. All I need now is the key.

    The wonders we hold inside of ourselves cannot be opened by the sheer will of God, only through guidance and encouragement to seek answers for ourselves and obtain knowledge which will enable us to unlock our hearts while opening our minds.

    Now if you'll excuse me I hear my bed calling and it will not be ignored. 😴
  2. Joined
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    4640
    21 Jul '05 07:26
    Originally posted by mokko
    So there I was snoozing in the early hours of the morning when a faint ringing began drowning out my dream. This usual annoyance is normally temporary and easily ignored. However this morning it became quite clear that it wasn't going to be ignored. Stumbling and grumbling I went down the stairs, giving the cat a little kick in my frustration...
    Good job!

    This God dude of yours has some moxy...I can think of a certain devil he might like talking "smack" with... 😉
  3. Standard membermokko
    Sinner
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    21 Jul '05 07:48
    Originally posted by Metamorphosis
    Good job!

    This God dude of yours has some moxy...I can think of a certain devil he might like talking "smack" with... 😉
    Inspiration my dear watson! 😉
  4. Standard memberBosse de Nage
    Zellulärer Automat
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    21 Jul '05 08:37
    Hey, that wasn't bad at all. Homespun, but flattering nonetheless.

    How much was your bill for the collect call?
  5. Standard memberfrogstomp
    Bruno's Ghost
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    21 Jul '05 15:41
    Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
    Hey, that wasn't bad at all. Homespun, but flattering nonetheless.

    How much was your bill for the collect call?
    The last time He called me collect , He put me on hold. Lol I got a real revelation about something that even He can't do : God cannot create any form of life in Musak.
  6. Joined
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    21 Jul '05 15:49
    Originally posted by frogstomp
    The last time He called me collect , He put me on hold. Lol I got a real revelation about something that even He can't do : God cannot create any form of life in Musak.
    lol
  7. Standard membermokko
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    21 Jul '05 22:46
    Originally posted by Bosse de Nage

    How much was your bill for the collect call?[/b]
    Just got it today, you'll never believe it. The call cost me 1 million bucks! Steaming over this little "joke" from God I went to the store to buy smokes (help calm my nerves). While there I check my lottery ticket and BAM I won a million dollers. So I guess the call was free?!
  8. Standard memberWulebgr
    Angler
    River City
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    22 Jul '05 03:57
    Originally posted by mokko
    Just got it today, you'll never believe it. The call cost me 1 million bucks! Steaming over this little "joke" from God I went to the store to buy smokes (help calm my nerves). While there I check my lottery ticket and BAM I won a million dollers. So I guess the call was free?!
    no taxes?

    none left from that million for your RHP subscription?

    I think you're pulling my leg. I don't belive you really got a call from god. I think your friends are playing a joke on you, and that they let you pay the bill with Monopoly money.
  9. Standard membertelerion
    True X X Xian
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    22 Jul '05 04:12
    Originally posted by mokko
    Just got it today, you'll never believe it. The call cost me 1 million bucks! Steaming over this little "joke" from God I went to the store to buy smokes (help calm my nerves). While there I check my lottery ticket and BAM I won a million dollers. So I guess the call was free?!
    Wow! Who sent you the bill? I'd like to know who has phone coverage rights in Heaven.

    Actually, it would help me more if I knew who had rights to Hell.
  10. Standard memberfrogstomp
    Bruno's Ghost
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    22 Jul '05 04:23
    Originally posted by telerion
    Wow! Who sent you the bill? I'd like to know who has phone coverage rights in Heaven.

    Actually, it would help me more if I knew who had rights to Hell.
    Ma Bell
  11. Standard membermokko
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    22 Jul '05 04:38
    Originally posted by Wulebgr
    no taxes?

    none left from that million for your RHP subscription?

    I think you're pulling my leg. I don't belive you really got a call from god. I think your friends are playing a joke on you, and that they let you pay the bill with Monopoly money.
    In Canada lottery winnings are tax free.

    All spent on my lousy phone bill :'(

    Can I get a subscription with my monopoly money?
  12. Standard membermokko
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    22 Jul '05 04:39
    Originally posted by telerion
    Wow! Who sent you the bill? I'd like to know who has phone coverage rights in Heaven.

    Actually, it would help me more if I knew who had rights to Hell.
    Telus mobility own both
  13. Standard memberWulebgr
    Angler
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    22 Jul '05 04:46
    Originally posted by mokko
    In Canada lottery winnings are tax free.
    Wow! I didn't know that. Tax free lottery + President Bush makes Canada appealing. I only need move a few miles north. Any jobs up there for Yanks?
  14. Standard membermokko
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    22 Jul '05 17:09
    Originally posted by Wulebgr
    Wow! I didn't know that. Tax free lottery + President Bush makes Canada appealing. I only need move a few miles north. Any jobs up there for Yanks?
    Only in Alberta......
  15. Standard memberWulebgr
    Angler
    River City
    Joined
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    22 Jul '05 21:33
    Originally posted by mokko
    Only in Alberta......
    Must be what Neil Diamond thinks about when he sings, "I'm Alberta bound..."
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