The Doctor's Confessional

Confess your sins unto me.

I'm not offering forgiveness or absolution. I just want to hear them, and maybe ridicule you a bit if I deem it appropriate.

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Confess your sins unto me.

I'm not offering forgiveness or absolution. I just want to hear them, and maybe ridicule you a bit if I deem it appropriate.

This afternoon I had impure thoughts about a girl I saw on the sidewalk who may or may not have been "legal".

Oh, and I'm married.

TheSkipper

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Confess your sins unto me.

I'm not offering forgiveness or absolution. I just want to hear them, and maybe ridicule you a bit if I deem it appropriate.

A few days ago I put a bowl where the plates normally go in my cupboard 😳:'(

Originally posted by TheSkipper
This afternoon I had impure thoughts about a girl I saw on the sidewalk who may or may not have been "legal".

Oh, and I'm married.

TheSkipper

Professor, let not your heart be troubled. From the first days in the Garden, man by his very nature has always fallen victim to temptresses. Be not ashamed of your original sin. Depart, and bask in it.

Originally posted by twiceaknight
A few days ago I put a bowl where the plates normally go in my cupboard 😳:'(

To alleviate your guilt, you must first acknowledge your real sin -- doing a woman's work in the kitchen. Repent, and vow never to repeat it.

Never forget that there is a reason you are missing a rib -- God gave you a helpmate for a reason.

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Confess your sins unto me.

Back in the day, before I tied a knot around my neck, I had an erotic liaison with two willing women in a plush Four Seasons penthouse hotel suite. There was a copious amount of alcohol, delicious food, and sensual fruits in which we indulged to excess. The whirlpool was 110°, and the jets were turned to high. I even recorded many of the night's more interesting proceedings for posterity, a digitized version of which is probably still floating around in cyberspace.

...and I forgot to pay the mini-bar tab upon check-out.

Originally posted by David C
Back in the day, before I tied a knot around my neck, I had an erotic liaison with two willing women in a plush Four Seasons penthouse hotel suite. There was a copious amount of alcohol, delicious food, and sensual fruits in which we indulged to excess. The whirlpool was 110°, and the jets were turned to high. I even recorded many of the night's more interes ...[text shortened]... still floating around in cyberspace.

...and I forgot to pay the mini-bar tab upon check-out.

Thou shalt not steal. What the hell is wrong with you?

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Thou shalt not steal. What the hell is wrong with you?

ROFL!!! Doctor, I think you have a new potential career here! You need to charge for it, man!

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
Thou shalt not steal. What the hell is wrong with you?

I guess I need Jesus more than ever. Do you think he'd have paid my Bar tab?

Originally posted by vistesd
ROFL!!! Doctor, I think you have a new potential career here! You need to charge for it, man!

You mean issue indulgences? I couldn't do that with a clean conscience. It doesn't take a Protestant to know that's sinful.

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
You mean issue indulgences? I couldn't do that with a clean conscience. It doesn't take a Protestant to know that's sinful.

I have to go now, but just wanted you to know my wife and are are laughing till the tears come...

Is such mirth sinful?

Originally posted by vistesd
I have to go now, but just wanted you to know my wife and are are laughing till the tears come...

Is such mirth sinful?

How could mirth at the expense of the reputation of the Roman Catholic Church be sinful? Go and be merry. Come back when you have some real sins to confess.

I was once, OK, maybe many times in a nursing home and had an issue with flatulance. I rationalized that the place stunk anyway so I let fly.

Originally posted by kirksey957
I was once, OK, maybe many times in a nursing home and had an issue with flatulance. I rationalized that the place stunk anyway so I let fly.

No harm, no foul. Let your guilt go.

Unless there's something you're not telling me, like if you deviously turned your backside to a wheelchair-bound cripple with malice in your heart and pretended to discover that your shoe was untied just as you were passing gas. Then I'd have to strip of your title Righteous.

I once had hot rear entry action with a really sexy and incredibly skilled Filipina girl. When I was done, I promptly rolled over and went to sleep, ignoring her carnal needs! I have felt proud yet humiliated ever since. Doctor, what's your recommendation?