1. Standard memberUmbrageOfSnow
    All Bark, No Bite
    Playing percussion
    Joined
    13 Jul '05
    Moves
    13232
    15 Nov '05 23:43
    Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory
    of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
    the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
    at school.

    In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour
    of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught
    in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth.
    Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

    Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

    1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This
    can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

    2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the
    theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

    3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately
    nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a
    newborn child is newborn.

    4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of
    sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where
    sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

    5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive
    correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are
    decreasing.

    6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific
    methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
    stork.
  2. Standard memberRemoved
    Joined
    08 Dec '04
    Moves
    100919
    16 Nov '05 01:23
    I have always thought it was the Stork! Now I know for sure. Sure, you call it a theory, but I have faith. Thank you for this revelation. You made my day.
    🙂
  3. Standard memberfrogstomp
    Bruno's Ghost
    In a hot place
    Joined
    11 Sep '04
    Moves
    7707
    16 Nov '05 02:20
    Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
    Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory
    of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
    the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
    at school.

    In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour
    of the theory of the stork. If the ...[text shortened]... scientific
    methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
    stork.
    We all know that storks bring babies. There is an old folk saying from Mazovia region: "kle kle kle bocianie, przynies mi dziecko w galganie" (meaning: "stork bring me a baby in a bundle"😉. So if you notice a stork on top of your house, you may soon expect a baby to be born – at least that is what people say...
  4. Standard memberHalitose
    I stink, ergo I am
    On the rebound
    Joined
    14 Jul '05
    Moves
    4464
    16 Nov '05 05:45
    Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
    Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory
    of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in
    the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory
    at school.

    In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour
    of the theory of the stork. If the ...[text shortened]... scientific
    methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the
    stork.
    Are you attempting to make a point or was this purely for humor?

    eg. evolution-ID debate.
  5. Standard memberDavid C
    Flamenco Sketches
    Spain, in spirit
    Joined
    09 Sep '04
    Moves
    59422
    16 Nov '05 13:59
    Originally posted by Halitose
    Are you attempting to make a point or was this purely for humor?

    eg. evolution-ID debate.
    You're kidding, right? The Stork-Sexual Reproduction debate is all the rage now. The TOE-ID debate is old news.
  6. Standard memberHalitose
    I stink, ergo I am
    On the rebound
    Joined
    14 Jul '05
    Moves
    4464
    16 Nov '05 14:14
    Originally posted by David C
    You're kidding, right? The Stork-Sexual Reproduction debate is all the rage now. The TOE-ID debate is old news.
    lol
  7. Standard memberUmbrageOfSnow
    All Bark, No Bite
    Playing percussion
    Joined
    13 Jul '05
    Moves
    13232
    17 Nov '05 05:04
    Originally posted by David C
    You're kidding, right? The Stork-Sexual Reproduction debate is all the rage now. The TOE-ID debate is old news.
    Yeah, the now that we have solved that issue once and for all, it is time to explain where babies come from
  8. Standard memberfrogstomp
    Bruno's Ghost
    In a hot place
    Joined
    11 Sep '04
    Moves
    7707
    17 Nov '05 09:06
    Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
    Yeah, the now that we have solved that issue once and for all, it is time to explain where babies come from
    That's simple : Babies are deposited down chimneys by storks using elastic beaks when nobody is looking.
  9. Standard memberHalitose
    I stink, ergo I am
    On the rebound
    Joined
    14 Jul '05
    Moves
    4464
    17 Nov '05 10:32
    Originally posted by frogstomp
    That's simple : Babies are deposited down chimneys by storks using elastic beaks when nobody is looking.
    Talk about a cross between base-jumping and bungeeeee.
  10. Cape Town
    Joined
    14 Apr '05
    Moves
    52945
    17 Nov '05 11:001 edit
    Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnow
    Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:
    You forgot the following:
    1. A baby is a clear example of "irreducible complexity". one moment nothing the next moment a living breating baby. Definately the work of a stork delivery system.
    2. We cannot ignore the wisdom of our forebears which documents the stork theory in countless books.
    3. In the theory of Sexual Reproduction it is stated that a tiny sperm can find a tiny egg after travelling a large distance (from the sperms point of view). This is clearly mathematically improbable.
    4. We surely dont want to be teaching our young children about sex in school anyway so the stork theory is more socially acceptable.
    5. There are plenty of willing donors for the textbook "Of Storks and People" so it will cut down on our education costs.
Back to Top