child custody Australia

@jimmac said
The children are, nearly 4 and just 6.
The children's wishes " may " be taken into account but an assessment will cost approx $5,000.00, and will take some time. It is not easy to determine from an external position.

Ouch. My advice is to get competent legal counsel on your son's side, admonish him to demonstrate patience, stability, equanimity, and to accept that bureaucrats will be managing the children's lives for nearly a decade if your son and ex cannot manage it themselves amicably. It's not fun for anybody; I've been there. PM me if you want more detail.

@moonbus said
Ouch. My advice is to get competent legal counsel on your son's side, admonish him to demonstrate patience, stability, equanimity, and to accept that bureaucrats will be managing the children's lives for nearly a decade if your son and ex cannot manage it themselves amicably. It's not fun for anybody; I've been there. PM me if you want more detail.

Thanks everyone thats has wanted/tried to help, the problem is, re this advise, is that it is his attempts not to rock the boat that has got him into his current position. Having said that he has been advised, and my retired lawyer friend has stated, that her refusing to share the kids at the start, because she did not actually refuse, she demanded that he pay to see them, means that it will not count against her. i.e Her lawyers wanted to write up an agreement that would allow him to see the kids 3 nights a fortnight under duress of having to meet all her expenses. As she had locked all the savings accounts, and the mortgage redraw, she had left him with only $12.00 to his name, he was not in a position to even if he wanted.
She had him between a rock and a hard place.
I strongly believe that if he had been in a position to take the kids and leave the state he would have put himself in a stronger negotiating position. Problem is, we did not see this coming.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

You do that all the time.

@jimmac said
Thanks everyone thats has wanted/tried to help, the problem is, re this advise, is that it is his attempts not to rock the boat that has got him into his current position. Having said that he has been advised, and my retired lawyer friend has stated, that her refusing to share the kids at the start, because she did not actually refuse, she demanded that he pay to see them, mea ...[text shortened]... e would have put himself in a stronger negotiating position. Problem is, we did not see this coming.

What does his lawyer recommend him to do to find a long term solution?

@torunn said
What does his lawyer recommend him to do to find a long term solution?

The lawyer says do nothing and be patient. We had a "small" win, if you can call it that. The magistrate left things, re custody, as they are, as expected, but we will get an independent family report writer. He/she will observe My son interact with the kids and also his wife as well separately. What we did get that she did not want was his son ( my grandson ) will be " interviewed " separately. This is good as he has been asking constantly for more time and she knows that. She has told him to stop asking. That was our only victory. we now wait another 2 months. oh well, such is life.
Another bit of good news is that both parties legal costs come out of there own pockets, after finances have been sorted. She has a partner in one of Melbourne's top law firms, that she works at part time but we know that she will not be getting it cheap as the company inadvertently sent a text to my son. small victories are sweet.