1. Shetland Primary
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    13 Aug '05 14:031 edit
    TAX ASSESSOR

    A tax assessor came one day to a poor pastor to determine the amount of taxes the pastor would have to pay. The following conversation took place;

    "What property do you possess?" asked the assessor.

    "I am a very wealthy man," replied the minister.

    "List your possessions, please," the assessor instructed.

    "First, I have everlasting life (John 3:16)."

    "Second, I have a mansion in heaven (John 14:2)."

    "Third, I have peace that passeth understanding (Philippians 4:7)."

    "Fourth, I have joy unspeakable (1 Peter 1:8)."

    "Fifth, I have divine love which never faileth (1 Corinthians 13:8)."

    "Sixth, I have a faithful precious wife (Proverbs 31:10)."

    "Seventh, I have healthy, happy obedient children (Exodus 20:12)."

    "Eighth, I have true, loyal friend (Proverbs 18:24)."

    "Ninth, I have songs in the night (Psalms 42:8)."

    "Tenth, I have a crown of life (James 1:12)."

    The tax assessor closed his book, and said, "Truly you are a very
    rich man, but your wealth is not subject to taxation."

    -- Author Unknown --
  2. Donationrwingett
    Ming the Merciless
    Royal Oak, MI
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    13 Aug '05 14:17
    Originally posted by dj2becker
    TAX ASSESSOR

    A tax assessor came one day to a poor pastor to determine the amount of taxes the pastor would have to pay. The following conversation took place;

    "What property do you possess?" asked the assessor.

    "I am a very wealthy man," replied the minister.

    "List your possessions, please," the assessor instructed.

    "First, I h ...[text shortened]... u are a very
    rich man, but your wealth is not subject to taxation."

    -- Author Unknown --
    Well, doesn't that just make you feel all warm and snuggly inside? Where did you get that tripe, out of Reader's Digest?
  3. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
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    13 Aug '05 14:49
    Originally posted by rwingett
    Well, doesn't that just make you feel all warm and snuggly inside? Where did you get that tripe, out of Reader's Digest?
    You are so cynical! Anything that might give validity to God being a Republican you just cannot understand. I hope there are taxes in hell.
  4. Standard membertelerion
    True X X Xian
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    13 Aug '05 15:39
    Originally posted by dj2becker
    TAX ASSESSOR

    A tax assessor came one day to a poor pastor to determine the amount of taxes the pastor would have to pay. The following conversation took place;

    "What property do you possess?" asked the assessor.

    "I am a very wealthy man," replied the minister.

    "List your possessions, please," the assessor instructed.

    "First, I h ...[text shortened]... u are a very
    rich man, but your wealth is not subject to taxation."

    -- Author Unknown --
    I think this nefarious pastor is trying to bribe our good tax collector into overlooking abundant evidence of tax fraud! You've gotta read into what the minister is really saying (hint hint), and it's obvious this 'poor pastor' is really a drug kingpen peddling humans and animals in the sex trade.
  5. Donationrwingett
    Ming the Merciless
    Royal Oak, MI
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    13 Aug '05 15:50
    Originally posted by kirksey957
    You are so cynical! Anything that might give validity to God being a Republican you just cannot understand. I hope there are taxes in hell.
    My fiancee and I went to Hell, Michigan, last year and bought an icecream cone. They charged us 6% sales tax.
  6. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
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    13 Aug '05 16:09
    Originally posted by rwingett
    My fiancee and I went to Hell, Michigan, last year and bought an icecream cone. They charged us 6% sales tax.
    I guess the good news for you is that when you two get united in holy matrimony and become fruitful and multiply, you came claim some well-deserved tax deductions.
  7. Standard memberivangrice
    Deracinated
    Sydney
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    13 Aug '05 16:48
    Originally posted by dj2becker
    TAX ASSESSOR

    A tax assessor came one day to a poor pastor to determine the amount of taxes the pastor would have to pay. The following conversation took place;

    "What property do you possess?" asked the assessor.

    "I am a very wealthy man," replied the minister.

    "List your possessions, please," the assessor instructed.

    "First, I h ...[text shortened]... u are a very
    rich man, but your wealth is not subject to taxation."

    -- Author Unknown --
    It kind of tails off at the end there, doesn't it? I was expecting something a little more insightful from the tax assessor. Oh well.
  8. Donationrwingett
    Ming the Merciless
    Royal Oak, MI
    Joined
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    13 Aug '05 17:03
    Originally posted by kirksey957
    I guess the good news for you is that when you two get united in holy matrimony and become fruitful and multiply, you came claim some well-deserved tax deductions.
    There will be no multiplication. My fiancee had a complete hysterectomy as a result of her successful ovarian cancer surgery. Prior to that I had taken the precaution of having a vasectomy. We're covered on both ends.

    If there is any multiplication, it will truly be an example of divine intervention.
  9. Donationkirksey957
    Outkast
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    13 Aug '05 17:25
    Originally posted by rwingett
    There will be no multiplication. My fiancee had a complete hysterectomy as a result of her successful ovarian cancer surgery. Prior to that I had taken the precaution of having a vasectomy. We're covered on both ends.

    If there is any multiplication, it will truly be an example of divine intervention.
    Congratulations to her. May I recommend adoption.
  10. Donationrwingett
    Ming the Merciless
    Royal Oak, MI
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    13 Aug '05 17:41
    Originally posted by kirksey957
    Congratulations to her. May I recommend adoption.
    Sorry, we're both self centered, curmudgeonly atheists. We don't want any raggamuffin urchins impinging upon our idyllic existence. We have a cat. That's enough for us.
  11. Donationkirksey957
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    13 Aug '05 18:39
    Originally posted by rwingett
    Sorry, we're both self centered, curmudgeonly atheists. We don't want any raggamuffin urchins impinging upon our idyllic existence. We have a cat. That's enough for us.
    I was kinda hopin you'd get some kid wit ADHD and you might be beated down enough to find Jesus out of that experience. YOu could at least take the kid to church to get some rest. Sort of let the church work for you for once in ya like.
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