The post that was quoted here has been removedIn fact I do and I suffer for it. One consequence is that I have lost both as friends, since each of them wanted my complete fealty to their position…
When my parents divorced in 1982 in Germany (FRG), we children (then 12 to 16) were asked to which parent we wanted to go and we ended up with them. But as far as divorces go the one of my parents must probably still count as peaceful, though I wouldn't have claimed that at the time.
@kmax87 saidll I know about Oz, and I've lived here over 40 years is that the courts have shown a clear bias in favour of women both in their rulings on divorce and child custody.
All I know about Oz, and I've lived here over 40 years is that the courts have shown a clear bias in favour of women both in their rulings on divorce and child custody. In the absence of amicable parents ( and the courts and agencies really prefer couples who can make mutually acceptable arrangements ) husbands have their work cut out for them proving they are the better or pr ...[text shortened]... g them nearly full time might give way to a more equal sharing once she realises the work involved.
we are just finding this out.
My son is after 50/50 but seems destined for less.
He has tried to keep conflict away from the kids and has been 99% successful. He lost it when she went from agreeing to 50/50 that they trialed for 2 weeks, ( and agreed in writing, mind you ) to " I have decided to let you have less ". Making it clear that it was not up to him. That was, to the best of my knowledge, the only time.
My son is not claiming to be the " better " parent, she is claiming that she is.
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@jimmac saidYou have my sympathy. From your story, the only advice I can give is to trust a good lawyer, act responsibly and convincingly - there isn't much more you can do at the moment.
Again you are correct, but rather than support or sympathy, I am rather naively after advice, where none can be offered, but I suppose also, I am just venting.
@ponderable saidYou can make a good solution from the wreckage, but no one really won in any of the divorces that come to my mind.
In fact I do and I suffer for it. One consequence is that I have lost both as friends, since each of them wanted my complete fealty to their position…
When my parents divorced in 1982 in Germany (FRG), we children (then 12 to 16) were asked to which parent we wanted to go and we ended up with them. But as far as divorces go the one of my parents must probably still count as peaceful, though I wouldn't have claimed that at the time.
The post that was quoted here has been removedNo he's venting.
Any why not?
We're listening aren't we?
I sympathise, personally.
I'm sure you're right there's another side to this story. But we don't need to hear it. We're not representing him or her. We're just people behind a screen who have feelings and maybe have some similar experience.
@yo-its-me saidIt's all about the children, to make the best for them. It's a great shame that parents don't always see that.
You can make a good solution from the wreckage, but no one really won in any of the divorces that come to my mind.
@torunn saidIf you're not a happy parent you can't make your children feel safe and secure.
It's all about the children, to make the best for them. It's a great shame that parents don't always see that.
It's about all parties.
Marriage starts with such hopes and commitment.
Then something goes wrong, someone takes their eye off the ball and then things slip and damage is left unrepaired.
The children are the joy that keeps the parents alive and picking themselves back up, bringing themselves back to life is the best thing they can do for their children and themselves. It's about everyone involved.
@yo-its-me saidThat's true, everybody matters but that's not always the way it develops. Everybody matters in the best of worlds. But if we have to prioritize, it's the children who need focus and protection, wouldn't you say, YIM?
If you're not a happy parent you can't make your children feel safe and secure.
It's about all parties.
Marriage starts with such hopes and commitment.
Then something goes wrong, someone takes their eye off the ball and then things slip and damage is left unrepaired.
The children are the joy that keeps the parents alive and picking themselves back up, bringing themselve ...[text shortened]... life is the best thing they can do for their children and themselves. It's about everyone involved.