Storks

Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory
of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour
of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught
in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth.
Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This
can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the
theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately
nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a
newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of
sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where
sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive
correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are
decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific
methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
stork.

I have always thought it was the Stork! Now I know for sure. Sure, you call it a theory, but I have faith. Thank you for this revelation. You made my day.
🙂

Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory
of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour
of the theory of the stork. If the ...[text shortened]... scientific
methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
stork.

We all know that storks bring babies. There is an old folk saying from Mazovia region: "kle kle kle bocianie, przynies mi dziecko w galganie" (meaning: "stork bring me a baby in a bundle"😉. So if you notice a stork on top of your house, you may soon expect a baby to be born – at least that is what people say...

Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory
of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour
of the theory of the stork. If the ...[text shortened]... scientific
methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
stork.

Are you attempting to make a point or was this purely for humor?

eg. evolution-ID debate.

Originally posted by Halitose
Are you attempting to make a point or was this purely for humor?

eg. evolution-ID debate.

You're kidding, right? The Stork-Sexual Reproduction debate is all the rage now. The TOE-ID debate is old news.

Originally posted by David C
You're kidding, right? The Stork-Sexual Reproduction debate is all the rage now. The TOE-ID debate is old news.

lol

Originally posted by David C
You're kidding, right? The Stork-Sexual Reproduction debate is all the rage now. The TOE-ID debate is old news.

Yeah, the now that we have solved that issue once and for all, it is time to explain where babies come from

Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
Yeah, the now that we have solved that issue once and for all, it is time to explain where babies come from

That's simple : Babies are deposited down chimneys by storks using elastic beaks when nobody is looking.

Originally posted by frogstomp
That's simple : Babies are deposited down chimneys by storks using elastic beaks when nobody is looking.

Talk about a cross between base-jumping and bungeeeee.

Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

You forgot the following:
1. A baby is a clear example of "irreducible complexity". one moment nothing the next moment a living breating baby. Definately the work of a stork delivery system.
2. We cannot ignore the wisdom of our forebears which documents the stork theory in countless books.
3. In the theory of Sexual Reproduction it is stated that a tiny sperm can find a tiny egg after travelling a large distance (from the sperms point of view). This is clearly mathematically improbable.
4. We surely dont want to be teaching our young children about sex in school anyway so the stork theory is more socially acceptable.
5. There are plenty of willing donors for the textbook "Of Storks and People" so it will cut down on our education costs.