Originally posted by kirksey957
Pritybetta has chosen the passage of Luke 16:19-31 for the next round. Same rules apply. Deadline is midnight Saturday.
Here goes. Please forgive my spelling, I've put a beat down on a significant number of screwdrivers. Its imperative that I hit the vodka hard to get inot the spirit of the Reverend Billy Bob Blackhand.
Reverend Blackhand's humble Church is opressively stuffy and the air itself has an almost palpable presence. Fitting really, considering Billy Bob's dark mood. His congregation is happily muttering and grumbling away, waiting casually for him to start his sermon. The reverend Blackhand grips the cover of his shiny new bible, shakes off the last vestiges of a hangover and prepares to lay into his complacent followers.
"Brothers and Sisters let's come do gether if you please," utters the Reverend Billy Bob Blackhand in a foreboding voice. The Reverend waits in studied patience for his flock to gather themselves and starts with,"I've seen hard times in this town, long nights of woe and subtle turns of fate that have done many a good man wrong. For many months a dark cloud seemed to have settled over us and many temptations to follow the worn path of the easy road have plagued us all. But, we have persevered, we have stayed strong and followed the righteous word of God."
"God has guided us through these dark times and, in what seems to many like simple twists of fate, has brought us full circle to an easy life of prosperity. While many around us still struggle to meet clear life's hurdles, we have had a clear path, a gentle slope to climb and many of us have seen better days than God has ever graced us with before."
"I see prosperity breeding contempt my Brothers and Sisters. I see money flowing into this community that could have just as easily passed us by. I've seen those most blessed amongst us quickly forget the dire straits they found themselves in just short months before. Worse yet, I've seen these same people, many gathered with us here today, ignore the continued plight of their brothers and sisters still struggling to get on the right path."
"I warn you, nay, I declare to you that such high handed complecency in the face of God given prosperity is among the surest roads to Hell. I must tell you of Jesus's account of the Rich Man and Lazarus in the book of Luke. The rich man wallowed in his wealth and prosperity, oblivious to the suffering of those around him. Most poignantly our rich friend ignored the terrible sufferings of a beggar that languished exquisite agony infront of his luxurious dwelling. As could be expected, Lazarus ultimately died to find a destitute life rewarded by great comforts in a new life with God."
"Our rich friend perished himself sometime later and found hinself burning in the fires of Hades. Such torments he suffers still are unimaginable to us. Across the chasm of Hell, our rich friend called out to Lazarus and begged him to alieve his suffering. Sadly, Lazarus was powerless to help. Our friend regretted his life of wealth and privelege and begged Lazarous to warn his bretheren to change their lives or suffer the consequences. This Lazarus could not do and Abraham spoke to our rich suplicant with the sage wisdom that,'They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them. If they do not hear Moses and the prohphets, neither will they be persuaded by one risen from the dead.'"
"This is a true testament of the poverty of abundance. Listen well my brothers and sisters as this life is short and you'll quickly find yourself burning in eternal torment next to our wealthy brother. Do not become complacent in the worldly wealth God's providence has granted you. Your contempt for those less fortunate than you will leave you poorer in the next life. Surely those that do not follow God's will will find themselves on a slippery road to Hell."
"I counsel you to be charatable my friends. Let your good fortune lead you to helping your brothers and sisters. Now let us pray and reflect upon the book of Luke and the cautionary tale that Jesus has given to us."
The Reverend Billy Bob Blackhand looks out over his flock and feels content that he has guided them to a better path. Hopefully their new found cahrity will find its way into the offering box before this Sunday is out.