Purley For Comedy Value....
23 Feb '08 08:01Put this in general, decided it was better here.... No offense is intended to anyone.... and it is kinda funny.... Check out the Catholicism, Jehovah's witness and Chauvinism ones
S**t
# Taoism: S**t happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "S**t happens."
# Buddhism: If S**t happens, it isn't really S**t.
# Zen Buddhism: S**t is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of S**t happening?
# Hinduism: This S**t has happened before.
# Islam: If S**t happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If S**t happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If S**t happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If S**t happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let S**t happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This S**t was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if S**t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if S**t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: S**t that happens to one person is just as good as S**t that happens to another.
# Unitarian: S**t that happens to one person is just as bad as S**t that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If S**t happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If S**t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If S**t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: S**t must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this S**t always happen to us?
# Calvinism: S**t happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No S**t shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all S**t so how could this S**t have turned into that S**t.
# Secular Humanism: S**t evolves.
# Christian Science: When S**t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: S**t happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this S**t.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this S**t.
# Utopianism: This S**t does not stink.
# Darwinism: This S**t was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY S**t.
# Communism: It's everybody's S**t.
# Feminism: Men are S**t.
# Chauvinism: We may be S**t, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this S**t.
# Impressionism: From a distance, S**t looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this S**t.
# Existentialism: S**t doesn't happen; S**t IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is S**t, anyway?
# Stoicism: This S**t is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good S**t happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this S**t
# Mormonism #2: This S**t is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let S**t happen.
# Scientology: If S**t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< S**t happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our S**t?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: S**t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy S**t happens.
# Hare Krishna: S**t happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this S**t!
# Zoroastrianism: S**t happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB S**t.
# Practical: Deal with S**t one day at a time.
# Agnostic: S**t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone S**t?
# Agnostic #3: What is this S**t?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What S**t?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this S**t!
# Nihilism: No S**t.
S**t
# Taoism: S**t happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "S**t happens."
# Buddhism: If S**t happens, it isn't really S**t.
# Zen Buddhism: S**t is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of S**t happening?
# Hinduism: This S**t has happened before.
# Islam: If S**t happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If S**t happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If S**t happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If S**t happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let S**t happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This S**t was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if S**t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if S**t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: S**t that happens to one person is just as good as S**t that happens to another.
# Unitarian: S**t that happens to one person is just as bad as S**t that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If S**t happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If S**t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If S**t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: S**t must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this S**t always happen to us?
# Calvinism: S**t happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No S**t shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all S**t so how could this S**t have turned into that S**t.
# Secular Humanism: S**t evolves.
# Christian Science: When S**t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: S**t happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this S**t.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this S**t.
# Utopianism: This S**t does not stink.
# Darwinism: This S**t was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY S**t.
# Communism: It's everybody's S**t.
# Feminism: Men are S**t.
# Chauvinism: We may be S**t, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this S**t.
# Impressionism: From a distance, S**t looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this S**t.
# Existentialism: S**t doesn't happen; S**t IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is S**t, anyway?
# Stoicism: This S**t is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good S**t happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this S**t
# Mormonism #2: This S**t is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let S**t happen.
# Scientology: If S**t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< S**t happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our S**t?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: S**t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy S**t happens.
# Hare Krishna: S**t happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this S**t!
# Zoroastrianism: S**t happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB S**t.
# Practical: Deal with S**t one day at a time.
# Agnostic: S**t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone S**t?
# Agnostic #3: What is this S**t?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What S**t?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this S**t!
# Nihilism: No S**t.
Back to Top