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You know you are a conservative church if:

You know you are a conservative church if:

Spirituality

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1. The Christian right seems a little too liberal.
2. Voting republican probably should have been the eleventh and last commandment.
3. There is a mural of Charltan Heston in the church lobby of him portraying Moses with an NRA advertisement at the bottom.
4. Family values is a must just as Dan Quayle first proudly proclaimed it to be. That is, as long as you are not bashing those who divorce.
5. Pictures of Christ are seen with him clean shaven and wearing a rolex.
6. Outreaches are seen as a tax shelter.
7. All fundraising endevours inevitably turn into golfing tournaments.
8. Grace and forgivness are only for straight people.

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They play this in conservative churches (except the last part)