In recent years, much time and effort has gone into trying to mathematically manufacture a “more perfect” pi. Mathematicians have come up with long, confusing decimal values and bombarded society with propaganda claiming these are the “best” and only real values. They are trying to play God with pi and it is just as offensive as these scientists who try to play God by cloning cells and developing contraceptives. The Bible gives pi as being equal to 3 (1 Kings 7:23 and 2 Chronicles 4:2), if this is good enough for our ancestors (and God) it should be good enough for us today. Some may point out that other values of pi were used by some early civilizations like the ancient Greeks, but they liked to have sex with young boys and have long since been wiped from the face of the planet for their heathen mathematical and lifestyle choices.
And even if mathematicians are right, pi can never be calculated to an exact value, being as “irrational” as the mathematicians who make up this nonsense. Any value we use is only an estimate. Whether you agree that 3 is a perfectly valid value for pi, or insist on some long, drawn out decimal, they both come to the same thing. Even the values found by the best super computers in the world round off to 3, certainly we shouldn’t waste our time quibbling over a few decimal points. And do you really believe these estimates are within such a tight margin that there can’t be even plus or minus 0.15?
For decades we have been wasting the time of our most powerful computers in calculating pi out to even more obscenely unnecessary and probably inaccurate decimal places. Entire new computing methods and mathematical techniques have been developed during this irrational computation of pi: out to 1.24 trillion places. An impressive waste of time and money at least. It isn’t as if there are applications for these methods outside of pointless pi counting.
And pi is not only wasting computer memory but human memory as well. Memorizing digits of pi has been a world record which has been overturned frequently, currently held by one man who has memorized it to 100,000 decimal places. And it isn’t just one crazed sociopath; thousands upon thousands of people waste their time trying to memorize pi. All that energy and memory space could be put to much better use memorizing important things like baseball statistics or bible verses without impairing mathematics at all, everyone has 3 memorized already. Why haven’t I seen any contests for who could recite the most baseball statistics in the news lately?
And that brings up waste of our scarce intellectual resources; the field of piphilology, or creating mnemonics for help in memorizing pi. The common form is for each word in a sentence to have as many letters as the value of the next digit of pi. One of the most famous examples was created by the notorious atheist, Isaac Asimov: “How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics!” We shouldn’t be indoctrinating our children with alcohol, atheism, quantum mechanics and other evils under the guise of “geometry”. They are corrupted by their math classes enough without our teachers using pi to subliminally brainwash them. As always, 3 saves us time, effort, money, and sin. It doesn’t really need a mnemonic, but if we were to create one, there are myriad acceptable words, including: Hey!, fun, pie, God, sod, off, etc.
Our schools use pi as an excuse to waste valuable time and money in other ways too. March 14 is known as “Pi Day” in many countries and school districts. Schools claim it gets students excited about math, but instead of following their regular schedule and style of teaching, the teachers confuse students by relating many other subjects, like writing and art, to math, instead of keeping math confined to the math classroom where it belongs. It would be far better for educations to just declare March as “3 Month” and spend the math classes during that month focusing on the importance of the number 3 and practicing with triangles and trigonometry. I’m sure this would get students just as excited about math without having to disrupt their daily schedule or the focus of their other subjects.
Finally, when doing vital calculations, we shouldn’t be using numbers that distract us. While calculating exactly how many thousands of years old the Earth is, and how many angels can actually dance on the head of a pin, we can be distracted and led into error when forced to use symbols which remind us of food. If we settled on a nice value like 3, we wouldn’t need to use a symbol or fancy name and could get on with math instead of becoming preoccupied with tasty desserts. We’d be able to do geometry and even calculus while hungry, massively increasing the productivity of mathematicians and middle school students as lunch approaches.
This idea may seem new and radical but it isn’t. It has merely been suppressed by the liberal media and been ignored by our legislators while they handle issues they perceive as more important, such as the rights of our great country to control abortions, medical procedures, speech, flag burning, and to be able to spy on citizens who may be dangerous criminals. But in 1897, a time much less troubled by liberals and scientists, the Indiana House of Representatives introduced House Bill #246, which would have set the value of pi, by law, as a nice, simple, rational number. Bill #246 made the same point I’m trying to make here: "Since the rule in present use fails to work ..., it should be discarded as wholly wanting and misleading in the practical applications.” The only weakness to this otherwise brilliant bill was that it allowed for three possible values to be legally used, 3.2, 4, and 3.23. By allowing too much variety, they conceded that pi did not have one true value. Despite this flaw, the bill managed to pass through normal channels in the House and be approved. It started in the Committee on Swamp Lands, but was passed on to the Committee on Education, which gave it an “ought to pass” recommendation and sent it on to the House where it was passed 67 to 0. It would have gone on to pass the senate and become Indiana law if it weren’t for the meddling of a passing liberal math professor from Perdue, C.A. Waldo. He beguiled some of the senators with mathematical gibberish and they were tricked into tabling the bill and letting it die.
I propose we reintroduce Bill #246, but at a national level and without its previous show of weakness and uncertainty. Pi will be equal to 3 and 3 only, and it will be the law of the land. This will undoubtedly further many valuable research endeavors, improve the public education system and the standardized test scores of our students, and save millions of dollars which we can use to give tax cuts to those heroic congressmen and their friends who do so much to improve this great country.
Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnowfunny as heck!
In recent years, much time and effort has gone into trying to mathematically manufacture a “more perfect” pi. Mathematicians have come up with long, confusing decimal values and bombarded society with propaganda claiming these are the “best” and only real values. They are trying to play God with pi and it is just as offensive as these scientists who t ...[text shortened]... uts to those heroic congressmen and their friends who do so much to improve this great country.
Problem is, if there's one country in the world where that might happen, the US is it!
Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnowdude, i hope you're joking 🙂. that bill is something only americans would think of. (and i am not talking about decent, brilliant americans). i can understand the american way, microwave dinners, instant coffee trying to save time so you could do other important stuff but shaving digits of pi? what would you think of next? making the day 20 hours or 30 because 24 just isn't sexy? e is not right having all those decimals, let's make it a clean 2.
In recent years, much time and effort has gone into trying to mathematically manufacture a “more perfect” pi. Mathematicians have come up with long, confusing decimal values and bombarded society with propaganda claiming these are the “best” and only real values. They are trying to play God with pi and it is just as offensive as these scientists who t ...[text shortened]... uts to those heroic congressmen and their friends who do so much to improve this great country.
dude i hope the hell you're joking, that is why i will stop here and not go into mathematics that, as a major in them you know more about them and this is just irony at some stupid senators(not always redundant, there can be smart senators)
Originally posted by ZahlanziActuallly, I wrote it myself I'll have you all know. I felt very inspired at 3 AM a few nights back, wrote it up, revised it a bit, and reordered some things, noticed april fool's day was coming up, and decided I'd use it then.
sure it has, i thought i was reading a news article. if it were about the french or the english, or the canadians i would probably not have fallen for it. but being about americans, nothing would have surprised me
Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnowEVSOA
In recent years, much time and effort has gone into trying to mathematically manufacture a “more perfect” pi. Mathematicians have come up with long, confusing decimal values and bombarded society with propaganda claiming these are the “best” and only real values. They are trying to play God with pi and it is just as offensive as these scientists who t ...[text shortened]... uts to those heroic congressmen and their friends who do so much to improve this great country.