I am very angry,
My son, separated for 10 months, seems about to lose his kids except for 3 nights a fortnight ( Sat,Sun,Mon). My Daughter-in-law boasted that she had not cooked dinner in 10yrs, leaving him to do the cooking. He also bathed the kids every night and put them to bed. She works 3 days per week.
At the start of the separation she would not let my son see the kids unless he agreed to pay all her bills.
As she was unfaithful and the relationship toxic he left and rented a house himself.
Being forced to seek legal advice, he was told not to play her game and not cause conflict.
Through a lawyer he negotiated to see the kids for the 3 nights, ( locking it in, stopping her from playing games ) until a court hearing, which with the covid divorce rate was a LOT longer than anticipated.
1 day before court he gets told by his own legal rep that he has virtually no chance of getting 50/50 ( which is what he is after ) and will probably end up with the 3 nights still as he is male. Not those exact words but same/same.
If he had kept the kids and not returned them, he has been told that he would have been crucified. She can get away with it because she is female.
How is this fair?
By her own testimony, the kids keep asking to see daddy more, the older one asking to see him the same time.
The kids are obviously distressed by it all.
Thoughts??? How is this right.
@jimmac saidBy the facts you state it doesn’t seem to be fair.
I am very angry,
My son, separated for 10 months, seems about to lose his kids except for 3 nights a fortnight ( Sat,Sun,Mon). My Daughter-in-law boasted that she had not cooked dinner in 10yrs, leaving him to do the cooking. He also bathed the kids every night and put them to bed. She works 3 days per week.
At the start of the separation she would not let my son see the ...[text shortened]... e him the same time.
The kids are obviously distressed by it all.
Thoughts??? How is this right.
I don’t know Australian law though.
And I don’t know which considerations the judge made.
@shavixmir saidI hope I am wrong but we have been told that this is the most likely outcome tomorrow.
By the facts you state it doesn’t seem to be fair.
I don’t know Australian law though.
And I don’t know which considerations the judge made.
The facts are worse for her than I have stated, and I know that everyone hear has no reason to believe what I write, except I have no reason to lie. If he was a bad Dad I would say, as I am after thoughts on how to sort this out ASAP. She has lied ( We have lots of proof ) time and time again, but it will not count, ( does not impact on her care abilities ),it does not make sense.
@jimmac
I am not familiar with custody law in Oz, but by the sound of it, it seems antiquated. Much may depend on the ages of the children. Very young children will have no say in the matter, but once children are older (it varies from country to country, but in some places from about age 12) the children's wishes about the parent with whom they prefer to live may be taken into account.
Get a good lawyer, and go by the book. Vigilante actions (such as kidnapping your own kids and making a run for it) will severely prejudice the outcome.
@moonbus saidOur family is experiencing the opposite situation where the mother - my granddaughter - is fighting for shared custody, but it is a very slow and uncertain process. A good lawyer is needed, and as moonbus says, go by the book and show patience and stability.
@jimmac
I am not familiar with custody law in Oz, but by the sound of it, it seems antiquated. Much may depend on the ages of the children. Very young children will have no say in the matter, but once children are older (it varies from country to country, but in some places from about age 12) the children's wishes about the parent with whom they prefer to live may be taken ...[text shortened]... ions (such as kidnapping your own kids and making a run for it) will severely prejudice the outcome.
@moonbus saidThe children are, nearly 4 and just 6.
@jimmac
I am not familiar with custody law in Oz, but by the sound of it, it seems antiquated. Much may depend on the ages of the children. Very young children will have no say in the matter, but once children are older (it varies from country to country, but in some places from about age 12) the children's wishes about the parent with whom they prefer to live may be taken ...[text shortened]... ions (such as kidnapping your own kids and making a run for it) will severely prejudice the outcome.
The children's wishes " may " be taken into account but an assessment will cost approx $5,000.00, and will take some time. It is not easy to determine from an external position.
@jimmac saidAll I know about Oz, and I've lived here over 40 years is that the courts have shown a clear bias in favour of women both in their rulings on divorce and child custody. In the absence of amicable parents ( and the courts and agencies really prefer couples who can make mutually acceptable arrangements ) husbands have their work cut out for them proving they are the better or preferred parent. If the situation is as you say then she might be revelling in her court backed power by making things tough for him purely out of spite. If he plays it cool and comes across as unperturbed then the reality of having them nearly full time might give way to a more equal sharing once she realises the work involved.
The children are, nearly 4 and just 6.
The children's wishes " may " be taken into account but an assessment will cost approx $5,000.00, and will take some time. It is not easy to determine from an external position.
@kmax87 saidWise - always focus on what is best for the children, they are what matters.
All I know about Oz, and I've lived here over 40 years is that the courts have shown a clear bias in favour of women both in their rulings on divorce and child custody. In the absence of amicable parents ( and the courts and agencies really prefer couples who can make mutually acceptable arrangements ) husbands have their work cut out for them proving they are the better or pr ...[text shortened]... g them nearly full time might give way to a more equal sharing once she realises the work involved.
The post that was quoted here has been removedSo you suggest that the daughter in law should be encouraged to join a chess site to state her case in a debates Forum?
Maybe we can debate a pint, which could be put as: Is there a gender inequality in such cases in Australia and see the case brought forward as an example?