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Just had this thought that when one is ready to forgive someone else and ready to announce that to them, maybe one should go slow instead of abruptly telling them, "I forgive you" -- which might seem insincere, incomprehensible, or even combative.
So, maybe let them know that you are ready to forgive them, and ask if they would prefer:
a) instant forgiveness
b) gradual forgiveness
c) grudging but eventual forgiveness
What do you think?
@kevin-eleven saidIf it is sincere, does it have to be voiced without cause? If someone asks for it, by all means, give it, but some, as you have said, can use the term to get under the skin of the one they say it to. Being authentic is the only thing we should strive for.
Just had this thought that when one is ready to forgive someone else and ready to announce that to them, maybe one should go slow instead of abruptly telling them, "I forgive you" -- which might seem insincere, incomprehensible, or even combative.
So, maybe let them know that you are ready to forgive them, and ask if they would prefer:
a) instant forgiveness
b) gradual forgiveness
c) grudging but eventual forgiveness
What do you think?
@kellyjay saidYeah, and following on from that, I think a lot of people can tell from the vibe in-person as things develop.
If it is sincere, does it have to be voiced without cause? If someone asks for it, by all means, give it, but some, as you have said, can use the term to get under the skin of the one they say it to. Being authentic is the only thing we should strive for.
@kevin-eleven saidI agree you do something wrong, admit it asks for forgiveness, and one wronged, say, "I forgive you," but if it isn't from the heart, their following words and actions will show that those words were nothing more than words. Sometimes just a look can tell you, but the danger there could also be our guilt; they could, and we still feel guilty no matter their attitude.
Yeah, and following on from that, I think a lot of people can tell from the vibe in-person as things develop.